First Blush
by DJWMom
Summary: Breaking Dawn from Edwards Perspective
1. Engaged

**AN - I wasn't originally going to publish this, I was just writing it for myself, but after some edits and additions I decided to publish it. Of course, reviews always welcome. This is my first fanfic, so be gentle :o) I have two more chapters written and almost ready to be published, they should be up this weekend. Cheers!**

Chapter 1 (EPOV)

I laughed under my breath at Alice's vision of my Bella at the gas station. She knew the truth about her "before" car now and I would probably get a stern talking to tonight. It would be worth it, with just four days until the wedding, there is no way I was risking anything happening to my love. I've waited far too long for this day... and for her.

Alice must've heard me chuckle..

"Stay out of my head, Edward!" she growled at me, "I don't need you stumbling upon something you're not supposed to see before the wedding.

I sighed and sat down at my piano, playing Bella's lullaby. While I played I recalled the night we told Charlie about our engagement.

*****************************

_**I heard Charlie's cruiser long before Bella did, but I could easily tell when she did hear his return. She began to fidget and I didn't need to read her mind to be able to figure out that she was trying to decide where to put her hands. I kept them in my grip, making sure she didn't have any chance to change her mind about telling Charlie.**_

_**"Stop fidgeting Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here" I said**_

_**"Easy for you to say" She shot back**_

_**She was nervous, actually it was closer to terrified. My silly Bella, thinking backwards again. I was intrigued that she could be so at ease in a house full of vampires, but terrified of telling her father that she was engaged. **_

_**"Calm down, Bella" I whispered**_

_**I heard the door close and felt Bella flinch**_

_**"Hey Charlie" I called**_

_**"No!" Bella whispered**_

_**"What?" I asked**_

_**"Wait until he hangs up his gun"**_

_**I chuckled at the thought of Charlie coming after me with his gun, and the confused look on his face when his bullets failed to kill me. Charlie's thoughs broke me free of my daydream. **__Great, of course he's here. __**He thought sarcastically. He sighed, **__Relax Charlie, he makes her happy, she's good with him. He's good for her. __**I was grateful at how hard Charlie has been trying to forgive me.**_

_**"Hey kids, what's up?" He asked, as he walked into the living room.**_

_**"We'd like to talk to you" I said, "We have some good news"**_

_**""Good news?" Charlie asked, looking straight at Bella**_

_**"Have a seat Dad" Bella said**_

_**Charlie stomped to his recliner, his mind going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what our news would be.**_

_**"Don't get worked up Dad" Bella said "Everything's ok"**_

_**I didn't like that Bella only said "Ok" and I'm sure it showed on my face for a minute. I composed myself when I noticed her glance at me.**_

_**"Sure it is, Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great then why are you sweating bullets?"**_

_**"I'm not sweating" Bella lied, while wiping sweat from her brow. Just then I heard Charlie's mind focus on one thought: **__PREGNANT! SHE'S PREGNANT!! __**He yelled to himself **__I'LL KILL HIM!!!!_

_**"You're pregnant!" Charlie exploded "you're pregnant, aren't you?"**_

_**Charlie glared at me, thinking of all the things he'd love to do to me for getting his baby pregnant. I was dreading Bella's reaction to this, this was one of her reasons for not wanting to marry so young, she was convinced that everyone would just assume that a surprise pregnancy would be the only reason for us to marry so young and so soon. **_

_**"No, of course I'm not!" Bella shot back quickly. I saw her quickly shoot me an "I told so" look. Charlie's glare immediately softened and I could here from his thoughts that he believed her.**_

_**"Oh, sorry" he said, still looking at me.**_

_**"Apology accepted" Bella said, her voice softer as well.**_

_**There was a pause . Bella looked up at me, panic-stricken. It was clear that she wasn't going to be able to get the words out. I smiled at her, reassuring her that I would do it, and turned to Charlie.**_

_**"Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should've asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life and - by some miracle - she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing?"**_

_**Bella held her breath and watched her father, who was now turning an odd blue colour. I listened to Charlie think. Bella attempted to get up and go to him, but I squeezed her hand and told her to give him a minute. Charlie was trying to decide whether to accept it, or attempt to kill me. I relaxed when he decided to trust his daughter's decision.**_

_**"Guess I'm not that surprised," He finally said, "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough.**_

_**Bella finally exhaled.**_

_**"You sure about this?" Charlie demanded**_

_**"I'm 100% sure about Edward" Bella replied immediately**_

_**"Getting married though? What's the rush?" He eyed her suspiciously again, wondering if he believed her too quickly before, and if she was infact pregnant. I decided to step in with my explanation, hoping it would be enough to lead him away from his pregnancy thoughts again.**_

_**"We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall, Charlie" I reminded him, "I'd like to do that, well, the right way. It's how I was raised."**_

_**Charlie's mouth twisted to the side, and I could hear the arguments he was tossing around in his head. He gave up and accepted it, when he couldn't come up with a good enough argument to my explanation. **_

_**"Knew this was coming" He muttered, defeated. Then a new thought entered his mind. **__Renee. __**"Ha!" Charlie exploded, "Ha Ha Ha"**_

_**Bella looked at me confused. I was trying my hardest not to laugh at the though running through Charlie's mind, so I had my lips pressed firmly together.**_

_**"Okay, fine" Charlie choked out, between laughter, "Get married" The laughter started again "But..."**_

_**"But, what?" Bella demanded, nervous.**_

_**"But you hat to tell your Mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"**_

_************************************_

Bella's lullaby ended and brought me back to reality. I was amazed at how engrained the song was now, and I no longer needed to think about playing it. It was natural, it was a part of me. A new thought entered my head and I began to play a much more upbeat piece, a new piece, one that truly expressed my joy that in four short days I would be joined forever with my love, my Bella.


	2. Long night

**Disclaimer: I'm not SM, I do not own twilight. Characters and dialogue based on "Breaking Dawn"**

Chapter 2

" I miss you already" She whispered

"I don't need to leave. I can stay."

"Mmmm"

We leaned in to kiss each other. I inhaled her scent. It was glorious. Nowhere near as tempting as it used to be, although that burn in my throat would always be there. I craved that burn. I craved it almost as much as that fire that began to rise as we kissed. We pulled away and I stared at her. I didn't understand how I could be so lucky to deserve her in my life. She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. The soft white light was reflecting off her curls and face, and I've never seen her more beautiful. How could I leave her tonight? My brothers would just have to be disappointed.

"Definitely staying." I murmured to her

"No, no, it's your bachelor party. You have to go."

She tried to sound convincing but I could tell from her actions that she wanted me to stay as much as I wanted to.

"Bachelor parties are for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."

"True." She breathed against my throat.

We were laying on her bed, intertwined with the aid of a blanket. I hated that it was necessary, and I knew Bella did too, but I hated to know how cold she got without it. She ran her warm hand down my bare chest. The hot as fire touch send shivers through me as my mouth found hers again. She began to trace my lips with her tongue, and I could feel that fire start to burn deep down. If I wasn't careful I was going to lose control and give into my desires. I sighed and started to pull away.

"Wait." She said, kicking on of her legs free and wrapping it around my body "Practice makes perfect."

I chuckled.

"Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"

"But this is the dress rehearsal," She said "and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."

Bella's reminder about her safety made me stiffen with stress. How could she crack jokes about something I have been worrying about since we made our little deal? This was serious...

"Bella..."

"Shhh!" She kissed me to stop my arguments, and probably my sudden panic attack too. I kissed her back but was still to worried about harming her in the heat of the moment to really get into it like before.

"How are your feet?" I asked, trying to distract myself"Toasty warm" She replied, with a smile.

"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."

"Are you trying to ditch me?"

I chuckled. My silly Bella.

"Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about"

"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."

"Can you?" I asked "I don't mean the wedding - which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms - but afterward...what about Renee, what about Charlie?" I don't think she quite understood what she was getting herself into. She sighed.

"I'll miss them"

"Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike?" I asked

"I'll miss my friend too" She replied, smiling "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"

I let out a small growl. Even though I knew she would be mine forever, the jealousy shot through me. She laughed and then said seriously,

"Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."

"Frozen forever at 18."

"Every woman's dream come true." She teased.

"Never changing...Never moving forward"

"What does that mean?" She asked

"Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were...pregnant?"

Oh how I wish that were possible!

"And he thought about shooting you?" She laughed. "Admit it - for one second, he honestly considered it." She was right, he had considered it, but I didn't answer her. "What, Edward?"

It was time to be honest with her.

"I just wish... well, I wish that he'd been right."

"Gah" She gasped.

"More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you, too."

She thought for a moment - oh, how I wish I could hear what she was thinking right now!

"I know what I'm doing" She finally said, calmly.

"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine"

"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later we can do what Esme did - we'll adopt!"

I sighed, and then was angry. Angry at myself, angry at what I was, and what I couldn't provide my sweet Bella.

"It's not right!" I shot out, bitterly "I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human -" She put her hand over my lips to quiet me

"You are my future. Now Stop. No moping, or I'm calling you brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party." She was right

"I'm sorry. I am moping aren't I? Must be the nerves."

"Are your feet cold?"

"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the only thing I can't wait - "

_Oh, Edward... _I heard Jasper sing-song in his head. _You better come on out, or I'll have to break into her room, and I don't want to catch you doing what I think you're doing! _Emmett. He has SUCH a dirty mind.

"Oh for the love of all that is holy."

"What's wrong?" Bella asked me, confused.

"You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."

"Have fun!" Bella answered, suppressing a giggle.

At that moment I heard Emmett scaling the house, and then he scraped his nails across the window.

"If you don't send Edward out" Emmett said, playfully "we're coming in after him." He tried to sound menacing, but I knew he was fighting back laughter.

"Go" Bella laughed, she was clearly amused "before they break my house."

I rolled my eyes, but got up and threw my shirt on, noting the look of disappointment in Bella's face when I did so. It amused me that Bella was having as much trouble with her self control and hormones as I was. I leaned in and kissed my love's forehead.

"Get to sleep" I said "You have a big day tomorrow."

"Thanks," She replied "that's sure to wind me down."

"I'll meet you at the altar"

"I'll be the one in white" I chuckled

"Very convincing"

I crouched down and launched myself out the window, landing on Emmett. He cursed at me and then we heard Bella mutter "You'd better not make him late" quietly, knowing we'd still hear her. Jasper scaled the house and send calming waves towards Bella. He must be feeling her nervousness.

"Don't worry, Bella. We'll get him home in plenty of time"

"Jasper?" I heard Bella ask "what do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking his to a strip club are you?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled from beside me. I punched him in the arm and laughed quietly.

"Relax," Jasper told her "We Cullens have our own version. Just a few mountain lions, a couple of grizzly bears. Pretty much an ordinary night out."

"Thanks Jasper" She whispered, as he winked and dropped from her window.

_**Sweet dreams, my love. **_I thought as we sprinted away from her house.. It was going to be hard for me to be away from her tonight, I always love to watch her sleep. Listening to her talk in her sleeping the only insight I get into her mind, I'm especially curious to know what she'll be dreaming about tonight.

My bachelor party was just another night out with the guys. We hunted, and filled up as much as possible since there would be a house full of humans the next day. I sat by myself for quite a while, thinking about what Bella and I had talked about tonight. I began to grow impatient for the sun to come up and my wedding day to arrive.

"You need to relax too, Edward" Jasper said

"Nervous about the wedding night, little bro?" Emmett laughed. I sighed. Of course I was nervous for that.

"Yes, but not in the sense you're thinking of" I said, quietly "She's just so fragile. I'm terrified I'm going to hurt her"

I felt a wave of calm falling over me. _**Thank you, Jasper. **_I thought.

"Try not to worry too much, Edward" He said "The sun is coming up. It's your wedding day. Just try to think about the first time you see your bride in her wedding dress. In a few short hours, my brother, you will be a married man."


	3. The wedding

**AN - Chapter 3 is a short one, and didn't take me long to type up and edit, so you're getting two chapter in one day. I'm half way through Chapter 4, but it's a little more difficult, so it will probably be up early next week. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer, I'm not SM, I do not own Twilight. Characters and dialogue based on "Breaking Dawn"**

Chapter 3

We got back to the house early afternoon. Bella was still upstairs with my sisters, who were fussing over her. I was pleased to see Rosalie helping Alice with Bella. I knew Rosalie was still bitter about the decision Bella was making, but it was nice to see her trying to accept Bella into our family. As soon as Esme heard us enter, she was giving us tasks, and getting us to help finish last minute details. I had to hand it to Alice, everything looked magnificent. It was definitely worth waiting a century for _this _wedding. I tried to sneak a peak of Bella in Alice or Rosalie's minds, but they were careful to think about other things and block me out.

I was changed into my tux when Jasper returned with Renee and Phil. I was sitting outside when they pulled up.

"Stuck outside, Edward?" Renee asked, amused. I had enjoyed spending the last few day's with my future Mother-in-Law. I was sad that I wouldn't get more of a chance to get to know her in the future.

"Alice threatened my life if I got anywhere near the inside of the house before being given permission" I replied, with a grin "Go ahead in, I'm sure she's waiting for you."

Charlie was the next to arrive with Mr Weber, the minister. I sent him right upstairs too. Finally Rosalie came out to allow me in. The guests were seated and I took my position with Carlisle at my side, then Rosalie sat down at the piano and began to play. _This is it. _I thought, thrilled and anxious. I could hear Alice at the top of the stairs. "_It's my turn" _She said to Bella "_Count to five and then follow me"_

"Don't let me fall, Dad." I heard her say, and then they started down the stairs.

Bella was an absolute vision of beauty. Her dress hugged her body, and she looked like a goddess in it. I'm sure Jasper was feeling some pretty strong feelings of lust coming off me right now. Was I really lucky enough to have this beautiful creature all to myself? Bella blushed that beautiful shade of red, as if hearing what I was thinking. She got to the bottom of the stairs and looked around, looking reluctant, until she spotted me, and then seemed to be pulling Charlie down the aisle, having trouble staying slow enough to keep in time with the music. I let out a low chuckle that no human ears would be able to hear, but I noticed Carlisle crack a small smile. Bella and Charlie reached the end of the aisle, and I held my hand out. Charlie placed her hand in mine, and I was instantly relaxed and peaceful at the burning heat that radiated from her touch.

We had a simple ceremony, choosing to use the traditional vows. I barely listened to the minister, I was too lost in Bella's eyes and beautiful face. She began to tear as we reached the "I do's", and had I been able to cry as well, I would have been.

"I do." She said, quietly, almost a whisper.

"I do." I vowed, never more confident of anything in my entire life.

Mr Weber pronounced us Husband and Wife, and I reached up to my wife's face to pull her in for our kiss. I kissed her tenderly, and her heart began to race. She reached up and wrapped her arms around me, kissing me deeper. There was a low chuckle from the audience, and I ended the kiss before it got too out of hand. I grinned at her, still amused at the reaction my kisses had on her.

The audience applauded and crowded around us, Bella's mom was the first to wrap her arms around us. We didn't let each others hands go once while the tidal wave of hugs hit us. She was mine now, and I wasn't ever letting go.


	4. The reception

**Disclaimer: I am not SM, nor do I own twilight. Characters and dialogue based on "Breaking Dawn"**

**Chapter 4 **

The wedding ceremony ended just at twilight, perfectly flawless planning on Alice's part. We held the reception outside in the backyard. Alice and Esme had it perfectly decorated with thousands of twinkle light and flowers. The flowers looked gorgeous, set off by the lights and the setting sun, although beautiful, they paled in comparison to my new wife's beauty. I led Bella outside through the glass back doors, where we were greeted once again by our friends and family.

"Congrats, guys" Seth Clearwater beamed at us. He was joined by his mother Sue, who was clearly uncomfortable being here, and Billy Black. I knew he was no fan of our family, and made his disapproval of our marriage quite clear in his thoughts. He was here to show support to Charlie, and to Bella, whom he knew was missing Jacob today. Seth leaned in to me, arms open, and I returned the hug. Seth had become a great friend and ally to us in our time of need and to him I would always be grateful.

"It's good to see things work out for you, man" He told me "I'm happy for you"

"Thank you Seth. That means a lot to me." I answered as I pulled away. I turned to Sue and Billy, "Thank you, as well. For letting Seth come. For supporting Bella today."

"You're welcome" Billy replied. I could tell he was trying very hard to keep something out of his mind, I decided not to probe to deeply.

Angela and Ben, Jessica and Mike and Angela's parents were the next to claim us. Despite holding Jessica's hand, Mike had the nerve to think some rather dirty thoughts about my wife. I took incredible self-control on my part not to growl at him and throw him out. Next up were the Denali's. I heard Bella suck in a breath and hold it when Tanya embraced me. Was she still self-conscious of the woman who has once tried to win my affections?

"Ah, Edward," Tanya said "I've missed you."

Apparently my new marriage didn't persuade her either. Her thoughts betrayed her feelings for me. I was glad Bella couldn't read her mind. I pulled out of the hug and placed my hand lightly on her shoulder.

"It's been too long, Tanya You look well."

"So do you" _Look at how that tux looks on him! He looks awfully amazing in the moonlight... wonder if I could convince him to join me upstairs later, since I'm sure him and Bella can't... _I cut her thoughts off there.

"Let me introduce you to my wife" I was thrilled to finally be able to say that out loud for the first time. "Tanya, this is my Bella"

Tanya eyed Bella. _She's going to be a spectacular looking vampire. _She thought, then gave a mental sigh and stuck her hand out to Bella.

"Welcome to the family, Bella" She smiled. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I am sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"

"Of course" Bella replied "It's so nice to meet you."

"The Cullen's are all evened up in numbers now. Perhaps it will be our turn next, eh, Kate?" She joked to Kate.

"Keep the dream alive" Kate said, with a roll of her eyes. She turned to Bella and added "Welcome, Bella"

"I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar" She introduced herself and her husband to Bella "We're so very pleased to finally meet you."

"M-me, too" Bella choked out.

Tanya looked behind her at the line of people forming. She worried that they were taking to much of our time and that people would get upset, but the only thoughts in Deputy Mark and his wife's heads were awe at the sight of the Denali clan.

"We'll get to know each other later. We'll have eons of time for that." Tanya laughed

We greeted each person in line. I could tell Bella was quite uncomfortable the whole time at the attention. After the receiving line, we had dinner. Bella helped me out by eating some of mine when our human guests were too distracted with their own dinner to notice. She was quite good about being sneaky about it. When we cut the cake though, I had to swallow the piece Bella shoved in my mouth. It tasted awful, like spongy sawdust. I was not looking forward to regurgitating it back up later. Bella threw her bouquet and it landed right in Angela's arms. I noticed the slight look of fear on Ben's face and chuckled. It was now time for me to do the garter. I have been looking forward to this tradition since Bella agreed to marry me. I pulled Bella's dress up and her blush sent Emmett and Jasper into a fit of laughter. Bella had shimmied the garter nearly down to her ankle, and I was quite disappointed with the location. Very carefully I slid the garter off of her beautiful leg with my teeth. I gave Bella a quick wink, and then purposely shot it into Mike's face.

The music started and it was time for the first dance. Bella was nervous about this dance, but I knew she would be fine, she had me leading her. She seemed quite willing to dance with me now, despite the fears I've heard her voice to me for the last few months. I twirled her effortlessly on the dance floor. It was something out of a fairy tale, the dance floor was canopied by hundreds of twinkle lights and surrounded by white flowers. It was positioned on the edge of the forest, which gave it a magical backdrop. I leaned down and whispered into Bella's ear

"Enjoying the party, Mrs Cullen?"

"That will take me a while to get used to" Bella laughed

"We have a while" I reminded her, and then leaned down for a kiss.

The music changed and I knew it was time to let Bella go. Charlie tapped me on the shoulder. It was his turn for a dance with his daughter. Charlie and Bella started to dance awkwardly on the dance floor. I grabbed Esme and twirled her to the floor. She gave me a motherly hug mid twirl. _I'm so happy for you two, Edward _She thought _She fits into our family so well and has been so good for you. I'm curious to see how you two will truly blossom when she becomes an immortal, and you no longer have to worry about accidentally hurting her. _This thought was bitter-sweet for me. I was truly starting to love the idea of having Bella around me forever, and no longer having to hold back anything from her, I looked forward to being able to take her on hunting trips, instead of leaving her behind. But...but I would miss her humanity, and I still wasn't sure about the thought of her losing her soul. It seemed so selfish of me to turn Bella just to make things easier on me, better for me. Most of all though, I would miss watching her sleep.

We were passed though the guests. Everyone wanted to dance with the Bride and Groom. A new song started and Alice twirled herself into my arms for a second dance.

"Having fun, my brother?" She asked

"I am," I replied "Although I'd love another chance to dance with my wife." Alice giggled

"She's dancing with Newton"

My head shot up and looked for Bella. Alice was right, there she was, dancing with him. That's when his thoughts hit me _God, she looks hot tonight. What I wouldn't give to undress her right now and... _That was enough for me. Without saying a word, I walked away from Alice. From her expression, I could tell she saw this coming and that's why my dance was with _her _for this song. Anyone else wouldn't gotten upset if I'd ditched them mid song. I walked as quick as possible across the dance floor to rescue my bride.

"May I cut in?" I asked, not waiting for Mike's answer as I grabbed Bella and spun her away from him and into my arms. Mike shot me mental curses, but I didn't care, now that Bella was safely in my arms.

"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" Bella asked, amused.

"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."

"Yeah, right" Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"

"Um no, I guess not. Why?" _Alice! _I thought _Why on earth hadn't you made her look in the mirror?!_

"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breaking beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having improper thoughts about a married woman. I am disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror though."

"You are very biased, you know"

Biased? _Oh Bella _I thought _When are you going to realize just how beautiful you are. _I sighed and spun her around so she was facing the house, standing in front of the wall of glass, which was acting as her mirror.

"Biased am I?" I asked while staring at my lovely wife's reflection. I saw her look my reflection up and down, and the slow look of shock when she finally took in her reflection.

_Edward... _I heard a familiar voice call in my head. I stiffened and turned towards the sound of the familiar mind... I guess this is what Billy was hiding from me earlier.

"Oh!" I said slightly shocked. I realized I had said that out loud and hadn't meant to. I plastered a smile onto my face - for Bella.

"What is it?" She asked, confused.

"I surprise wedding gift."

"huh?"

I didn't answer her, instead I started us dancing again, leading her away from the house and towards the forest at the edge of the dance floor.

"Thank you"" I said into the darkness "This is very... kind of you"

"Kind is my middle name" He replied "Can I cut it"

Bella clued in to what was going on and a look of realization came across her beautiful face.

"Jacob!" She choked out. "Jacob!"

"Hey there Bells"

Bella started to move towards him, so I kept a hold of her arm so she wouldn't fall. Jacob took a hold of her and embraced her in a hug. I needed to excuse myself and give them a few minutes...my jealousy could only take so much when it came to him.

"Rosalie won't forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor." I murmured

"Oh, Jacob" I heard her cry as I walked away. "Thank you"

"Care to Dance with me, Rosalie?" I asked while grabbing her hand and spinning her towards me.

"What's that dog doing here?" She spit out

"He's just here to see Bella and wish her well. I suspect he's also trying to get some information on when we plan to change her." Rosalie winced at this. She hated the idea of Bella giving up her humanity more that I did. Rosalie was still bitter that she'd lost her own humanity and the thing she'd wanted most - the ability to have a baby.

"You're just going to leave her alone with him? He could hurt her"

"Yes, I trust her, and I keep sneaking peeks into his mind and the conversation between the two of them. He's not here to make trouble, of that much I'm sure."

The song came to and end and I checked on Bella.

"Songs over," I heard Jacob say "Do you think I get another one? Or is that asking to much"

"You can have as many dances as you want." She replied

She was still fine, and no one had noticed that she was missing, so I would give them a few more minutes together. I was standing with my family now, who were all nervous with Bella in the woods.

"Relax, guys" I said to them "She's ok, he wouldn't hurt her, and he definitely wouldn't start something here, now." I felt Esme put her arm over my shoulders, _I'm very proud of you Edward, for giving her this moment with her friend._

Something caught my attention in the woods, Jacob's thoughts had turned angry. _That vile blood-sucking leech. _I snapped my head up in their direction. What had I missed? I saw Jacob grab Bella by the tops of her arms.

"Ow, Jake. Let go." She said frightened.

I let out a low growl and my family immediately followed my gaze. We see Jacob start to shake Bella. _Go, son _Carlisle urged. _We're here if you need us. _Jasper thought. I walked over to Bella and Jacob as quick as I could without drawing attention to myself or the scene in the woods.

"Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking!" He was getting angry and beginning to shake. If I didn't get him away from her soon, she might get hurt.

"Jake - Stop" She whispered, eye's wide with fear. I was at her side now

"Take your hands off her" I said coldly.

I could see two more wolves behind Jacob now, they both growled at me, thinking I was here to start a fight. Seth came up behind me.

"Jake, bro, back away" He urged "You're losing it"

Jacob was frozen, eyes wide, staring straight ahead. He couldn't decide whether he was angry with me for possibly putting Bella's life in danger just to satisfy my own lust, or if he was just terribly overcome with jealousy because I got to do with Bella what he's been dreaming about doing with her for months. Now it was my turn to get angry as a vision her them together, in a romantic embrace filled his thoughts.

"You'll hurt her" Seth whispered "Let her go"

"Now!" I snarled, finding it hard to keep my voice down.

Jacob let her go and I immediately grabbed her and pulled her back 6 or 7 feet from the place she was just standing. I took a protective stance in front of her in case Jacob phased or tried anything else. Sam and Quil put themselves in between me and Jacob, trying to prevent a fight. Seth began pulling on Jacob, trying to get him to leave.

"C'mon, Jake. Let's go" He said

"I'll kill you" Jacob hissed at me, full of rage. "I'll kill you myself! I'll do it now!" He was shuddering. He was losing it, and Seth was too close to him.

"Seth, get out of the way!" I whispered . Seth tugged on Jacob, obviously ignoring my warning.

"Don't do it, Jake. Walk away, C'mon"

The big black wolf, Sam, helped Seth now, putting his head on Jacob's chest and shoved him backwards. They managed to push him back and disappear into the darkness. Quil remained behind, looking at Bella.

"I'm sorry" She whispered to the wolf.

"It's alright now, Bella" I whispered while putting my arms around her.

The big chocolate brown wolf looked at me, his face was not friendly. _We'll be keeping an eye on you... and your biting habits _He thought, angry with me for what had just happened. I gave him a nod and he ran off in the direction his pack had just taken. I didn't have time to think about what was going to happen to the treaty when I finally changed Bella.

"Alright" I said to myself, then looked at Bella "Let's go back."

"But Jake-" she whispered

"Sam has him in hand. He's gone"

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I was stupid-" She was blaming herself for this. _Just like Bella, _I thought_ Always taking the blame when it's others fault._

"You did nothing wrong-" I replied, trying to calm her.

"I have such a big mouth! Why would I... I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. What was I thinking?"

"Don't worry, "I said softly, touching her face to try and calm her "We need to go back before someone notices our absence"

"Give me two seconds" Bella pleaded. "My dress?" She asked me shortly after.

"You look fine" I reassured her. "Not a hair out of place." She took two big breaths.

"Ok, let's go" she said.

I put my arms around her and led her back to our reception. We passed under the light of the dance floor, I spun her around, and we followed the flow of the dancers. Emmett and Jasper were still by the edge of the dance floor, slightly on edge. The rest of the family split off after the confrontation so as not to look suspicious. I quickly scanned the minds of our human guests, relieved that none of them had seen anything. I looked down at Bella, who was taking in her surroundings, obviously still shaken.

"Are you-" I started to ask

"I'm fine." She interrupted "I can't believe I did that. What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you." I said, trying to keep my anger down.

"It's over" she said, looking into my eyes. "Let's not think of it again tonight"

I should have just agreed with her, but I was too busy thinking about was Jacob had said, and thought. He was right. I was an idiot for even thing about taking her life into my hands like that.

"Edward?" I heard her ask. I closed my eyes and leaned down until our foreheads were touching.

"Jacob is right" I whispered "What am I thinking?"

"He is not." Bella said calmly "Jake is way to prejudiced to see anything clearly" I mumbled something quietly, hoping Bella wouldn't hear.

"Stop it" She said, this time not so calmly. I guess she'd heard me after all. She grabbed my face with her hands and wait for me to open my eyes before saying "You and me. That's the only thing that matters. The only thing you're allowed to think about now. Do you hear me?"

"Yes" I sighed.

"Forget Jacob came" She said "For me. Promise that you'll let this go."

I stared at her for a minute, grateful that she could be so levelheaded and demanding sometimes. Maybe she was right...

"I promise"

"Thank you. Edward, I'm not afraid"

"I am" I whispered. _Terrified. _I thought.

"Don't be." She said, took a deep breath and smiled at me "By the way, I love you" I gave her a little smirk.

"That's why we're here."

"You're monopolizing the bride" Emmett said, coming up behind me. I had been concentrating on our conversation so much, that I hadn't even heard him walk up behind me. "Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." He laughed loudly at the thought of Bella blushing. Emmett got his dance, and so did several other's, and it was several dances later, until I was able to claim my bride again. She smiled and laid her head down on my chest. I tightened my arms around her

"I could get used to this" She said

"Don't tell me you're gotten over your dancing issues?"

"Dancing isn't so bad - with you. But I was thinking more of this, of never having to let you go."

"Never" I promised, as I leaned down to kiss her. Her words ignited a fire in me, and I kissed her with such intensity that I should probably be embarrassed to do so in front of a crowd of people.

"Bella! It's time!" I heard Alice call excited. I ignored her, and kept my lips on Bella's, my kisses growing more urgent with each passing second. "Do you want to miss your plane?" Alice demanded, right next to us "I'm sure you're have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight." I turned my face slightly

"Go away Alice" I said and then pressed my lips firmly to Bella's again

"Bella, do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" She demanded. Bella didn't seem to care what she wore on the plane, she just wanted to continue this kiss as much as I did. I heard Alice growl, "I'll tell her where you're taking her, Edward. So help me, I will"

I froze. _Bingo! _thought Alice. I pulled back and glared at my sister. "you're awfully small to be hugely irritating." I said, annoyed.

"I didn't pick out the prefect going away outfit only to have it wasted" She snapped at me, and grabbed Bella's hand "Come with me, Bella" Bella resisted for a moment, getting up on her toes to kiss me one more time. Alice jerked her away and the crowd laughed. I walked over to Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle, who were standing together with amused expressions on their faces.

"Your wife just ruined a perfectly good kiss to play dress up!" I said to Jasper. He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, then took off to get the car that would take us to the airport. I went inside to change and wait for Bella at the bottom of the stairs. She came down in a deep blue outfit. I had to hand it to Alice, she knew exactly what I liked. Bella looked even better in this outfit than she did in her wedding dress. The blue set off the colour of her skin perfectly, with her dark brown hair wavy from the braids and cascading down her back, so looked so appealing that I was having a hard time keeping the dirty thoughts out of my head. She came down the stairs and was looking around

"Dad?" She asked

"Over here" I said, pulling her through the crowd towards her dad.

"Oh, Dad!" Bella said emotionally and hugged him around the waist. Her tears streamed down her face, while Charlie patted her back.

"There now," He said " You don't want to miss your plane."

"I love you forever, Dad" She told him "Don't forget that."

"You, too, Bells. Always have, always will. Call me"

"Soon" She promised.

"Go on, then" he said "Don't want to be late" The guests moved away again, and let us get through.

"Are you ready?" I asked her

"I am"

I leaned down and kissed her on the doorstop and then we ran to the car while the rice rained down on us from our guests. Alice had decorated the car with more flowers, streamers and designer shoes hanging from the bumper. We got into the car and I sped away.

"I love you" I said taking a hold of her hand.

"That's why we're here" she quoted me.

I leaned over and kissed her hair, and that's when I heard it. A piercing heartbroken howl. I wasn't sure if Bella had heard it or not, and I decided not to say anything. I had promised Bella no more Jacob talk today, and I would stick to it.


	5. The honeymoon

**AN- Wow! This one took a long time to write! I hope you enjoy it.**

**Chapter 5**

"Houston?" Bella asked, curiously raising her eyebrows when we arrived at our gate at the airpot in Seattle.

"Just a stop along the way" I assured her, amused at the annoyed looked on her face. I knew she didn't like surprises, but I wanted to keep Isle Esme a secret until we got there.

Bella fell asleep on the way to Houston. I took this opportunity to reflect on our perfect wedding day, and to watch Bella sleep. I wouldn't get that many more chances to watch her sleep, I had to take full advantage now.

"I'm going to go _talk _to him" I heard a flight attendant whisper suggestively, "It's the perfect time, everyone else is asleep" I looked around the cabin and noticed that I was indeed the only one awake.

"Sarah, he's with his wife!" The other attendant replied.

"I don't care, she's sleeping!" The one named Sarah shot back over her shoulder as she walked towards me. "Can I get you anything? A pillow, blanket, my phone number?" She asked, with more confidence than I would've thought. She must be used to getting her way, not to mention anything or anyone she wants.

"Actually another blanket for my wife would be just fantastic, thank you" I said curtly, not taking my eyes off Bella. I tried to ignore the dirty thoughts pouring through her mind.

"Sure" She replied, slightly taken aback. _I can't believe he completely ignored that I offered him my number! I've NEVER been shot down, EVER. He didn't even look at me! What the hell is so special about that wife of his, she's awfully plain, especially compared to him. _I sighed, listening to her thoughts were a lot like listening to Rosalie's.

"How'd it go?" The second attendant asked

"Don't ask" Sarah grumbled, grabbing a blanket.

We finally arrived in Houston, and though I was glad to be rid of the flirty attendant, I hated to wake Bella. She looked so peaceful, curled up in her seat with two blankets, her hair a complete mess around her head. I smiled to myself and then leaned over to whisper in her ear "Wake up, Love, we're here"

We exited the plane, and headed to another terminal to catch our flight to Rio. I pulled along a sleepy Bella as fast as I could, so we wouldn't miss our connecting flight.

"Rio De Janeiro?" She asked when we got to the gate, sounding slightly frightened.

"Another stop, I assured her, wondering what it was about Rio that would cause that reaction, especially considering she was on a honeymoon with her vampire husband. We boarded our plane, Bella got comfortable, and feel asleep again. I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep as well. Bella woke just as we were circling the airport in Rio. We exited the plane and once we were out of the airport I signaled a taxi. In fluent Portuguese, I told the driver to take us to the docks. When we arrived, I grabbed our bags and led Bella to Carlisle's boat. I jumped into the boat, dropped the bags, and then lifted Bella into the boat. I prepared the boat quickly and set off into the cool dark water. We had been speeding through the water for a while, when Bella suddenly asked "Are we going much father?"

"About another half and hour" I said and glanced over at Bella. Her hands were clenching the seat, and I grinned at her fear of speeding. She would have to get used to speed after she became a vampire. We sped along in silence for 20 more minutes and finally Isle Esme would be visible to her human eyes.

"Bella," I called to her, while I pointed straight ahead. "look over there"

Bella squinted, looking ahead, she was searching, looking for the island I could see clearly. That beautiful, deserted island, where Bella and I could spend our honeymoon alone, and undisturbed. I noticed her eyes lock on the island and finally start to focus on the dark piece of land on the horizon.

"Where are we?" She whispered so low no human ears could've heard over the roar of the engine. I grinned, glad I could finally let her in on the secret and reveal the location of our honeymoon.

"This is Isle Esme" I said as I slowed the boat, and maneuvered it beside the dock.

"Isle _Esme?_" Bella asked, shocked.

"A gift from Carlisle," I explained "Esme offered to let us borrow it." Bella frowned and looked deep in thought. I was suddenly nervous. Was she afraid to be here all alone with me? Was she having second thoughts? I decided to ignore my fears and live in the moment. I was here, alone with my beautiful wife, on this perfect island, it was not a time for silly fears.

I picked up the suitcases and placed them on the dock, then I turned for Bella. She held her hand out to me, but instead of taking it, I scooped her up into my arms with a big grin.

"Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" She asked, slightly amused

"I'm nothing if not thorough" I grinned wider. I picked up both suitcases with my free hand carried Bella up the beach to the house. I could hear Bella's heartbeat pick up when the house became visible. I looked down at her, but her eyes remained locked on the house. Why was her heart beating so fast? Was she nervous? Was she getting impatient and her hormones were taking over? If I had ever wished I could read her mind for just one moment, this moment would be it. I reached the porch and set our bags down so I could open the doors. I looked down at Bella, and waited for her to look up at me before I walked over the threshold. I glided quickly through the house, flipping on lights as I went, to make Bella feel more at home. It had been many years since I'd been in this house, it was nice to see Esme had done some redecorating, no doubt for us, I had known she was planning on redoing the master suite for our little vacation, but it looked as though she'd gotten a little carried away. I reached the back room, the master suite, and I paused turning on the lights. Esme had out done herself. The room was spectacular. I set Bella on her feet in the middle of the room. I was getting nervous now and I needed to excuse myself for a minute.

"I'll...go get the luggage" I said slowly and left the room. _Calm down, Edward. _I told myself. I was no longer nervous about just losing control and hurting Bella, I was starting to get nervous about the actual act itself. Was I really starting to doubt my ability as a lover? I sighed, and picked up our bags. That was silly, why was I doubting myself? Bella and I loved each other, surely a love that strong would easily translate itself physically. Afterall, we've had many _practice sessions _ and those were...ummm..._pleasant _experiences, I grinned to myself.

I reentered the room silently, setting the bags down and moving across the floor to where Bella was standing with her back to me. I noticed a bead of perspiration slid down the back of her neck and I wiped it away with my finger. Bella jumped slightly.

"It's a little hot here" I explained "I thought....that would be best"

"Thorough" She murmured and I chuckled, nervously.

"I tried to think of everything that would make this...easier" I admitted. Bella swallowed loudly. She was nervous, we needed something to calm us both down. "I was wondering" I started" if....first....maybe you'd like to take a midnight swim with me?" I took a death breath, trying to ease my voice "The water will be warm. This is the kind of beach you approve of."

"Sounds nice." Bella replied, her voice sounding a little more strained than usual.

"I'm sure you'd like a human minute or two...It was a long journey" Bella nodded and I leaned in to kiss her neck in my favourite spot, just below her jaw bone near her ear. I chuckled to myself that this would be my favourite place to kiss her, since it tended to also be the favourite place for non-vegetarian vampires to bite their victims. "Don't take _too _long, Mrs. Cullen." I breathed into her neck. I moved my lips down her neck and across her shoulder. I _must _ leave now, or we won't make it to the water... "I'll wait for you in the water."

I walked past her and out the double french doors that led down to the beach. Before I left the room I slipped my shirt off and dropped it on the floor. I slipped off the rest of my clothes silently at the water's edge and draped them neatly over a tree branch. I entered the water noiselessly and dove under the surface with barely a ripple. I swam out several miles, then turned around and headed back, slower than I had raced out. When I broke the surface, I heard the sound of the shower coming from the house. I could feel the familiar flare of fire deep down in my stomach, my wife was in the house, just a few yards away, naked. My lust for her was starting to take over and my nervousness was fading. The shower stopped and I knew Bella would be out here soon. I stayed near the the shore and above the surface of the water, so Bella could find me when she finally came out. I stood facing the ocean, looking up at the moon. I figured Bella would be more comfortable slipping out of her towel and into the water, if I weren't watching her. She walked across the beach quietly and slipped into the water, walking up behind me and placing her hand over mine that I had rested on the waters edge.

"Beautiful" She said, following my gaze.

"It's all right," I answered, unimpressed with the sight. I turned around slowly to take in the sight of my naked wife standing in the the water with me. I had never appreciated my vampire vision more that at this very moment. I intertwined my hands with hers under the water and continued my thought... "but I wouldn't call it beautiful, not with you here in comparison" Bella smiled, and raised her free arm and placed it over my heart. My body shuddered and that fire in my stomach flared once more, along with it my fear rose as well.

"I promised we would _try,_" I whispered "If...if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once" Bella nodded, not taking her eyes away from mine. She took another step towards me and bent her head down to my chest.

"Don't be afraid" She begged quietly "We belong together"

I was taken aback at the confidence in her voice. She truely believed that nothing could go wrong tonight, and her confidence was starting to build my confidence.

"Forever" I agreed, and pulled her into deeper water.

It was late morning and Bella was still sleeping. I just laid in bed with her, holding her in my arms, happy that the extreme heat of the island made this possible. I let my memories of the previous night overwhelm me. I was ecstatic that we were so compatible physically. The pillows didn't fare well, but that doesn't matter right now, Bella was safe, she was alive and she was unharmed. I have never been happier in my entire life. With a large smile of my face I looked down at Bella, who was mumbling in her sleep. She rolled over and kicked the light blanket off. That's when I noticed the light purple spots appearing on the surface of her skin. _What are those? _I thought to myself. I checked them out and realized they were bruises, my smile quickly faded when I realized that not only were their bruises all over Bella's body, but the shape of them were handprints - my handprints!

I slipped my arms out from under Bella and rolled over onto my back, staring at the ceiling. What have I done? I _knew _this was a bad idea. I hurt her last night, _really _hurt her. I never should have agreed to such a thing. This can't happen again, this won't happen again until she is turned. Bella rolled over, and pulled herself across my chest. She was starting to stir, and I was getting very nervous. How sore is she, how much had I hurt her? Will she hate me? Needing to get in a few more minutes of piece and togetherness before it all fell apart, I starting to lightly run my fingers up and down Bella's spine. I knew she was awake now, but I was hoping she'd stay like this for just a little while longer. She giggled under her breath, breaking me out of my trance.

"What's funny?" I asked, seriously. I couldn't believe she'd be laughing at a time like this. I heard her stomach growl, and she laughed again.

"You just can't escape being human human for very long" She replied with a smile on her face. I didn't laugh with her, I was still too angry at myself.

Bella laid across me for a minute and then looked up at me. She studied my grave face for a minute and then spoke.

"Edward," She said, a funny sound to her voice this morning "what is it? What's wrong?" _What's wrong?,_ I thought

"You have to ask?" I instantly felt bad for the harsh tone I took with my wife, after all, it should be _she_ taking the harsh tone with me this morning. I looked down at her and she was deep in thought, worry lines littered her forehead. I attempted to smoothe them out with my finger and asked her, in a gentler tone, "What are you thinking?" Did I really want to know this?

"You're upset," She answered "I don't understand. Did I...?" Bella didn't finish her question

I closed my eyes and asked the question I didn't want to ask "How badly are you hurt, Bella? The truth - don't try to downplay it."

"Hurt?" she asked, sounding confused. Why did she sound confused? Surely she must know what I had done to her last night. Why didn't she _stop _me last night? I opened one eye to look at her, I just couldn't face looking at her straight on right now.

"Why would you jump to that conclusion?" She asked "I've never been better than I am now." I closed my eyes when she said this. She was doing it again, sacrificing herself and her own happiness and well-being for others.

"Stop that" I said quielty

"Stop _what_?"

"Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this."

"Edward!" She said quietly, but she was clearly getting upset. "Don't ever say that."

"Look at yourself Bella, then tell me I'm not a monster."

Bella let out a small gasp, several seconds later. There it was, she saw them, and now knew what a monster I really am.

"Why am I covered in feathers?" She asked, sounding confused. Why was she worrying about the feathers at a time like this, I thought impatiently.

"I bit a pillow. Or two. That not what I'm talking about."

"You...bit a pillow? _why?_" She asked, sounding curious and really confused. I was getting impatient with her stalling

"Look, Bella!" I almost growled. I took her arm as carefully as I could and stretched it out so she could see what I had done to her. "Look at _that._"

Bella looked down at her arm, looking confused at first and then her eyes widened when she realized she had bruises all over her body. I lightly placed my hands over one of the bruises, so she would fully realize that _I _had caused those bruises, just with my touch.

"Oh."

"I'm...so sorry, Bella" I whispered "I knew better than this. I should not have -" I was desperately trying to hold back sobs " I am more sorry that I can tell you." The sobs were nearly breaking free, I needed to keep them away. I put my arm over my face and laid still, trying to calm myself. Bella was quiet for a long while. Thinking about how she felt about all this I suppose.

"Edward." She said quietly, several minutes later. I couldn't say anything, I was still trying to hold back my sobs. "Edward?" She asked, while trying to move my hand from my face. "I'm not sorry, Edward. I'm... I can't even tell you. I'm so happy. That doesn't cover it. Don't be angry. Don't. I'm really f-" Was she seriously going to say she's _fine?_

"Do not say the word _fine._" I responded, still ingulfed in my misery. "If you value my sanity, do not say that you are fine."

"But I _am_," She whispered.

"Bella. Don't"

"No, _you_ don't, Edward." She said, getting angry. I removed my arm from my face and looked at her warily. "Don't ruin this. I Am. Happy."

"I've already ruined this." I whispered, hoping it was quiet enough she wouldn't hear.

"Cut it out," she snapped at me. I clenched my jaw together loudly, trying to keep myself from saying something stupid. "Ugh!" She groaned "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so _inconvenient _to be a mental mute!"

Did she really just say that? She wishes I could read her mind? My eyes widened and this new revelation distracted me from my self-loathing for a minute. "That's a new one" I said "You love that I can't read your mind.

"Not today." Not today?

"Why?" I asked, curious. She threw her arms up and smacked me on the chest when she brought them down.

"Because all this angst would be completely unneccessary if you could see you I feel right now! Or five minutes ago, anyway. I _was_ perfectly happy. Totally and completely blissed out. Now - well, I'm sort of pissed, actually."

Good, I thought "You _should_ be angry at me"

"Well, I am. Does that make you feel better?"

I sighed "No, I don't think anything could make me feel better now."

"_That._" She snapped "That right there is why I'm angry. You are _killing my buzz, _Edward."

I rolled my eyes. What was she talking about? How could she possiblity be _buzzing _after I obviously hurt her last night. Bella propped herself up, and said in a new, soothing tone, "We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then - well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing. I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice -"

I was starting to get really angry at what she was saying, livid.

"Assumed? Did you _expect_ this, Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you conisder the experiment a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones - that equals a victory?" Once I had it all out, I started to calm down. I could tell Bella was waiting for me to return to naormal before continuing.

"I did know what to expect - but I definately did not expect how...how...just wonderful and perfect it was. He gaze fell from my face, to her hands, and she looked slightly embarrased. "I mean, I don't know how it was for you, but it was like that for me." If I had been in a better mood, this would've made me chuckle. After everything thing that I had done to her, she was only worried that I thought it was _good?_

"Is that was you're worried about? that I didn't _enjoy_ myself?"

"I know it's not the same. You're not human. I just was trying to explain that, for a human, well, I can't imagine that life gets any better than that."

I remained qieut for a while, pondering what she had just said. Bella looked up at me, anxiously waiting for me to say something.

"It seems I have more to aplogize for." I frowned. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't...well, the best night of my existence. But I didn't want to think of it that way, not when you were..."

Bella's lips curled up into a small smile. "Really? The best ever?" She asked, looking for reassurance.

I took her face into my hands, and continued on. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I mad our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course, he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you. He had faith in me - faith I didn't deserve."

Bella opened her mouth, I assume to protest that statement, so I slid my fingers over her mouth so I could continue my story. "I also asked him what I should expect. I didn't know what it would be for me...what with my being a vampire." I gave a little smile "Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thingg, like nothing else. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. With our rarely changing temperaments, strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But he said I did not need to worry about that part - you had already altered me so completely." I smiled at her again, this time it truly was a smile of love and reassurance. "I spoke to my brothers too. They told me it was a very great pleasure. Second only to drinking human blood." My brow furrowed at the thought I had next "But I've tasted your blood, and could be no blood more potent than _that_...I don't think they were wrong, really. Just that it was different for us. Something more.

"It _was _more. It was everything."

"That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way."

"That does _that_ mean?" She asked, looking offended. "Do you think I'm making this up? Why?"

"To ease my guilt." I admitted "I can't ignore the evidence, Bella. Or your history of letting me off the hook when I make mistakes."

Bella grabbed my chin, and pulled her face close, only inches away as if to kiss me. "You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. _I've _never been so happy in all my life - I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me... Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio, or when you said 'I do' and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better that any of it. So just deal with it."

Bella was starting to get a frown line on her brow, and I realized I was really upsetting her. "I'm making you unhappy now. I don't want to do that."

"Then don't you be unhappy." She responded. "That the only thing that's wrong here."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. She was right, I was ruining this morning for her. "You're right" I gave in "The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy now." She looked at me, suspiciously, so I gave her a genuine smile to ease her suspicions.

"Whatever makes me happy?" She asked, while her stomach growled.

"You're hungry" I said, a statement more than a question. I shot out of bed, determined to make Bella some breakfast.

"So, Why exactly did you decide to ruin Esme's pillows?" She asked suddenly, shaking feathers out of her hair.

"I don't know if I _ decided _to do anything last night," I muttered "We're just lucky it was the pillows and not you." I inhaled deeply, shocked at myself for saying such a thing out loud.

Bella got out of bed and stretched. I looked over her naked body and was more aware now as to the extent of bruises on her, than I had been when she was in bed. I gasped at the sight of what I had done to her body. She was a patchwork of blue and purple bruises, her lips were swollen and the had a bruise across one of her cheeks. I turned away from her, absolutely revolted with myself for causing her such harm.

"Do I look that hideous?" She asked lightly. My breath caught as I held back a single sob. I couldn't answer her, or turn to face her right now. Not when I was in this state. She walked across the room to the en suite, I guess to check herself out in the mirror. I heard her groan and I ran into the bathroom as quick as I could.

"Bella?" I asked.

"I'll never get this all out of my hair!" she frowned and starting plucking feathers.

"You would be worried about your hair" I mumbled and started helping her pull feathers out of her hair.

"How do you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous." She said. I didn't answer her. I didn't have an answer for her. I was simply not in the mood to find anything funny right now.

"This isn't going to work" she said. "It's all dried in. I'm going to have to try to wash it out." She turned around and suggestively wrapped her arms around my waist. "Do you want to help me?"

"I'd better find you some food" I said as I unwound her arms, and slipped out of the bathroom. I think I was going to have to make it clear to my wife that we could no longer have that kind of honeymoon. I was going to have to come up with activities to keep her busy.

I looked into the fridge to see what we had for Bella to eat. I knew we'd have more than enough. I had the cleaners stock the fridge with food last time they were here. I decided on an omelet, and grabbed the bacon, cheese and eggs off the middle shelf. I started to feel more myself while I cooked breakfast. Bella came out of the shower just as I was sliding the omelet onto a plate for her.

"Here" I said with a smile and set the food down on our small kitchen table. She sat down and immediately started shoveling food into her mouth, not waiting for the eggs to cool. Hmmmm, I thought...

"I'm not feeding you often enough." I said

"I was asleep. This is really good by the way. Impressive for someone who doesn't eat."

"Food network" I answered, flashing her a smile.

"Where did the eggs come from?" She asked.

"I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. A first, for this place. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers..."

Bella ate everything on her plate and thanked me, leaning across the table for a kiss. I kissed her automatically, but as soon as I felt that familiar fire I stiffened and pulled back.

"You aren't going to touch me again while we're here, are you?" she accused. I hesitated, but put my hand to her face and stroked it gently, the same way I did outside the gym that first day I touched her. "You know that's not what I meant" she said.

I sighed and let my hand fall. "I know, and you're right. I will not make love with you again until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again."


	6. Distractions

**AN - Here's Chapter 6. I'm hoping to have chapter 7 up soon. I've already started it and I'm having fun exploring Edwards reaction to the pregnancy. This chapter has ALOT of talking in it, so I didn't dwell on Edward's thoughts too much in this one, I didn't want it to drag too much. I promise the next chapter and the pregnancy ones will have alot more of Edward's internal battle and more mind reading, so more insight into his families reactions and thoughts to the pregnancy. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer. I am not SM, and I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I'm just borrowing them for my own fun. All dialogue has been copied from "Breaking Dawn".**

Chapter 6

Bella's entertainment became my number one priority. Since we couldn't have the kind of honeymoon she wanted, I wanted to at least make it a fun one. I wasn't about to let her mope in front of the tv, watching a movie, she needed to experience the island. Not to mention, it was easier if she was tired at the end of the day, so our arguments about the no-sex-until-you're-changed rule were easier. She tried every tactic, but when it came down to it, she was just too tired to put up a good fight, and I always won. There was no way I was going to put her in that kind of danger again, and risk hurting her.

One night, after about of week of being there, Bella went to get ready for bed, and came out of the blue room wearing beautiful ivory satin lingerie._ Aha_, I thought, _she's resorting to lingerie now. This is going to get tough. _I acted cooly as she walked through the house, but the lust inside me was almost out of control. I started to worry that if she continued to parade herself around in french lingerie, I wouldn't be able to resist her advances. I have never seen her look more beautiful and appealing. I barely managed to resist the temptation, and got her to sleep without too much pouting.

The next night she was in the bathroom getting ready for bed again, and I was laying in the bed hoping that Alice hadn't packed many more lacy things in Bella's bag, or at least if she had, they were in line with Bella's personality and all tasteful and not too..._showy. _Just as I was finishing that thought, Bella came out of the bathroom in something very black, very lacy and very...revealing. I have never seen anything like it, and never would've thought my Bella could wear such a thing. She looked amazing, my lust for her body was overpowering me. My eyes popped out of my head and when I saw the little smirk spread across her lips, I composed myself, remembering she was just trying to seduce me.

"What do you think?" She asked, while giving a little twirl. _What do I think?_ Oh, if I only I could _show_ her what I thought!

I cleared my throat, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible. "You look beautiful. You always do."

"Thanks" She answered, a bit sourly.

She climbed into bed, and I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her close. The Island was too hot for her to sleep without the aid of my cold body against her. Today, though, in that black thing, it was really hard to pull her into my arms and resist her.

"I'll make you a deal." She said, quietly. I knew what she was referring to immediately. No.

"I will not make any deals with you,"

"You haven't even heard what I'm offering." She said, sounding smug.

"It doesn't matter."

She sighed. "Dang it. And I really wanted...Oh well."

I rolled my eyes. She was trying to bait me. She yawned and closed her eyes. Obviously she wasn't going to finish that sentence without me asking, and I was starting to get curious now.

"All right" I said "What is it you want?"

"Well, I was thinking... I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly one semester of College probably wouldn't kill me. Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. Still... eighteen, nineteen. It's really not such a big difference. It's not like I'm going to get crow's feet in the next year."

She was offering the one thing I wanted most, and the one thing I wanted the least at the same time. I wanted her to keep her humanity, but I wanted her to be one of us. More than anything now. I wasn't sure how to feel about this offer. I really wanted her to experience college, the proper way, but she was asking for something in return that I just couldn't do again . "You would wait. You would stay human." I said quietly, to know one in particular. Bella said nothing, sensing that I was just thinking out loud. Ugh, how could she put me in this position? Give me such a tempting offer. I was starting to get alittle angry at the situation.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked "Isn't it hard enough without all this?" I grabbed a handfull of Bella's lingerie, hating it and loving it at the same time. I briefly thought about ripping it off of her in anger, but realized just in time, that ripping it off would just make denying her harder for me. If I thought it was hard seeing her try to seduce me in lingerie, than seeing her try to seduce me _naked_ would send me over the edge. I relaxed, my common sense coming back to me again, "It doesn't matter" I said. "I won't make any deals with you"

"I want to go to college"

"No, you don't. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. That's worth hurting you."

"But I _do _want to go. Well, it's not college as much as it's that I want - I want to be human a little while longer."

What was she saying? "You are making me insane, Bella. Haven't we had this argument a million times, you always begging to be a vampire without delay?"

"Yes, but..well, I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before."

"What's that?" I asked curious. What could possibly be more inticing to her than turning into a vampire?

"Guess." She said, pulling herself up off her pillow and wrapping her arms around me, kissing me. I kissed her back, careful not to lead her on. I knew what she was thinking, even if I couldn't read her mind, and I had to be careful. I didn't want to cross a line with her, but I also didn't want to hurt her feelings. After a minute I pulled away and cradled her against my chest. Typical Bella, letting her hormones get away from her again.

"You are _so_ human, Bella. Ruled by your hormones." I chuckled.

"That's the whole point, Edward." Bella shot back. "I _like_ this part of being human. I don't want to give up yet. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood crazed newborn for some part of this to come back to me." She looked up at me and yawned, and I smiled in return.

"You're tired. Sleep, love." I started to hum Bella's lullaby hoping it would soothe her to sleep quickly.

"For as tired as I've been, you'd think I'd sleep better." She said quietly, nestled against my chest. This comment halted me immediately. She had been sleeping so well while we've been here! What could she possibly mean?

"you've been sleeping like the dead, Bella. You haven't said a word in your sleep since we got here. It it weren't for the snoring, I'd worry you were slipping into a coma."

"I haven't been tossing?" She asked, confused. "That's weird. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. And shouting."

"You've been having nightmares?" I asked, shocked. She had been so still and looked so peaceful at night.

She nodded her head. "Vivid ones. They make me so tired." She yawned. "I can't belive I haven't been babbling about them all night."

"What are they about?"

"Different things - but the same, you know, because of the colours."

"Colours?

"It's all so bright and real. Usually, when I'm dreaming, I know I am. With these, I don't know I'm alseep. It makes them scarier." I didn't like hearing that Bella was having these terrifying and very vivid nightmares. It was making me extremely anxious.

"What is frightening you?" I aksed, trying to keep my vioce calm and steady, and failing miserably.

"Mostly..." She shudderred and trailed off.

"Mostly?" She paused for a moment at my question, I guess trying to decided whether to tell me or not and then whispered "The Volturi" I understood now, and hugged her tighter to comfort her.

"They aren't going to bother us anymore. You'll be immortal soon, and they'll have no reason."

I looked down at Bella after a moment, and saw the look of fear and desperation in her face. "What can I do to help?" I asked

Bella shook her head. "They're just dreams, Edward."

"Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away."

"They're not all bad." Bella answered, half asleep. "Some are nice. SO...colourful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It seems like it's really happening - I don't know that I'm dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It's really _bright_ here."

"Do you want to go home?"

"No, no, not yet. Can't we stay awhile longer?"

"We can stay as long as you want, Bella." I promised.

"When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before." That was the last thing Bella could say before slipping into sleep. I quielty starting humming her lullaby again, hoping it would keep any dreams about the Volturi away tonight.

Bella slept peacefully for many hours. I tortured myself by playing with the lace of her lingerie. Tracing my fingers around the lace and satin where it hugged her curves and revealed just enough skin. I watched the goosebumps raise slowly where my icy fingers made contact with her skin. For the first time in my life I wished that Bella was a vampire, so I could rip the lace from her body and satisfy the urges that were racing through my body. I was pulled out of my daydream by a gasp coming from Bella.

"Bella?" I asked, tightening my arms around her protectively "Are you all right, sweetheat?"

"Oh." She gasped again. Tears started streaming down her face.

"Bella!" I said, this time more urgently "What's wrong?" I asked, as I wiped tears from her cheeks.

"It was only a dream." she said, finally getting a full understanding of where she was. She let out a little sob and a fresh batch of tears fell from her eyes.

"It's ok, Love" I said quietly, rubbing circles aon her back to try and soothe her. "You're fine, I'm here. Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real, it wasn't real."

"Not a nightmare." She finally said. "It was a _good _dream." Her voice broke again as if she was going to start crying again, and I was utterly confused.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I woke up," She cried, wrapping her arms around me and sobbing into my neck.

"Everything's alright, Bella. Take deep breaths."

"It was so real, " She continued to sob into my neck. "I _wanted _it to be real."

"Tell be about it" I urged, "Maybe that will help."

"We were on the beach..." She started, but pulled back to look at my face.

"And?"

"Oh Edward..." She cried softly, pain obvious in her voice.

"Tell me Bella." I pleaded, not knowing how much longer I could stand the suspense. She looked at me, and then threw her arms around me and kissed me intensly. For a brief instant I followed along, but then came to my senses, and pulled back.

"No, Bella" I insisted. Had she lost her mind? I _couldn't_ do this. She began to cry again, and I instantly felt horrible. It wasn't a great feeling, having to constatly turn down your wife. I want more than anything to be able to do what she was asking of me, what any other husband on earth could do with their wives. I _couldn't_ put her in danger again, it would be too selfish of me.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry" She mummbled quietly.

I pulled her up onto my lap, hugging her to my chest. If only she could read my mind, if only she knew how much it pained me to say no to her, how hard it was for _me_ to deny my own urges. "I can't, Bella. I can't!" I moaned

"Please," She said, pushing her face into my chest "Please, Edward?" I couldn't stand to hear her beg me. It was the last straw that pushed me over the edge, and I gave into my desires. I pulled her lips up to mine and slowly lifted her up placing her on the bed. I began to carress the lace of her night gown again, starting up where my daydream had left off.

I laid in bed, with my hands behind my head and Bella laying across my chest. I allowed the euphoria I was feeling to wash over me. This time we had succeeded, we truely were compatible physically. I had managed to keep my self control and hadn't hurt Bella at all, although the same coudn't be said for her nightgown or the poor bed. I was going to have to pay to have the place fixed up and appologise profusely to Esme when we returned.

I felt Bella move ever so slightly and ask in a small voice "How much trouble am I in?"

"Heaps" I said, turning my head to look at her, with a smirk on my face.

"I _am _sorry." She said "I didn't mean... Well, I don't know exactly what that _was_ last night." She shook her head, a look of grief washing over her face. I wanted to change the subject, so she would know I wasn't angry, and there was no need to appologise. It occured to me she still hadn't told me what her dream was...

"You never did tell me what your dream was about," I said, half jokingly and half honestly curious.

"I guess I didn't - but I sort of _showed _you what it was about." She giggled, nervously.

"Oh." I said, my eyes widening with the realization that Bella had been having a sex dream. "Interesting" I said, trying to hold back a grin.

"It was a very good dream," She muttered, blushing. "Am I forgiven?"

"I'm thinking about it" I said, trying to sound serious.

Bella sat up quickly, and then swayed and feel back against the bed. "Whoa...head rush."

I wrapped my arms around her, to steady her. "you slept for a long time. Twelve hours."

"_Twelve?"_ she asked, sounding shocked. She started to check herself for bruises, trying to be inconsipcuous about it.

"Is the inventory complete?"

She nooded "The pillows all appear to have survived" She added

"Unfortunately, I can't say the same for your, er, nightgown." I nodded towards the shreds of lace at the end of the bed.

"That's too bad," She said "I liked that one."

"I did, too" I said, recalling a memory of Bella wearing it the night before.

"Were there any other casualties?" She asked timidly

"I'll have to buy Esme a new bedframe" I glanced over my shoulder at the large gauge marks I took out of the frame of the bed, and Bella followed my gaze.

"Hmmm." She frowned "You'd think I would've heard that"

"You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved." I said, still having trouble keeping my voice steady and even, instead of letting the chuckle out that was lingering in my throat.

"I was a bit absorbed," She admitted, blushing a deep red.

I sighed "I'm really going to miss that."

Bella stared at me, trying to read my expression. "How are _you _feeling?" She finally asked timidly. That was it for me, I couldn't contain it any longer and the laugh escaped my lips. "What?" She demanded.

"You look so guilty," I chuckled "Like you've commited a crime."

"I _feel_ guilty."

"So you sedced your all-too-willing husband. That's not a capitol offense." I teased.

Bella blushed an even deeper shade of red "The word _seduced_ implies a certain amount of premeditation."

"Maybe that was the wrong word."

"You're not angry?" She asked sounding surprised.

I smiled back at her "I'm not angry."

"Why not?"

"Well... I didn't hurt you, for one thing. It was easier this time, to control myself, to channel the excesses." I quickely looked to the damaged bed frame as I said that. "Maybe because I had a better idea of what to expect."

A smile spread across Bella's face. "I _ told _you that it was all about practise." I rolled my eyes, not wanting to admit out loud that Bella was right. Her stomach growled and I laughed.

"Breakfast time for the human?"

"Please" She said, as she hoped out of bed and lost her balance. I managed to catch her before she fell over into the dresser.

"Are you all right?"

"If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life, I'm demading a refund." She joked.

Bella got dressed and I pulled on a pair of beige shorts, and we headed into the kitchen. Bella immediately headed to the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs and a frying pan from the cupboard. I sat down in a chair at the little table in the kitchen and watched her cook. She broke the eggs into the preheated frying pan and them slid them onto a plate. Hmmm, Bella doesn't normally eat them sunny side up. "Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?"

"Since now." She shrugged, taking a bite.

"Do you know how many eggs you're gone through in the last week?" I pulled the trash bin out from under the sinnk, to show her the empty cartons.

"Weird," She said, taking another bite. "This place is messing with my appetite, but I like it here. We'll probably have to leave soon, though, won't we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too."

I got up and moved to the other side of the table and sat down next to her. "You can give up the college pretense now - you've gotten what you wanted. And we didn't agree to a deal, so there are no strings attached."

She snorted "It wasn't a pretense, Edward. I don't spen_d my _free time plotting like some people do. _what can we do to wear Bella out today?" _She did a poor impression of my voice, that made me laugh. "I really do want a little more time being human." She ran her hand over my bare chest. "I have not had enough."

"For _this_?" I asked, grabbing her hand as it lowered to my stomach. "Sex was the key all along?" I rolled my eyes "Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself alot of arguments."

She laughed "Yeah, probably."

"You are _so_ human" I said, rolling my eyes again.

"I know" She said, finishing off her last bite of breakfast.

"We're going to Dartmouth? Really?"

"I'll probably fail out in one semester." She said, frowning.

"I'll tutor you." I reassured her, letting a big smile spread across my lips. "You're going to love college."

"Do you think we can find an apartment this late?"

"Well, we sort of alread have a house there. You know, just in case." I said, knowing the guilt I felt was evident on my face.

"You bought a house?" She asked, looking surprised.

"Real estate is a good investment"

"So we're ready, then" She said, decided.

I pondered for a minute. "I'll have to see if I can keep your before car a little longer..."

"Yes, heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks." She said sarcastically. I grinned

"How much longer can we stay?" She asked.

"We're fine on time" I answered. "A few more weeks, if you want. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. We could spend Christmas with Renee..." I trailed of, pondering our plans for the immediate future. I was glad Bella had decided to stay human alittle while longer. She really was going to enjoy College, and I was looking forward to spending the first months of our marriage without having to babsit my newborn wife.

"A few weeks." Bella agreed, and then added "So I was thinking - you know what I was saying about practice before?"

I chuckled, and considered it, but I heard a boat far of in the distance. "Can you hold onto that thought? I hear a boat. The cleaning crew must be here. Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo, and then we can go out. There's a place in the jungle on the south -"

"I don't want to go out." She interupted me, sounding slightly annoyed. "I am not hiking all over the island today. I want to stay here and watch a movie."

"All right, whatever you'd like." I said, trying not to laugh at her tone. "Why don't you pick one out while I get the door."

"I didn't hear a knock" She said, confused. I turned my head towards the door and half a second later we heard a timid knock. I got up to let the cleaners in, and left Bella to pick out a movie title. I greeted the cleaners, and ushered them into the house. We made our way through the ktichen and in portugese I explained what needed to be done, when we reached the living room, I pointed out Bella to them, explaining that she was my new wife and she was now apart of the Cullen family. Gustavo smiled politely at her, but Kaure's mind flitted between worry for Bella and fear, wondering why I had her here, so secluded. She didn't believe that Bella was my wife, and was sure Bella didn't know what was going on. I led them into the white room quickly showing them our mess. I excused myself and went back to Bella, walking up beside her and wrapping my arms around her.

"What's with her?" Bella whispered to me. I shrugged, I was used to her reactions.

"Kaure's part Ticuna Indian. She was raised to be more superstitious - or you could call it more aware - than those who live in the modern world. She suspects what I am, or close enough. They have their own legends here. The Libishomen - a blood-drinking demon who only preys on beautiful women." I added the last part in my a grin, and Bella blushed slightly.

"She looked terrified."

"She is - but mostly she's worried about you."

"Me?" Bella asked, surpised.

"She's afraid of why I have you here, all alone." I chuckled and then turned towards the wall of movies. "Oh well, why don't you choose something for us to watch? That an acceptably human thing to do." I said with a wink.

"Yes, I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human." She said sarcastically, then laughed and wrapped her hands around my neck stretching up on her tiptoes. I leaned down to kiss her, then wrapped my hands tighter around her waist and picked her up, deepening our kiss for a minute and then slowly started to move my lips down her throat. "Movie, Shmovie." She muttered, twisting her fingers through my hair.

I heard a quiet gasp from the hallway and immediately put Bella down. I could hear what Kaure was thinking, stumbling upon us in such a way. She recovered herself quickly, and mumbled an apology. I smiled at her, said it was fine and she excused herself.

"She was thinking what I think she was thinking, wasn't she?" Bella asked. I chuckled.

"Yes."

"Here." Bella said, reaching for a movie and pulling out one at random. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it."

I glanced down at it, seeing it was "Holiday Inn". I remembered Roaslie dragging me to see it at the theatre in the 40s. "Very Honeymoonish" I approved. I put the movie in and we snuggled up together on the couch.

"Will we move back into the white room now?" She asked me.

"I don't know..." I said, thinking. "I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair - maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house, Esme might invite us back someday." Bella smiled widely

"So there will be more destruction?"

I laughed at Bella's exression, and the eager tone of her question. "I think it might be safer is it's premeditated, rather than if I wait for you to assault me again."

"I would only be a matter of time," She agreed, trying to sound casual. The pounding of her heart gave away any coolness she was trying to pull off.

"Is there something the matter with your heart?"

"Nope, healthy as a horse." She replied. "Did you want to go survery the demolition zone now?"

"Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. _You _ may not notice me tearing the furniture apart, but it would probably scare them."

"Right. Drat."

We continued to watch the movie, while Gustavo and Kaure made their way through the house. I could tell Bella was getting sleepy and she began to nod off in my arms. Gustavo entered the mixing room and informed me they were done, that the fridge had been restocked and they were on their way now.

"They're finished," I translated for Bella.

"So that would mean we're alone now?"

"How about lunch first?" It had been several hours since breakfast and I was sure she would start to get hungry soon. Bella bit her lip, looking like she was trying to make a very difficult decision. I smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her to the kitchen. No point in trying anything in the bedroom if she didn't have energy from lack of nourishment. I made her some lunch and set it in front of her. She ate the enitre plate of food.

"This is getting out of hand"

"Do you want to swim with the dolphines this afternoon - burn of the calories?" I asked, knowing she would turn the suggestion down.

"Maybe later, I had another idea for burning calories."

"And what was that?" I asked, playing dumb.

"Well, there's an awful lot of headboard left - " I didn't even let her finish her sentence before scooping her up into my arms and running as fast as I could into the blue bedroom.


	7. Unexpected

Disclaimer - I'm not SM, I don't own twilight. Dialogue is taken from BD.

Chapter 7.

My sweet Bella fell asleep easily that night. I held her for half the night, but decided it really was time I hunted again, especially if I wanted to keep control when we were expressing our love physically. I hated leaving her alone, but I would only be gone 3 or 4 hours, and she would probably just sleep through it. I wrote her a quick note that I would leave on my side of the bed, just in case.

_I'm hoping you won't wake and notice my absence, but, if you should, I'll be back very soon. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. I love you._

I folded the paper in half and addressed the outside to Mrs. Cullen. I put it down and kissed my beautiful wife's forehead and then headed out the door. I jumping into the boat and started of to the mainland. I felt a vibration in my pocket and pulled the little silver phone out in a flash, hoping it wasn't Bella. I looked at the call display and saw Alice's name.

"Alice," I said into the phone, worried. "What is it, is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine, Edward. Don't worry." She reassured me "I was just calling to see how you were. When are you coming home? I miss Bella!"

"Actually we'll be home in a couple weeks, Bella has decided to stay human for a while longer and we'll be attending Dartmouth at the beginning of the new semester."

"What? This is decided? For sure? Why haven't I seen that?"

"You didn't see us make the decision? You haven't seen us attending college at all?" I asked, worry returning to my voice.

"NO! I haven't been getting much of anything off you guys actually, I thought it was just my subconscious leaving you alone on your honeymoon, but I should've seen that!" She said, frantically. "Give me a minute... Edward, I'm worried, I just tried looking into your future, and I can get a bit of you, but Bella cuts in and out and the further I try to look the harder it is for me to see. What could this mean?"

"Alice, my love, you need to calm down. We'll figure this out. Maybe we should speak to Carlisle." I heard Jasper whisper to his wife.

"Jasper is right," She said a little calmer "I need to speak to Carlisle. "Don't worry about this Edward, I'll keep you updated and let you know what Carlisle says."

"Take care, Alice." I said, soothingly. "Say hi to the family from us." Alice told me not to worry, but I did. Was she having this problem with the whole family, or just the two of us? What could this mean? Is Bella still wavering on her decision? She sounded so sure this morning that this was what she wanted.

I was at the mainland now, I docked the boat and set of to find some prey. I wasn't out very long when I caught the scent of a couple of jaguars. I've always enjoyed jaguars, they taste similar to mountain lions. I drained them both and set off in search of something else to make sure I was really full before setting back. A few minutes later I came across a pack of maned wolves. I snagged a couple of the females, drained them and then headed back to the boat. I thought some more about Alice on my way back to the Island. Would it be too early to call? She's probably still talking to Carlisle and they probably haven't figured anything out yet. I'd have to be patient and wait for her to call.

As I neared the house I saw it was all lit up with lights. I looked at the time on my phone, 4:27 am. I immediately forgot my worries regarding Alice, and wondered why Bella was awake, hoping it was nothing serious. I docked the boat and jumped out running up to the house. I entered the blue room only to find she wasn't in bed. The sheets were a jumble at the end of the bed. I smelt the faint smell of something that Bella had been cooking, so I headed toward the kitchen, but stopped when I passed the tv room. There she was fast asleep on the couch, sweat beading up on her forehead and arms. I picked her up and placed her across me, so my cool body would help cool her down. She opened her eyes and looked up at me.

"I'm sorry" I apologized, as I wiped sweat from her forehead "So much for thoroughness. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I'll have an air conditioner installed before I leave again."

Bella had a weird expression cross her face, "Excuse me" She gasped, struggling to free herself from my arms.

I let go of her immediately, "Bella?" I asked. She shot up and ran down the hall way, I was up and following her. I made it into the bathroom just in time to grab her hair while she was violently ill into the toilet. "Bella, what's wrong?" I was trying to hide the worry in my voice, and wasn't quite sure I was succeeding.

"Damn rancid chicken" She answered.

""Are you alright?" Worry making it was to the surface of my voice again.

"Fine" she panted. "It's just food poisoning. You don't need to see this. Go away."

"Not likely, Bella."

"Go away" She moaned, trying to get up. I helped her stand up and rinse her mouth out, then I picked her up and carried her to the bed, placing her down as gently as I could.

"Food poisoning?" I asked when she was settled in bed and I was next to her, helping her keep cool.

"Yeah" She said in a tiny voice. "I made some chicken last night. It tasted off, so I threw it out. But I ate a few bites first." I put my cool hand on her forehead.

"How do you feel now?"

"Pretty normal. A little hungry actually." I chuckled and told her I would make her some breakfast, but she had to wait an hour and keep down some water first. I fried her some eggs, and she ate the whole plate. She looked perfectly normal, no sign that she had been sick earlier that morning. We moved to the couch and I flipped on CNN. We'd been here so long that I had no idea what was going on in the world. Bella was lounging across my lap, when she twisted around towards me, and the same look from this morning came across her face. She jumped up and ran to the kitchen, I followed and held her hair while she was sick again.

"Maybe we should go to Rio, see a doctor" I suggested. I was getting anxious.

"I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth." She said as she headed for the bathroom. I gave her a couple minutes to herself, standing just outside the door. I heard her rustling around, and then a moment of silence. I knocked on the door quietly to make sure everything was alright.

"Are you well?" I asked through the door. "Did you get sick again?"

"Yes and no," She answered, a strange sound to her voice.

"Bella, can I please come in?" This time there was no hiding the worry in my voice. I was starting to think this had something to do with Alice's lack of visions, and I was about to break down.

"O...kay?" She answered, although it sounded more like a question

I went in, and looked at her sitting on the floor, cross-legged behind her suitcase. I immediately sat down beside her, and put my hand to her forehead. "What's wrong?"

"How many days has it been since the wedding?"

I thought it was an odd question, but I answered immediately "Seventeen. Bella, what is it?"

She held her finger up to me, asking me to wait, while she mouthed numbers. She starting counting over again, and I just couldn't take it anymore. "Bella! I'm losing my mind over here!"

She fumbled around in her suitcase, and picked up a little blue box of tampons to show me. Her period? She was saying she was ill because of her period? I've never heard of women getting physically ill as a symptom of PMS. "What?" I asked confused "Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?"

"No." She managed to finally say "No, Edward. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late."

I froze absorbed in my own thoughts. _Pregnant? No. She can't be. I'm a vampire, we can't have children. There must be some other excuse for her late period. Stress, maybe I've been making her do too much and her body can't handle it. Pregnant? Impossible. _I was vaguely aware of Bella talking and doing something in the mirror, but I was too absorbed in my thoughts to really notice anything around me. _Pregnant? What the heck would I do with a child? I doesn't matter... she's not pregnant. _I could hear some sort of ringing in the background but was unable to stand and figure out the source of it. _ What kind of freak child would this be? Stop thinking like that Edward! _I scolded myself _ SHE'S NOT PREGNANT! _I finally figured out that the ringing was coming from my phone, but I couldn't seem to bring myself to move and answer it. Bella grabbed it out of my pocket and answered it. She was talking to Alice on the other line. _Had Alice seen something? _

"I'm a little worried about Edward" I heard her say. "Can vampires go into shock?" She paused. "No, no" She answered a question. "Just... taken by surprise" She told Carlisle that she thought she might be pregnant and I started to tune everything out again until I heard her say something that snapped me out of my trace.

"I swear something _moved _inside me just now." My head shot up and I held my hand out for the phone. I needed to talk to Carlisle.

"Um, I think Edward wants to talk to you." Bella said into the phone.

"Put him on" I heard Carlisle say in a strained voice on the other end. Bella passed me the phone and I put it to my ear.

"Is it possible?" I asked.

"Well, I've never seen it personally Edward, but there are many legends and myths out there, so it's possible. With the information she has given to me, I tend to think she is pregnant, but I would like to examine her to be sure."

"And Bella?" I asked

"She is in great danger, Edward. None of these legends end well. We don't know what is inside of her. If she is already feeling movements, than this thing is growing very fast and is very strong. You have to get her home immediately. We need to get it out of her, before it kills her. And Edward? Keep the possibilities of Bella getting hurt or dying from her... there's no need to worry her until I've examined her."

"Yes. Yes, I will." I answered and snapped the phone shut. I was thankful for Carlisle in a time like this. He was always so cool and level-headed.

"What did Carlisle say?" Bella asked, impatiently.

" He thinks you're pregnant." I answered, flatly, as I flipped my phone open again.

"Who are you calling now?" She asked.

"The airport. We're going home."

I buzzed around the room at an inhuman speed, while arguing on the phone with the airline company. I was trying to get us out on the next flight, first class of course. They were trying to tell me that all first class flights were booked for the next 4 days, but we could get a flight in 5 days. This was unacceptable. I continued to argue with them, until I mentioned that price was no object. Suddenly there were two seats open in first class on a flight that night. I turned to tell Bella the good news, but she was no longer in the room. I followed her scent, which led me to the kitchen. She was standing with her back to me, looking out the window, a bag of pretzels on the counter in front of her.

"Bella?" She turned, and I noticed the tears in her eyes, her cheeks wet from the ones that had already escaped. "Bella!" I crossed the kitchen quickly, and put my hands on her face, wiping her cheeks dry. "Are you in pain?"

"No, No-"

"Don't be afraid." I soothed her. "We'll be home in sixteen hours. You'll be fine. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. We'll take care of this, and you'll be fine, you'll be fine." I wasn't sure whether I said the last part to soothe her, or reassure myself. Suddenly she snapped up and pulled out of my arms.

"Take care of this? What do you mean?"

I looked into her eyes, "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt you and part of you. Don't be scared. I _won't_ let it hurt you."

"That _thing?"_ She gasped. Before I could get a chance to figure out Bella's reaction to what I'd said, I heard a boat approaching. Oh no, Gustavo!

"Dammit! I forgot Gustavo was due today. I'll get rid of him and be right back." I ran quickly to the door to let Gustavo and Kaure know that we wouldn't be needing their services, and that we were heading out.

"Gustavo" I said in perfect portugese. "I forgot you were coming today. Bella and I are just heading out, we won't need you today. You can come back tomorrow or the day after to clean up and remove all the food."

"Very well, have a safe flight home" He answered.

"Mr Cullen," Kaure's small voice called from behind Gustavo. "I made some stew for you and your wife. I would really appreciate giving it to the lady."

"No, I will take it, she is quite busy at the moment." I answered, curtly. I could hear the thoughts going on in her mind, she just wanted to check that Bella was still alive and I hadn't killed her yet.

"It is polite and proper for me to hand it to the lady of the house." She said as she walked pass me and into the house. "I will just place it on the table in the kitchen." I was really annoyed at this intrusion. I let out a sigh of exacerbation and walked past Kaure into the kitchen, heading straight for Bella.

"She's insisting on leaving the food she brought - she made us dinner. It's an excuse - she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yet."

Kaure entered the kitchen timidly placing the dish down on the table. She looked at Bella and then looked at me. She must have seen the tears in Bella's eyes because she mumbled that she must have made it just in time. I snapped at her, something I don't normally do, that she was intruding and it was time for her to leave us. She turned to leave and her whirl of her skirt sent a disgusting scent towards us. Bella must have smelled it too because she gagged and turned for the sink. I whispered that I would get rid of it and quickly put it in the fridge. The sudden motion caught Kaure's attention because she turned to look just as I pulled Bella to me, and her hands went down to her stomach. I heard Kaure gasp, and turned to see her staring at Bella's stomach, mouth hanging open in shock.

All of a sudden she was out of her daze and shouting at me in Portuguese. I stopped her shouting by pleading with her in her native Ticuna language, asking her if she knew her peoples legends well and telling her I needed to ask her questions.

"Is this child half mortal half immortal?" She asked me. I nodded once, and Kaure stepped back and crossed herself. I reached my hand out, gesturing towards Bella and then rested my hand on her cheek. I wanted to show Kaure that I cared for Bella, that I loved her, but this action only made her angry. She starting yelling at me again. She didn't understand that I loved Bella. She thought I was just here to impregnate her with an "unholy child". I began pleading with her again, explaining that Bella knew what I was, that we were infact married and that we loved each other. Then I asked what her legends say about the child.

She took a step towards us, and mimicked the shape of a pregnant stomach infront of her. She explained that the child will grow quickly, much faster than a human pregnancy. She said the child will be strong, and will hurt Bella immensely."

She asked me a few questions about the pregnancy so far, and I answered her questions, and then I finally asked the question I'd been dread. "What about the mother?"

Kaure hesitated and then shook her head. She walked forward and placed her hand over Bellas.

"Morte." She sighed, the turned around and left the room. _Dead. _I thought _Her legends say the mothers die. I need to get Bella to Carlisle so he can take care of this. I can't lose my Bella, my heart, my love. I need her in my life. _Bella started to walk out of the kitchen, but I placed my hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"Where are you going?" I asked. I did want her to be anywhere without me right now, the fear of losing her was too great.

"To brush my teeth again" She answered.

"Don't worry about what she said. It's nothing but legends, old lies for the sake of entertainment." I was saying this for my own benefit, as much as hers.

"I didn't understand anything"

"I packed your toothbrush. I'll get it for you." I walked ahead of her, retrieving her toothbrush before she made it into the bathroom. She grabbed it and heading into the bathroom.

"Are we leaving soon" She called after me.

"As soon as you're done" I was pacing the bedroom, waiting for Bella to finish so I could repack her toothbrush and we could get out of here. I needed to be on our way, to feel like we were doing something about his _thing_ that could take away the most important person in my life. Bella handed me the toothbrush and I repacked it. "I'll get the bags into the boat"

"Edward -"

"Yes?"

"Could you - pack some of the food? You know, in case I get hungry again."

"Of course. Don't worry about anything. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours, really. This will all be over soon." I said reassuringly. Bella nodded, looking scared. I turned and left the bedroom with a suitcase in each hand. I packed some food for Bella, and then put the suitcases on the boat.

As I was heading back to the house to get Bella, she was heading down to the docks. She slipped my phone into my pocket with a little smile. "You're getting forgetful." She said. I grabbed her hand with a little smile and helped her onto the boat. We headed out into the water, we had started our journey home... soon we would be with Carlisle and he could help me save my Bella from this monstrosity growing inside of her.

**AN- This chapter marks the end of Bella's point of view in the book. Since the pregnancy is all in Jacob's point of view, I'll be doing a lot more exploring of what happened in the Cullen house during Bella's pregnancy. **


	8. Home

**AN - Not a super long chapter today, I'm just setting up for the next chapter which will have Jacob's first visit in it. Enjoy!**

Disclaimer - I'm not SM, I don't own twilight

Chapter 8.

The plane ride home was a silent one. All of our connections met up nicely, so at least it was a quick trip. I tried talking to Bella a few times, but she gave me very curt answers. I figured she was just worried about what I had done to her.

I was beating myself up for allowing this to happen. Why hadn't I don't more research first, paid more attention to all those stupid legends, then we wouldn't be in this mess. Bella's life wouldn't be in danger from that monster growing inside of her. I tried to keep my arms around her the entire trip home, but she curled away from me. Was she mad at me? Was she _afraid_ of me? I wanted so desperately to comfort her, but what if _I_ was serving as a horrible reminder of what I had done.

My mood was very quickly spiraling downwards. I felt worse than I did when I saw her bruised body that first morning of our honeymoon.

Bella tried to keep down food, but inevitably just kept running to the toilet to throw it back up again. Not being able to keep down food was a very bad sign. She was starting to look very pale, with dark circles under her eyes, she almost looked like I do when it's been to long since I've hunted. _It's the hunge_r, I told myself. _She hasn't kept down any food in the last 24 hours._

We were starting our decent into seattle airport. "We're almost home, my love" I reassured her. She looked up at me with empty eyes, and gave me a smile. I was getting this nagging feeling that she was keeping something from me. "Are you in pain?"

"No, Edward, I'm just tired." she said quietly, looking at the floor of the plane.

We landed and we rushed off the plain, I kept one arm around her waist to guide her and hold her steady. She was weak from lack of sleep and food. I grabbed our bags and we headed out to find Carlisle, who said he would be waiting to pick us up. I attempted to find Carlisle's mind, so I could locate him easier and was surprised to hear two others I wasn't expecting.

The first I picked up on was Alice. She was blocking me out of her thoughts though, she was busy reciting the pledge of allegiance in Ancient Egyptian

"Where _are_ they?"I heard Rosalie think, impatiently. Rosalie? What the heck was Rosalie doing here? Why would she be picking us up?

I was confused by my sisters thoughts. I knew why Alice would be here, she loved Bella, they were best friends, but why on earth was Rosalie here? The scene where my father and sisters stood was even more confusing, Rosalie looked absolutely pleased, Alice stood and glared at her and Carlisle looked absolutely stoic. _Ah, Edward. _He thought. _Oh my, she's not looking well at all. I must examine her at once to see what we're dealing with._

_There she is! _Rosalie thought. Before I had time to try and figure out Rosalie's thoughts I felt Bella pull away from my waist. "Rose!" She called, sounding terrified. Bella started forward and Rosalie grabbed her into a hug and then positioned herself between Bella, Carlisle and I, facing Bella. Bella gave a nod and Rosalie turned around with a hard expression on her face.

"There has been a change in plans" She informed Carlisle and I.

"Rose, what - " I started

"It seems," Alice interrupted "That Bella has decided to keep the baby, and Rose will be the one protecting her"

I was shocked. _ Bella...WANTED to...keep that thing? _"Bella," I pleaded, until a new thought crossed my mind "Wait, protect her from who?"

"Us." Alice said, with another glare for Rosalie.

"From us?" Carlisle asked

"Bella wants this child. She asked for my help when she found out you were going to kill her child. I will be protecting her until she gives birth."

"Rosalie!" I spit out, through my clench teeth. I was furious.

"Not here Edward. I think this conversation is best served at home, wouldn't you agree" Carlisle said, calmly.

"Bella and I are going in my car, you, Alice and Carlisle are going in Carlisle's" Rosalie stated.

"Over my dead body" I said, angrier that ever "She's my wife and I'm not leaving her in this state"

"Bella and I have stuff to discuss, just the two of us."

""Edward" Bella finally said. "It will be fine. I'll go with Rose, and I'll see you at home"

"Bella..." I pleaded again, but she just shook her head, kissed my forehead and was wisked away by Rosalie.

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"This is unbelievable!" I yelled, slamming the car door. "How dare she! Bella is my WIFE!"

"Edward, calm down. We'll figure this all out at home." Carlisle added.

"Alice, what do you see?"

"She's going to keep it. Her future is cloudy for the next week or so, and then I can't see anything. There are lots of holes and then nothing. Edward, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm terrified for her." Alice broke into silent sobs.

"We need to change her mind" I resolved. "I refuse to lose her"

Carlisle was drving so we got home several minutes after Rosalie and Bella. They were already sitting in the living room, Bella wrapped up in a blanket and Rosalie sitting by her feet on the floor. Esme was in the living room, sitting next to Bella, stroking the hand she held in her own.

I ran out of the car as soon as it was stopped and stormed into the house. "ROSALIE!" I yelled. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"Edward..." Esme started, getting up to comfort me

_We're going to have this baby _Rosalie thought smugly from the floor.

"It's not _yours _ to decide. _YOU _aren't having anything." I shot back, furious at her thought.

"It's Bella's to decide, and she wants to have the baby." _and if she happens to die trying, I will be here to raise it _She thought to herself, while visions of her with a little girl flooded her mind.

I glared at her, shocked. "Watch your thoughts."

"Edward," Bella said softly. "Edward, this is our baby. It's you and I...a product of our love. I...can't...I can't kill a part of us, our innocent child."

"Bella," I pleaded again, sitting down next to her. "Bella I can't lose you. We don't know what it is growing inside you. We don't know if you'll survive, your body can't handle this."

"I've already thought about this, Edward. I formed my plan in my mind on the plane. I will give birth and you will change me right after, all I have to do is keep my heart beating."

"Bella..."

"It will work Edward. All you need to change me is a beating heart. Then everything will be fine. The baby will be alive, and I will still be here, and we can be happy again." She cradled my cheek in her hand, and I closed my eyes, marveling in her touch.

"I'll be back, Love, I need to talk to Carlisle." I told her, then looked up to talk to Rosalie. "You keep an eye on her, anything changes with Bella, come and get me immediately." And with that I stormed out of the room

Carlisle was in the kitchen with the rest of the family, far enough away to not be intruding, but still close enough to listen if they tried. "Carlisle, what can we do? We need to get that thing out of her, it's killing her! She gets weaker and weaker every hour. She can't keep food down, she's throwing up...I'm losing my wife"

"Edward, if we force Bella, do you think she could forgive you for it?" Carlisle asked seriously

"I don't care. As long as she's alive, I don't care! We'll have to get rid of Rosalie for a while, she's our only problem."

"She's not your only problem, bro. You'll have to get through me too, I'm with Rose." Emmett stood from where he was sitting on a stool at the counter, I looked at him shocked. "I'm sorry, Edward. I have to stand by my wife, I can't let you do anything that could harm her, even temporarily."

"I'm with Bella." Esme added in, while grabbing my hand and giving it a squeeze. She looked up at me, pain and apology written all over her face. "I've given it a lot of thought, and I have to support my daughter in this. I know what's it like to carry a child, and love it with all of your being. If you rip that child from her, she will be devastated Edward! I can't allow her to go through such a thing."

"I think this settles it Edward. As long as Esme stands by Bella, I will not go against her. She is my wife." My face sank as Carlisle said this "However," he added "Should _Bella_ change her mind, I will do whatever it is she asks of me. I will keep a close eye on this whole thing Edward, I will do everything I can to keep Bella from dying. None of us here want to lose her, we all love her too"

Humpf, I grunted _tell that to Rosalie._

_Edward, we'll figure out a way to keep Bella and the baby safe. _Carlisle thought "Well, since this pregnancy is going ahead, I have some research to do and equipment to set up. Emmett and Jasper can help me set up the attic to be a delivery room. I'll need to buy some blood too, just incase she needs a transfusion. Oh, and an ultrasound machine would be useful to check on her progress."

"Thank you, Carlisle" I replied. I looked up and gave Emmett and Esme a look that screamed betrayal. I instantly felt guilty giving Esme that look, she didn't deserve it as much as Emmett. She knows what Bella's going through, and her own feelings of her lost son are clouding her judgement. Instead of rectifying it though, I just turned and left. I didn't have the ability to speak to anyone anymore, I needed to be with Bella.

I entered the living room and Bella was looking worse. She was as pale as me, with dark circles under her eyes and was resting against the side of the arm rest. She looked thinner and her stomach had definitely grown today. Suddenly her eyes were open wide and a small scream of pain escaped her lips. I ran across the room and took her into my arms.

"Bella!" I cried "What's wrong?"

"It's ok," She answered quietly, "He's just strong"

"What?" I asked confused "What are you - " and that's when it hit me. I lifted her shirt and found a couple of bruises on her stomach. "BELLA!" I yelled looking horrified.

"Edward, it's ok. I can endure it." She had her hands on my cheeks now, cradling my face. My eyes sunk to the floor. It was my fault she was like this. It was _my_ fault this monster was torturing and killing my Bella. "Edward?" Bella broke into my thoughts

"Yes, love?" I asked quietly, not able to look up at her yet.

"I think -- I think we need to call Charlie." My head shot up and I looked at her, I wasn't sure what look was on my face now, but she suddenly looked a little worried about my reaction. "We can just tell him I'm sick or something, I think he should know I'm back though. If he thinks I'm sick....."

"What? If he thinks you're sick it won't be such a big shock when you die?" I asked, angrily

"Well, that's what we're going to tell him when I become a vampire isn't it?" She asked innocently.

"Fine" I gave in, "I'll get Carlisle to call your Dad."

Bella fell asleep not long after, and Alice came into the room, a little less bounce in her step.

"Alice" I greeted her. "Haven't seen much of you"

"I'm sorry, Edward, I'm trying to see into Bella's future but I can't see anything. It's like the baby is blocking my ability."

"It's ok Alice. Just keep trying as much as you're able to"

"If you two don't stop chattering, I'm going to have to kick you both out, Bella needs her rest" I shot Rosalie a look that invited her to _try_ and kick me out. This was my wife and my baby, and I would tear her apart before letting her kick me out of the room.

I took this opportunity to try to come up with a plan that Bella could live with, but wouldn't put her life in so much danger. I_f she wants a child so bad, perhaps we could find another way to have one. An immortal child was definitely out. Maybe a full human child? I don't think she'd ever give in to having some strangers baby. Is there anyone she knows that might work? My thoughts immediately shot to Jacob. How could I get a hold of him though? Could I live with myself if I allowed this... could I live with the child? I had to, I would still have Bella alive and she could have her child. Of course, there is always the possibility that being with Jacob that way, and carrying his child could sway her decision and I could lose her all together. Could I live with that? _I kept telling myself I could, but I knew deep down that it would kill me if Bella left me.

Could I propose this plan to Jacob? Would it be the end of Bella and I?


	9. Jacob

**AN - I decided to combine Chapter 9 and 10 from the book since half of each are when Jacob isn't even with the Cullens. If I had done chapter 10 on it's own, it would've been really short. I didn't want Edward snooping on Bella and Jacob's conversation, since it's just not something Edward would do...even in this state.**

**Disclaimer. I'm not SM, I don't own Twilight. Most of the dialogue in this chapter is from Breaking Dawn, some of it is my own.**

It had been a week now, since we got home. Bella was looking more like she was 4 months pregnant, rather that just a few weeks. Carlisle was predicting another 3 or 4 weeks and it would be full grown. We had the attic all set up for the delivery. Carlisle borrowed as much as he could from the hospital, and the rest we bought. We had attempted an ultrasound, but it wouldn't work. It seemed Bella's uterus had an extra layer of skin around it, vampire skin we were guessing.

Over the last few days, Bella grew weaker and weaker. She slept most of the day, and her poor stomach was littered in bruises at various stages of healing. I never left her side, I was in desperate need of hunting, but there was no way I was going to risk leaving her here without me. If something happened I never would've forgiven myself.

I was tortured watching _that thing_ suck away Bella's life. Nothing is this world is worse than slowly watching your true love slip away in front of your eyes. She continued to stroke her stomach lovingly, ignoring what the thing inside was doing to her. She really thought is was going to be this beautiful little thing, and that everything was going to be ok.

As if things couldn't get any worse, I had to sit there and listen to Rosalie's thoughts 24 hours a day, since she wouldn't leave me alone with my own wife. I hated how she thought of Bella and how possessive she was over the "baby". She had deluded herself in thinking that when Bella died, she and Emmett would have the chance to be a family. She viewed Bella as some kind of disposable surrogate. It was disgusting.

Carlisle kept a close eye on the growth of Bella's stomach. Esme hovered, she was in a constant state of worry, always bring Bella something to eat or drink, trying to make her as comfortable as possible. I found it hard to be around Esme right now, always shooting me pitying looks, her thoughts worried about me and what I would do if I were to lose Bella. Her thoughts frequently shot back to what I looked and acted like those 6 months Bella and I were away, and what I had attempted to do in Italy, when I thought Bella had killed herself.

I didn't see much of Alice and Jasper. Alice was getting frustrated at her lack of visions, and trying so hard to see _anything_ that she was giving herself severe headaches. Jasper just couldn't stand to be around me, my own increasing depression was not a pleasant feeling for him.

I was sitting in the living room with Bella when we heard a car come up the driveway. "Who -?" Esme started, looking towards the door.

My eyes narrowed, "Jacob" I replied, cutting her off. "He's here to see if she's still human, I guess he's heard from Charlie that we're back and Bella is quarantined. Carlisle?"

Carlisle had just finished measuring Bella's stomach for the 3rd time today. I noticed that it had grown 1/4 inch in just 3.5 hours. "Yes, son." He answered my question before I even asked it. _I will try to get rid of him peacefully._

Carlisle was at the front door, opening it before Jacob even got a chance to knock.

"Hello, Jacob. How are you?" Carlisle asked, calmly.

_Why did it have to be Carlisle. _I heard Jacob thinking. _I really wish it had been _him_ that answered the door, teeth bared, so we could fight. _Jacob was here to fight. He wanted to kill us all, since he figured we broke the treaty first by biting Bella.

"I heard Bella made it back alive" He said

"Er, Jacob, it's not really the best time," My father responded "Could we do this later?" Bella looked at me, pleading in her eyes.

"Bella..." I started. "I don't think that's the best idea, Love"

"Why not?" she asked me "Are we keeping secrets from Jacob too? What the point?" Jacob had heard her ask this and was confused about her voice.

"Come in please, Jacob" Bella said slightly louder, from beside me.

_This is not a good idea. _ Carlisle thought.

_Ugh, does that dog have to come in here, stinking the place up? _ I heard Rosalie think, bitterly.

"Excuse me" He said as he made his way into the living room. When he reached the door he froze, and looked at the scene in shock. He looked at me first, and I saw my reflection in his mind. I looked horrible, worse than horrible. The look of despair on my face made him pity me. I didn't even bother to look up at him. He looked to the right of me next and his eyes settled on Bella. His thoughts turned to shock as he appraised her appearance. He truly believed she was sick. Very sick.

Suddenly Bella shifted her position more upright, a slight tint of green coming over her face. She looked up at Rosalie apologetically and Rose held up a basin for her loose her lunch into.

"Sorry about that" She said to him. I groaned quietly, and put my head on her knees. She hasn't kept down any food in the last 4 days, and now she's apologizing for it. Bella rested her hand on my head, comforting me, trying to tell me with an unspoken gesture that she was ok.

"Bella, what's wrong?" He asked, taking her hand "Are you alright?"

"I'm glad you came to see me today Jake. " She said back to him.

"What is it, Bella?" He insisted.

"Help me up, Rose?" She asked. I sighed quietly, I knew she shouldn't be getting up right now, but I didn't have it in me to argue with her right now. "Please, Rose"

Rose started to pick her up. "No," He whispered "Don't get up..."

"I'm answering your question," she snapped at him, sounding a little angry. It was the most emotion I'd heard come out of her since this whole mess started.

Jacob looked over Bella as he stood up. He was shocked at her frail form, he paused at what he called her 'deformity' in his mind. _ Hmmm, _I thought _sounds about right. _Then I heard him clue in when Bella held her stomach tenderly, cradling it between her hands.

_Pregnant? _ He thought _No, there's no way after only a month she could be THIS pregnant! Ugh, she's actually pregnant. I so don't want to think about this, they actually did have a real honeymoon. That monster, he planted his demon seed in that body I love so much. It looks like that thing is sucking her life from her. Of course it is, it's a monster, just like it's father. I always knew he would kill her._

I'd heard enough, my head snapped up and I jumped to my feet "Outside, Jacob." I snarled.

He jumped up too "Let's do this" I heard him planning out an attack, unaware that I didn't want him outside to fight, but to strike a deal with him.

Emmett and Jasper were on their feet now, and standing behind me. Bella realised what was going on and stumbled towards us. "No," she gasped.

"I just need to talk to him, Bella" I said quietly to my wife, reaching up and running my hand up her cheek. "Don't strain yourself. Please rest. We'll both be back in just a few minutes." She studied my face for a minute, and then sat back on the couch.

"Behave" She ordered Jacob, "And then come back"

Jacob and I walked out of the house. I was going to take him down the drive way, where the rest of my family couldn't hear me beg my enemy to provide my wife with a child, one that wouldn't suck the life out of her. I listened to his thoughts, figuring out the emotional climate I would be dealing with

_Hadn't been too hard to seperate him from his coven afterall, this might just be easy. Why isn't he looking behind him to see if I'm preparing to attack, I guess his filthy mind reading power is doing that for him. I guess when I decide to attack, I'll have to do it quickly, so he doesn't have any reaction time._

_"_I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob Black" I answered his thoughts, "You'll just have to have a little patience."

"Patience isn't my specialty" He growled back. I continued walking down the driveway, until we were nearly at the end, far enough away that no one in the house could hear. I turned around and faced Jacob. The thought of what I was going to ask him hit me like a ton of bricks, I opened my mouth to ask the question that terrified me, but I couldn't get it out. He saw the agony in my face, and talked first.

"It's killing her right? She's dying." He was trying to process this question himself. He knew the answer, already but needed it to be confirmed out loud. _This isn't my fault._ I heard him thinking

"My fault" I agonised and fell to my knees on the driveway. "Yes. Yes, it's killing her" I whispered, not looking up from the ground.

"So why hasn't Carlisle done anything? He's a doctor right? Get it out of her!"

"She won't let us" I said, finally looking up at him.

_Well, that is so Bella. She is stubborn til the very end, she'll die just to have that thing._

"You know her well. How quickly you see... I didn't see. Not in time. She wouldn't talk to me on the way home, not really. I thought she was frightened -- that wuld be natural. I thought she was angry with me, for putting her through this, for endangering her life. Again. I never imagined what she was really thinking, what she was_ resolving._ Not until my family met us at the airport and she ran right into Rosalie's arms. Rosalie's! And then I heard what Rose was thinking. I didn't understand until I heard that. Yet _you_ understand after one second... "

"Just back up a second" He said, confused and angry "She won't let you? Did you ever notice that she's exactly as strong as a normal 110 pound human girl? How stupid are you vamps? Just hold her down and knock her out with drugs."

"I wanted to. Carlisle would have...."

_What, too noble?_

"No not noble. Her bodyguard complicated things."

He finally got it, saw the whole picture, then he turned angry. _Was was Blondie up to? Did she want Bella to die that badly??_

"Maybe" I answered "Rosalie dosn't look at it quite that way"

"So take the blonde out first. Your kind can be put back together, right? Turn her into a jigsaw and take care of Bella"

"Emmett and Esme are backing her up. Emmett would never let us... and Carlisle won't help me with Esme against it...."

"You should have left Bella with me"

"Yes"

_It's a bit late for that though _Jacob thought _ He should have figured that out before knocking her up with that life sucking monster. _ I looked up at him, not sure he'd ever know how much I agreed with him right now.

"We didn't know, " I tired to explain "I never dreamed. There's never been anything like Bella and I before. How could we know that a human was able to conceive a child with one of us --"

"When the human should get ripped to shreds in the process?" He cut me off

"Yes" I agreed. "They're out there, the sadistic ones, the incubus, the succubus. They exist. But the seduction is merely a prelude to the feast. No one _survives_." I shook my head, trying to get images of the seduction and meal of of my head.

"I didn't realize they had a special name for what you are." He spit out at me. He was comparing me to an iccubus? I guess I deserve that. I never should've given in to Bella

"Even you, Jacob Black, cannot hate me as much as I hate myself."

_Wrong. _He thought.

"Killing me now doesn't save her" I whispered.

"So what does?" He asked

"Jacob, you have to do something for me" Here it goes. The beginning of the end. He can give her something I can't, and he's going to win.

"The hell I do, parasite!"

"For her?" I asked, practically begging.

"I did everything I could to keep her away from you. Every single thing. It's too late."

"You know her, Jacob" I persuaded "You connect to her on a level that I don't even understand. You are part of her, and she is part of you. She won't listen to me, because she thinkgs I'm underestimating her. She thinks she's stong enough for this... She might listen to you."

"why would she?" Jacob looked down at me _Look at him, he looks crazed... can vamps lose their minds?_

"Maybe" I ansered his thoughts again. "I don't know. It feels like it. I have to try to hide this in front of her, because stress makes her more ill. She can't keep anything down as it is. I have to be composed; I can't make it harder. But that doesn't matter now. She has to listen to you!"

"I can't tell her anything you haven't. What do you want me to do? Tell her she's stupid? She probably already knows that. Tell her she's going to die? I bet she knows that, too."

"You can offer her what she wants. I don't care about anything but keeping her alive. If it's a child she wants, she can have it. She can have half a dozen babies. Anything she wants. She can have puppies, if that's what it takes." I looked up at Jacob, and his mouthed dropped in shock and realization. I continued on "But not this way! Not thins _thing_ that sucking the life from her while I stand there helpless! Watching her sicken and waste away. Seeing it _hurting_ her. You _have _to make her see reason, Jacob. She won't listen to me anymore. Tosalie's always there, feeding her insanity -- encouraging her. Protecting her. No, protecting _it. _Bella's life means nothing to her." I ended my rant and looked to Jacob again.

_What is he saying? That Bella should, what? Have a baby - with me? How? Was he giving her up? Or did he think she won't mind being shared?_

"Whichever." I answered truthfully "Whatever keeps her alive"

"That's the craziest thing you've said yet"

"She loves you" I pleaded

"Not enough"

"She's ready to die to have a child. Maybe she'd accept something less extreme?"

"Don't you know her at all?"

"I know, I know.. It's going to take some convincing That's why I need you. You know how she thinks. Make her see sense!"

He tried not to think about what I was proposing, but thoughts of him and Bella filled his mind. I flinched when an image of Bella and him in bed entered his mind, and then an image of Bella pregnant with his child, happy with _him._ "Make _Bella _ see sense? What universe do you live in?" He finally asked, letting the images that were torturing me leave his mind.

"At least try"

"Where is this psycho crap coming from? Are you making this up as you go?"

"I've been thinking of nothing but ways to to save her since I realized what she was planning to do. What she would die to do. But I didn't know how to contact you. I knew you wouldn't listen if I called. I would have come to find you soon, if you hadn't come today. But it's hard to leave her, even for a few minutes. Her condition...it changes so fast. The thing is...growing. Swiftly. I can't be away from her now."

"What is it?"

"None of use have any idea. But it is stonger that she is. Already." Images of the child growing and breaking Bella entered his mind. "Help me stop it. Help me stop this from happening"

"H_ow?_" He asked "By offering my stud services? Your'e really sick. She'll never listen to this."

"Try. There's nothing to lose now. How will it hurt?" _It will hurt me. Haven't I suffered enough rejection from her, without this? _He thought. "A little pain to save her? Is it such a high cost?" I asked.

"But it won't work."

"Maybe not. Maybe it will confuse her, though. Maybe she'll falter in her resolve. One moment of doubt is all I need."

"And then you pull the rug out from under the offer? 'Just kidding, bella'?" He eyed me, suspiciously

"If she wants a child, that's what she gets. I won't recind."

_I can't believe I'm concidering this? She would be furious with me for offering such a thing. She'd probably punch me and break her hand again. He's messing with my head, I shouldn't be talking to him. Maybe I should just kill him now..._

"Not now," I whispered. "Not yet. Right or wrong, it would destroy her, and you know it. No need to be hasty. If she won't listen to you, you'll get your chance. The moment Bella's heart stops beating, I'll be begging you to kill me."

"You won't have to beg long"

I gave a slight smile at his answer, that was what I'd been hoping. "I'm very much counting on that."

"Then we have a deal."

I nodded and held out my hand. He took it and we shook once. "We have a deal"

-----------------

I led him back up to the house in silence. Well, silence for him. His mind was going a mile a minute. He was still undecided on what he was going to do. Faltering between thinking it was insane, to picturing Bella happily carrying his child. I left him alone with his thoughts, not wanting to comment on any of them. We reached the house and I quickly probed the minds of my family. They were all curious about our meeting. No one had heard me ask Jacob for this favour, and for that I was glad.

I walked into the living room, Jacob following me. Bella looked worse, the stress of Jacob and I going outside sucked out some of her energy. I turned to my family, "We're going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately."

"Over my pile of ashes" Rosalie hissed at me. I ignored her, not wanting to speak to her. I would never speak to her again, if this turned deadly for my wife. Instead I turned to Bella

"Bella. Jacob wants to talk to you. ARe you afraid to be alone with him?" She looked over at Jacob, confused, then turned to Rosalie.

"Rose, it's fine. Jake's not going to hurt us. Go with Edward."

"It might be a trick" She warned. _He just wantes to get me out of your sight so they can take the baby._

"I don't see how." Bella replied.

"Carlisle and I will always be in your sight, Rosalie." I tried to keep my voice even, mono tone, but anger for my sister started to seep through. "We're the ones she's afraid of"

"No -" Bella whispered, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. "No, Edward. I'm not..."

I shook my head at her. She was worried about hurting my feelings. I tried to force a smile. "I didn't mean it that wasy, Bella. I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Everyone, " I said, motioning to the doors. "Please."

I waited for everyone to leave. Rose glared at me and then motioned for me to go first. I slipped through the door with Rosalie on my heels. We all entered the kitchen. " I think we should all go hunting together. I know Rose and I could both use it, we haven't been away from Bella in over a week. Carlisle, Rose won't leave unless you come too. Jasper, Esme, Emmett.."

"We'll all go" Esme answered my unasked question.

"Alice.." I started

"Yes, Edward. I'll stay here just in case. You take your cell phone."

"Can you.."

"Don't worry." She answered. "I won't listen"

"Very well, then" I said, turning to the rest of the family. "Shall we get going then. I don't want to be long, or go far."

We headed out into the woods behind our house. We only went a mile or two out. I guess we'd be stuck hunting deer today. We broke off into small groups. Rose stayed close by me and we spotted 4 deer in a little clearing ahead of us. I crouched down and sprang. I landed and took two of them down at once, breaking their necks so they couldn't get away. I looked up and saw that Rose had taken out the otther two before they had a chance to get frightened and run away. I drained both and then got up and walked away.

I heard Rose running up behind me. _You're not leaving my sight._ She thought. I stopped dead in my tracks and spun around. "Leave me alone" I growled.

"Jeez, I'm just trying to protect your wife, and honour her wishes. She asked me to help her. You think you'd be grateful that we're getting along."

"That's all bullshit and you know it. I can read your thoughts, don't forget. I know your real motivation. You don't care about Bella at all."

She opened her mouth to say something, but closed it, thinking better of it. I could hear what she was going to say in her mind and it was probably better for her that she decided against speaking it out loud. I felt a vibration in my pocket, and I pulled out my little silver phone. HOME was written across the call display. "Alice, what is it? Is Bella alright?" I practically yelled into the phone. I heard my family all race up behind me, Carlisle was at my side instantly, looking worried.

"She's fine, Edward. I'm sorry I scared you. I just wanted to let you know that Jacob left."

"Thanks, Alice."

I hung up the phone, "He's gone. I'm going to head back." I turned to Rosalie "Coming?" I asked bitterly.

We raced to the house, and as soon as I got near the back door I could hear Alice replaying some of Jacob and Bella's conversation in her mind.

_"Not a stranger? What exactly did Edward say to you? "_

_"Nothing. He just though you might listen to me."_

_"Not that. About trying again."_

_"Nothing."_

"Wow"

I entered the house then, and looked at Alice. She looked guilty, and confused. "Alice..."

"I'm sorry, Edward!" She aplogized " I swear that's the only bit I caught, I was just checking in, making sure she was ok! What was that about? What did you say to him?"

"It doesn't matter." I answered, heading into the living room.

Bella looked up at me and gave me a smile. She looked worn out and extrememly tired. "Edward..."

"Shhh, love. Don't strain yourself for me please." Rosalie followed behind me and sat down at Bella's head. "Can I get you anything?" She asked.

"No thanks."

"Bella" I said quietly, stroking her face. "Sleep, please. I'll stay right here with you. You need rest."

I started to sing her lullaby and Bella's eyes closed. "Just so you know." She said, sleepily "It's not just any child I want. It's your child, _this_ child."


	10. Plans and news

Chapter 10

_It's not just any child, _She told me _It's this child, your child. _

I sat with Bella for hours just repeating this line to myself. She was killing herself for my child. _MY CHILD_. It just reiterated to me that it was my fault that she was slowly dying before my eyes. How could I ever look at this _thing_ if it killed my precious Bella? Thankfully I wouldn't _have _to look at it, before seeking out Jacob to fulfill his part of our bargain.

I watched as she lay in my arms sleeping fretfully. She mumbled things about her son, green eyes and said my name several times. The despair was taking it's toll on me, and Jasper. He had taken to hiding away with Alice, trying to stay away from my emotions. Alice was still getting horrible headaches from trying to see Bella's future. There was something about the fetus that was blocking her from seeing and it was really bothering her. She had never had problems like this until the Quiletes and now that thing growing in my wife. Her emotions were all over the map too, and Jasper could barely just stand to be around her over me. She was his wife though, and he was doing everything he could to keep her emotions from getting away from her. She was devastated at the whole situation. Bella was her best friend and she couldn't stand watching her fade away from us almost as much as I. I appreciated that they kept away, even though I missed them. Hearing my own turmoil reflected in Jasper's thoughts and Alice's thoughts which mirrored my own, were just to much for me to bear.

I felt Bella sit up suddenly, gasping for air, which brought my out of my trance. "Bella, love... are you alright?" I asked, terrified. Rosalie shot up and was suddenly beside Bella, cradling her stomach in one hand and put her other hand across Bella's shoulder's with the other. I shot Rosalie a warning glare and a low growl erupted from my chest. "Back off" I warned her

Rosalie let out a low hiss in return "She wants me here, _Edward_" She said smugly.

"Stop, please. I want both of you here, I need you to get along" Bella pleaded, holding her own stomach with one hand and using the other to reach up to my face.

I leaned my cheek into her hand and whispered "Sorry, Love"

"Bella, what's wrong?" Rosalie asked "Is it the baby?" _I hope that baby is ok, I need for that baby to be ok. This is _my_ chance for a baby..._

"He's fine" She answered, "Just a little active. He kicked me a little harder that usual, that's all" I let out a low groan, and turned my head in her hand, burying my face in her palm. "Edward, " She said softly, leaning over to whisper in my ear "I'm really ok. It's going to be ok, I promise."

She didn't keep her promise long, because as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she fell back, passing out. I managed to catch her and gently laid her back down on the couch.

"Carlisle!" I yelled, not sure where in the house he was. He appeared in an instant, and was at Bella's side in another. He checked her pulse and temperature.

"She's extremely weak and malnourished. I think it's important to get an IV into her to try to get her some nutrients."

"I don't know..." Rosalie started

I growled at her. "You don't have a say in this. She's _my _wife!"

"I have a say because Bella says I have a say. I'm the only one here on her side."

"You're not on her side! You just want the baby. I hear your thoughts, you don't give a damn about Bella." I shouted, angry.

"Enough, both of you." Carlisle said calmly "Fighting isn't helping her. Rose, she needs the IV, and so does the baby. We need to at least TRY. If she's malnourished, so is the fetus. It's not going to survive at this point if she dies"

"Fine, but no funny business. You keep that baby right where it is."

Carlisle ignored her last statement and started issuing orders. "Edward, Emmett, Jasper...I need you to go upstairs to the attic and bring down the hospital bed, the iv equipment and the monitors. Alice and Rosalie you can help me move all this furniture out." We had the room set up and looking like a hospital in a matter of minutes. I lifted Bella to put her on the bed so Carlisle could put the iv in. She woke up just as we were finishing.

"What's going on?" She asked

"You fainted, Love. Carlisle said you're not getting enough nourishment, so we've put an iv in, hopefully your body doesn't reject it like the food."

She had a horrified, worried look flash across her face "The baby?!"

"He's fine" Rosalie answered "I made sure nothing happened to him"

_Edward, _I heard my father thinking , _We have something to discuss in my study if it's convenient for you._

_"_I'll be right up" I said quietly as Carlisle turned and headed upstairs. I looked up at Bella, who had a confused look on her face "Carlisle would like to speak with me. Will you be ok if I leave for a few minutes? I won't be gone long."

"I'll be fine, Rose is here if I need anything"

I stood up, leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead, then I turned and ran as quickly up the stairs as I could. I didn't want to be away from Bella even a second longer than could be helped.

I walked into Carlisle's study, he was sitting at his desk, bent over several open books. He looked older than I have ever seen him look before. He looked like a doctor should look after several days work, tired and worn out. His face was constantly creased with worry, worry for me and for the family, but most of all worry for Bella. She was a daughter to him, just as much as Rosalie or Alice were. He loved her and blamed himself for not being able to help more. He was constantly reading old myths, and medical journals, trying to figure out what he could do to be of help.

"You wanted to discuss something?"

"Yes, Edward," He said looking up from a text, "Please. Take a seat" I sat down in the closest chair, and looked up at Carlisle expectantly. "I'm sorry to have to take you away from Bella, son, but I thought it would be more prudent if we discussed this away from Bella. I have been thinking about the birth quite a bit, and have been reading as many legends and myths as possible to try to figure out what we can expect. It seems... if I am to understand all these legends properly, that the children are not born..._normally_."

"How abnormal are we talking here?" I asked

"Well, I'm guessing that Bella's uterus has a layer of vampire skin lining the inside, and that that is what is keeping me from getting an ultrasound image. It would also make birth extremely difficult for the child. Judging by these stories, it seems the only way for the child to get itself out is to..._bite_ it's way out." A look of horror flashed across my face, so Carlisle quickly finished off his thought "But I have a plan to get the child out safely and hopefully give Bella a fighting chance at survival."

"What's the plan?"

"C-section. Bella seems to be gaining about 2 cm's a day, which means her pregnancy is gaining two weeks a day. If I keep a close eye on her growth and plan to extract the baby myself around 36-37 cm's, before she goes into labour, we may have a better chance at keeping both the baby and Bella alive. It will be more controlled, and easier than trying to deliver the child if she goes into spontaneous labour. Perhaps this way, I won't have to work as quickly to get the child out before it bites it's own way out."

"How are we going to cut her open though, if her uterus is surrounded by vampire skin?"

"I will use a scalpel to cut as far down as I can, and to reduce the amount of blood lose, but my scalpel will obviously not cut through the uterus. I'm going to have to extract the child the same way it frees itself during birth."

"You mean... you're going to bite the thing out of her?"

"It's the only way, Edward. Vampire teeth are the only thing we have to penetrate the vampire skin. Now, I will try my best to minimize the bleeding, but we will have to act fast to get as much venom into her as possible. I have morphine ready upstairs, we can inject that into her before we start the procedure, and hopefully reduce the pain she will be feeling during her transformation. We will both need to be ready to bite her, several times, in many places."

"I actually have a plan for that." I said, trying to take in everything Carlisle had just told me.

"What is that, son?"

"You've always told us that vampire venom works the best, and fastest, the closer it is to the heart, correct?"

"That is correct"

"I was thinking I would put some of my venom into a syringe, and when the time came I could just inject the syringe directly into her heart. We wouldn't need to bite her at all"

"Interesting. I had never thought of that" A smile spread across his lips, he looked pleased, and absolutely proud of me for coming up with such a thing.

"Carlisle, is that everything? I must get back to Bella now."

"Of course. Esme is waiting for me anyway. We are going to take a moonlight walk through the forest" He said, with a wink.

I stood up and raced downstairs. When I entered the living room, Bella's eyes were closed. I looked up at Rosalie.

"She fell back to sleep shortly after you left. The baby calmed down, and she was able to settle again."

"Did she ask for anything to drink or eat?"

"She said she was thirsty and drank about a half a glass of water, but threw it up again"

I sighed and sat down at the end of the bed, careful to keep a blanket in between us so she wouldn't get cold. I pulled Bella's feet up into my lap and watched her sleep again. I replayed Carlisle's plan over and over in my head, hoping that he was right and doing it his way would give Bella a fighting chance at staying alive. Emmett walked into the room, breaking me of my concentration. He sat down on the floor beside Rosalie and pulled her into his lap. He was trying to figure out a way to get Rosalie to join him upstairs. Unfortunately, Rosalie's thoughts only revolved around the baby, so it was a losing battle for Emmett. It also meant I wasn't going to get the night alone with my wife....again. I let out a sigh, and then a familiar voice entered my head.

_Edward. Edward? You there? Okay, now I feel kinda stupid. _"Jacob" I said suddenly

"Jacob?" Emmett asked

_You sound stupid too. _ Another familiar voice answered

"Jacob... and Seth. They are on their way here. I'll see what they want." I stood up and headed towards the front door.

"I'm coming with you bro" Emmett said, already on his way out of the family room.

"Good idea, Where's Jasper? He should come too."

"I'm here" Jasper said from the top of the stairs.

_Think he can hear us? _ I heard Seth ask

_I think so. Hey, Edward. If you can hear me -- circle the wagons, bloodsucker. You've got a problem. _

We've _got a problem _

When Jacob and Seth broke through the trees, Jasper, Emmett and I were already on the porch awaiting their news. "Jacob? Seth? What's going on?"

Not wanting to waste any time, Jacob and Seth ran through the scene they'd had with Sam in the woods. I listened quietly until I heard Sam's orders to his pack

_We need the whole pack for this. Jacob, you are our strongest fighter. You will fight with us tonight. I understand that this is hard for you, so you will concentrate on their fighters, Emmett and Jasper. You don't have to be involved with the whole... other part. Quil and Embry will fight with you. Paul, Jared and I will take on Edward and Rosalie. I think, from the information Jacob has brought us, they will be the ones guarding Bella. Carlisle and Alice will also be close, possibly Esme. Brady, Collin, Seth and Leah will concentrate on them. Whoever has a clear line on...Bel- ummm... the creature-- will take it. Destroying it is our first priority. _

Hearing that was enough for me. I hissed loudly and jumped off the porch landing directly in front of them. "They want to kill Bella?" I asked, angrily. Jasper and Emmett were at my side in an instant, growling and baring their teeth. They starting moving in on Jacob and Seth

_They won't get anywhere near her_

_I'll kill them before they can even touch her, bring on the fight._

I realized that Jasper and Emmett and come to the wrong conclusion "Em, Jazz -- Not them! The others. The pack is coming." Emmett and Jasper stopped immediately and looked back at me.

"What's _their _problem?" Emmett demanded

"The same one as mine" I hissed "But they have their own plan to handle it. Get the others. Call Carlisle! He and Esme have to get back here now."

Jacob whined. He wasn't happy that we were separated.

"They aren't far."

_I'm going to go take a look. Run the western perimeter. _Seth thought

"Will you be in danger?" I asked

_I don't think so _They both thought at the same time, _ But maybe I should go. Just in case.... _Jacob thought

_They'll be less likely to challenge me, _Seth argued _I'm just a kid to them._

_You're just a kid to me, kid._

_I'm outta here. You need to coordinate with the Cullens. _ With that, Seth darted off into the darkness, and Jacob let him go.

I stood and looked at Jacob for a moment, trying to find a way to express my gratitude. I heard Emmett on the phone speaking with Carlisle, filling him in on the events that just unfolded. Alice was outside the house now, and flitted to Jasper's side.

"This isn't the first time I've owed you my gratitude." I finally said "I would never have asked for this from you."

_Yeah, you would _He thought, and then images of what I'd asked him this afternoon flashed through his mind.

"I suppose you're right about that"

He sighed heavily _Well, this isn't the first time that I didn't do it for you. _He added, making sure I knew he was doing this for _Bella_ and not for me.

"Right"

_Sorry I didn't do any good today. Told you she wouldn't listen to me._

_"_I know" I reassured him. "I never really believed she would. But..."

_You had to try. I get it. She any better?_

I wasn't really sure what to say to Jake. He loved Bella as much as I did, and I knew he was suffering as much as I was with all of this. "Worse," I said quietly, looking at the ground to avoid eye contact.

"Jacob, would you mind switching forms?" Alice asked. "I'd like to know what's going on." Jacob shook his head and thought about Seth. I answered for him.

"He needs to stay linked with Seth."

"Well, then would you be so kids as to tell me what's happening?" Alice asked me.

I nodded once "The pack thinks Bella's become a problem. They foresee potential danger from the... from what she's carrying. They feel it's their duty to remove that danger. Jacob and Seth disbanded from the pack to warn us. The rest are planning to attack tonight."

Alice hissed.

"Carlisle and Esme are on their way," Emmett said, slipping his phone into his pocket. "Twenty minutes tops."

"We should take up a defensive position," Jasper said

"Let's get inside." I agreed.

_I'll run the perimeter with Seth _Jacob thought _If I get too far for you to hear my head, listen for my howl._

_"_I will." Then I turned and we entered the house. I was glad to see that Bella was still asleep when we entered the living room. Rosalie stood as soon as she spotted us.

"What's going on?"

"The pack." Emmett started to explain " They've decided they have to get rid of the kid. They are planning on attacking us tonight and killing Bella."

"NO!" Rosalie yelled.

"Quiet Rosalie" I hissed. "I don't want Bella waking up, she doesn't need to know what's going on right now. She's sick enough without the worry of an on coming battle." We all heard the front door open and my head snapped up in that direction. I was relieved to see Carlisle and Esme walk through the door, even though I had been able to hear their thoughts for the last few minutes.

"Carlisle..." Jasper started.

"It's ok, Jasper" I interrupted, "They ran into Seth about a mile out and he filled them in."

"How's Bella taking all this?" Esme asked, sounding concerned.

"She's been asleep the whole time, doesn't know anythings going on." Alice answered.

"We need to close the glass wall" Esme decided, "Emmett, Jasper?"

"We're on it, Esme" Jasper said and they raced out of the room. I looked out the window of the living room, trying to see as far as I could, looking for possible danger. I was listening to Jacob and Seth's thoughts and those of my family. I had so much on my own mind right now that I had really wished I could tune them all out. That's when a howl broke through the silence. Everyone in the house tensed and I narrowed in on Jacob and Seth's thoughts.

_False alarm, false alarm_ I heard Jacob think _Sorry. Seth is young, he forgets things. No one's attacking. False alarm. _I was still staring out the window when I saw Jacob break through the tree's. _There's nothing out there -- you got that?_

I nodded once, letting him know I got the message, then I turned to my family. "It was a false alarm. Seth was upset about something else, and he forgot we were listening for a signal. He's very young."

"Nice to have toddlers guarding the fort." Emmett grumbled.

"They've done us a great service tonight, Emmett." Carlisle said "At great personal sacrifice."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just jealous. Wish I was out there."

"Seth doesn't think they will attack tonight" I said "Not with us forewarned and lacking two members of the pack."

"What does Jacob think?" Carlisle asked me

"He's not as optimistic." We sat in silence for a moment, my family all thought about what they thought was going to happen. Some agreed with Seth, other's with Jacob. Emmett didn't care, as long as he got a fight. Suddenly Bella's breathing became laboured, and her heartbeat sped up. I looked up at Carlisle, who had already grabbed his medical bag.

"Don't touch her! You'll wake her up" Rosalie whispered.

"Rosalie" Carlisle whispered back, trying to talk some sense into her.

"Don't start with me, Carlisle. We let you have your way earlier, but thats all we're allowing."

Bella starting jerking in her sleep and then she let out a whimper. _That thing must be awake._ I thought. I moved in to put my hand on her forehead, to let her know I was hear for her, but Rosalie made it first. I was getting really sick of her squirming her way in and assuming _my_ place at Bella's side. My body stiffened in response, and I was preparing to launch Rosalie across the room, but Emmett got in my way before I could. He held his hand up to me, my plans must've been written all over my face.

"Not tonight, Edward. We've got more important things to worry about."

I turned away from them and looked out the window. Jacob was looking in on the room, checking on Bella. We met eyes and then he dropped back down to the ground. Now he knew for himself that Bella was in fact worse.


	11. Why didn't I think of it sooner?

**Disclaimer - I'm not SM, and I don't own twilight. Some of the dialogue is taken from Breaking Dawn.**

Chapter 11

Bella woke up shortly after midnight. We were all in the living room at the time, having just finished discussing what was going on with the wolves.

"Carlisle, she's awake" I heard Rosalie say. I snapped my head up from the bed where I had been resting my cheek on her hand.

"Bella, Love. I'm sorry, was your hand cold?"

She reached her hand up to my face "No, Edward, it felt nice. I'm actually feeling quite hot"

Carlisle quickly crossed the room and was at her bedside with his hand on her forehead. "She's running a fever. Edward, it may be wise for you to climb into the bed with her, to keep her cool."

As softly as I could, I climbed into the hospital bed with my wife, and wrapped my arms around her. She looked up at me and gave me a little smile "Thank you" She whispered. It was then she looked around the room, she looked at each of us and then her gaze stopped at the metal shutters over the glass wall. "What's going on?"

"Why do you think something's going on?" Esme asked, stepping closer to the bed and reaching her hand out to stroke Bella's cheek.

"Because the metal shutters are over the windows and you all look like you did the night we met James."

I sighed "Bella, you are far too perceptive for your own good."

"Edward." Rosalie started "We shouldn't..."

"I'm not going to keep this from my wife, Rosalie. Besides, if Jacob comes back to visit her, she'll find out from him. Since it concerns her and the fetus, I think it should be _me _who tells her." I glared at Rosalie.

"Is... is something wrong with our baby?" Bella asked, bringing her free hand across her belly, her eyes widening in fear.

"No, everything with the fetus is . . . the same." I reassured her, and she seemed to relax. "Bella, it's the wolves. They've learned of the fetus, and Sam has ordered it killed, He's voided the treaty and they plan to attack us."

Bella's eyed widened and she looked around the room again, and then back to me. "What?? Why would they want...how could they...Jacob....how could he..."

"Bella, calm down, Love. Jacob didn't try to betray us, he was showing them his memory of seeing you, showing them that you weren't a vampire and the treaty hadn't been broken. Sam then decided that the fetus was too much of a risk and decided to break the treaty himself, and ordered the pack to attack. Jacob stood up to him. You see, Jacob is actually the Alpha of the pack. He is a direct descendant of Ephraim Black. He finally embraced that and stood his ground, only Sam didn't back down. Jacob didn't want a fight, and he didn't want to be Alpha, so he left and headed here to warn us. Seth joined him as well. The wolves seem to have the choice now, which Alpha to follow."

"So Jacob and Seth. . .they left? They aren't in a pack now? They aren't in La Push anymore?"

"Actually, the split seems to have created two packs. Sam's pack and Jacob's pack."

"So, where are they now?"

"Jacob and Seth are patrolling the area, keeping an eye out for Sam's pack. We aren't sure they are going to attack anymore, with us forewarned and missing two members of their pack. Jacob was the strongest and best fighter in the pack, they are at a big disadvantage without him."

"Wow, poor Jacob. And Seth too. Sue must be worried sick about him."

Bella was starting to worry about her friends and when she worried or got stressed she got worse. I looked up at Jasper, who nodded, answering my unasked question. I felt the calming waves he sent our way, and Bella instantly relaxed and looked very tired.

"It's time to sleep now." I whispered in her ear, shutting her eye lids with my fingers, and started to hum her lullaby.

I had hoped that the IV Carlisle put in would have some effect on Bella, but the worse she got through the night, the more my hope diminished. The IV wasn't having anymore effect on her than food. Carlisle had spent his night checking on Bella and trying to figure out what could possibly help her. He studied legends, and medical journals hoping that something _could_ work. Esme flitted through the house, cleaning an already spotless house, worried about Bella more than I'd ever seen her. Alice and Jasper were once again in their room. I could hear Alice sobbing and Jasper trying to soothe her. Alice's thoughts were depressing me, she was losing her best friend. She had never had a best friend, never loved anyone the way she loved Bella. If something happened to Bella it would tear Alice in half, she would never be the same. The family would never be the same.

I thought about what we had been like those six months that I was away from Bella. We could never go back to that. The family was an empty shell of what it once was. I barely existed. It would be much worse this time. She was so much more a part of our family, so close to being with us forever.

The dawn was breaking and I could hear a commotion in the woods, it seemed Leah had come to join Jacob's pack. I tried my hardest to block out their bantering. I wasn't in the mood to listen to it. It seemed Carlisle was on to something. He had come to the conclusion that the fetus was lacking something, something it needed, and that is why Bella's health was deteriorating so quickly, and her body was reject what _it_ needed...food. He was determined to figure out exactly what the baby needed to survive, and stop sucking away Bella's life.

I was about to think about Carlisle's problem, try and help him figure it out, when Bella woke up.

"Edward" She said quietly

"I'm right here love" I answered

"I'm thirsty" She said, looking up at me with eye's that were apologetic. Rosalie was already out of the living room and back with a glass of water before I could even answer Bella.

"Thank you, Rose." She said and she took the glass from her and took several big gulps. She handed me the glass with a sour look on her face. "It...tastes funny."

"Would you like a new glass of water? Or something else to drink?" I asked.

"No, that's ok thank you."

I laid back down with Bella. She didn't have the energy to sit up long, or do anything much other than laying in her hospital bed.

"Carlisle, Jacob's on his way here, he's in his human form. Would you mind greeting him for me? I'd prefer to stay with Bella since she's awake."

"Jacob's here?" I heard Bella ask, her voice lighting up.

"Yes, Love, I'm sure he'll be in to see you soon." I tried to keep my voice as light as possible, but my jealousy soared when I saw Bella's reaction. I had never seen her so excited to see Jacob before. I knew she loved Jacob, in her way. She had explained to me once that it had never transformed into romantic love, that it had only ever been the kind of love a brother and sister shared, but I knew that's not how Jacob felt. I had also seen the way they were together last spring. I was positive that had I not come back when I did, that it would have become romantic love. He saw her a way I never would, and I hated and desired his understanding of her.

Carlisle stepped outside the door, and greeted Jacob on the porch. I was thankful they were out there, I needed to get my emotions in check before I laid eyes on him.

"Are you alright, Jacob?" I heard Carlisle ask

"Is Bella?" He choked out

"She's...much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I'm sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form so I came out here to greet you, as he didn't want to leave Bella. She's awake."

_He doesn't want to lose anytime with her _They both thought.

"I never got a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don't know how much I appreciate your...compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do..."

"Don't mention it." Jacob muttered.

"If you prefer."

"She's family to you?" Jacob asked, after several moments of silence.

"Yes," Carlisle answered, lovingly "Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter."

"But you're going to let her die." A little growl escaped my lips, how dare he say such a thing to Carlisle. Carlisle was doing the most of all of us, he had all but abandoned his extra responsibilities to keep a close eye on Bella. He didn't even go to the hospital much anymore, they had believed his story about Bella getting sick on our honeymoon, and had given him quite a bit of time off.

"I can imagine what you think of me for that, but I can't ignore her will. I wouldn't be right to make such a choice for her, to force her."

"Do you think there's a chance she'll make it?" Jacob asked, anxiously "I mean, as a vampire and all that. She told me about...about Esme."

"I'd say there's an even chance at this point. I've seen vampire venom work miracles, but there are condition that even venom cannot overcome. Her heart is working too hard not; it it should fail...there won't be anything for me to do."

"What is that thing doing to her? She was so much worse last night. I saw...the tubes and all that. Through the window."

"The fetus isn't compatible with her body. Too strong, for one thing, but she could probably endure that for a while. the bigger problem is that it won't allow her to get the sustenance she needs. Her body is rejecting every form of nutrition. I'm trying to feed her intravenously, but she's just not absorbing it. Everything about her condition is accelerated. I'm watching her - and not just her, but the fetus as well - starve to death by the hour. I can't stop it and I can't slow it down. I can't figure out what it _wants."_

I didn't need Jaspers gift to know that Jacob's mood had shifted to anger. I could hear it in his thoughts.

_As if it wasn't enough for that little monster to beat her from the inside out, now it was sucking the life out her. Probably just looking for a throat to suck dry, and settling for Bella instead. I know exactly what it wants. Blood and Death._

I started thinking about Jacob's last thought. Something was nagging at me, but I couldn't figure it out. I hadn't realized that I'd tuned out Jacob and Carlisle's conversation until I heard something that pulled me out of my thoughts.

"It might help to know what the count was -- whether it was closer to us or her. To know what to expect." I heard Carlisle sigh, and then it hit me. Carlisle was wondering if the fetus was closer to being _like us_ and then Jacob had pointed out, in his mind at least, that the thing wanted blood. I looked down at Bella, recalling her reaction to the taste of water this morning after stating that she was . . . _thirsty._

I shot off the bed in a flash, and Bella looked up at me, worried. "Edward?"

"I'll be right back, Bella. I want to speak with Carlisle for a moment. Actually, Rosalie, would you mind accompanying me?"

"What is it, Edward?" Bella asked me

"Nothing you need to worry about, Love. It will just take a second. Please, Rose?" I asked, turning to my sister.

"Esme?" She called. "Can you mind Bella for me?"

Esme flitted down the stairs, a big smile on her face. "Of course."

I walked out of the living room and through the front door quickly, anxious to share my epiphany with Carlisle. When Rosalie was through the door I closed it. I didn't want Bella to hear what we were discussing right now. "Carlisle"

"What is it, Edward?"

"Perhaps we've been going about this the wrong way. I was listening to you and Jacob just now, and when you were speaking of what the. . . fetus wants, Jacob had an interesting thought. We haven't actually addressed _that_ angle. We've been trying to get Bella what she needs. And her body is accepting it about as well as one of ours would. Perhaps we should address the needs of the ...fetus first. Maybe if we can satisfy it, we'll be able to help her more effectively."

"I'm not following you, Edward." Carlisle admitted

"Think about it, Carlisle. If that creature is more vampire than human, can't you guess what it craves -- what it's not getting? Jacob did."

Carlisle's face lit up when he realized what I was getting at "Oh! You think it is . . . thirsty?"

Rosalie finally realized what we were all talking about. "Of course," She muttered to herself, then looked up at Carlisle. "Carlisle, we have all that type O negative laid aside for Bella. It's a good idea."

"Hmmmm. I wonder. . . " Carlisle was deep in thought, only sharing half his thoughts to everyone else. "And then, what would be the best way to administer . . . "

My sister shook her head impatiently "We don't have time to be creative. I'd say we should start with the traditional way."

Jacob's face changed to a disgusted look "Wait a minute, just hold on. Are you -- are you talking about making Bella drink _blood_?"

"It was your idea, _dog" _Rosalie answered, scowling at Jacob

I looked to Carlisle. He was thinking that Rosalie was right, having Bella drink it would be the best and quickest way to get the blood to the fetus, but he was concerned about her reaction. While the thought of drinking blood was not a problem for us, and was our way of life, it was not something a human usually did. It was not something a human would find appetizing.

"That's just . . ." Jacob started, but could seem to find the right word.

"Monstrous?" I suggested, trying to help him out. "Repulsive?"

"Pretty much."

"But what if it helps her?" I asked.

Jacob shook his head. "What are you gonna do, shove a tube down her throat?"

"I plan to ask her what she thinks. I just wanted to run it past Carlisle first.."

Rosalie nodded, agreeing with me that we should discuss it with Bella, she was sure she would do anything for the baby, even drink a bit of blood. "If you tell her it might help the baby, she'll be willing to do anything. Even if we do have to feed them through a tube."

_What the hell is going on here? _Jacob thought, recalling the lovey way Rosalie had said "baby" _ Is that the mystery factor in the bonding between Blondie and Bella? She's after the kid?_

I nodded once, answering Jacob's silent questions

_Huh, I wouldn't have thought that the ice-cold Barbie had a maternal side. So much for protecting Bella, she'd probably s_hove_ that tube down her throat._

Jacob's thought had struck a nerve. He was right. I mashed my lips into a hard line, trying not to let my anger get a hold of me.

"Well, we don't have time to sit around discussing this." Rosalie said, impatiently. "What do you think Carlisle? Can we try?"

Carlisle took a deep breath and then stood up. "We'll ask Bella"

Rosalie was pleased with Carlisle's answer, she knew she could manipulate Bella enough to drink the blood and save the baby. I was hoping she could convince Bella, though for a different reason. I was hoping it would help Bella. We entered the house and made our way to Bella's bed side. "What's going on?" She asked quietly. I looked at my wife, taking in her appearance again. I didn't think it possible, but she seemed to have gotten paler, and weaker, in the short minutes I was out of the room. Her hair fell limply around her pale sunken face, and her stomach bulged out from under the blanket she was covered in.

"Jacob had an idea that might help you" Carlisle said "It won't be . . . pleasant, but --"

"But it will help the baby" Rosalie interrupted. "We've thought of a better way to feed him."

Bella coughed out a weak chuckle "Not pleasant? Gosh, that'll be suck a change." She softly joked, while she eyed the tube in her arm. Rosalie laughed at Bella's joke, but I found no humour in it. What we were going to ask her to do was horrible, and I couldn't find anything light about this situation. I stepped between Rosalie and Bella and took Bella's free hand.

"Bella, Love, we're going to ask you to do something monstrous. Repulsive." I admitted

"How bad?" She asked, sounding nervous. I couldn't bring myself to answer her, and Carlisle seemed to sense my hesitation. To my relief, he answered for me.

""We thing the fetus might have an appetite closer to ours than yours. We think it's thirsty."

Bella just looked at Carlisle, and then blinked. "Oh. _oh!_"

"Your condition -- both of your conditions -- are deteriorating rapidly. We don't have time to waste, to come up with a more palatable way to do this. The fastest way to test this theory --"

"I've got to drink it." She whispered to herself. She nodded slightly and looked to me "I can do that. Practice for the future right?" She flashed a small smile at me, and as much as I tried to return the smile, I just couldn't bring myself to. "So who's going to catch me a grizzly bear?" Carlisle and I exchanged a quick glance. _Animal blood isn't going to be the best for her now. She needs human blood. _ I gave Carlisle one nod, to indicate my agreement. "What?" Bella asked, noticing our exchange

"It will be a more effective test if we don't cut corners, Bella." Carlisle explained.

"_If _the fetus is craving blood, " I explained, "it's not craving animal blood." Bella's eyes widened in realization

"It won't make a difference to you, Bella. Don't think about it." Rosalie encouraged. Part of me wanted to turn around and punch my sister right in the face, but I resisted the urge to do so.

"Who?" Bella asked, turning her gaze towards Jacob. Had I been in better spirits, I would've laughed out right at Bella's assumption. If the fetus wasn't craving animal blood, it certainly wouldn't take well to _werewolf _blood. My body shuttered just thinking about it.

"I'm not here as a donor Bells." Jacob grumbled. " 'Sides, it's human blood that thing's after, and I don't think mine applies --" He rolled his eyes, and shot Bella a wink.

"We have blood on hand," Rosalie explained "For you -- just in case. Don't worry about anything at all. It's going to be fine. I have a good feeling about this, Bella. I think the baby will be so much better." That urge to punch Rosalie again flared with in me. This time much closer to the edge and ready to burst out of me. I pushed it back down, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

"Well," Bella finally said "_I'm _starving, so I'll bet he is, too. Let's go for it. My first vampire act."

**AN - Hope you liked this chapter. I'm glad the dark depressing chapters are finally coming to an end. I have the next chapter started, hopefully it will be up within the week. It has a lot more humour in it than the last 2 or 3 have. I'm really looking forward to finishing it and posting it. I also wanted to thank all of my reviewers! I love reading them, and I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far and that so many people are happy with my version of Edward.**


	12. News from La Push

**AN - Thanks again to all the reviewers! LinkinPrincess, I wish I could say I WAS SM, but alas I am not. My bank account proves it :oP I'm shortening the whole Jared/Jacob talk in this chapter. I will acknowledge that it's happening, but since I want to concentrate more on what happened in the house with Bella/Edward/the Cullens during the pregnancy, I really don't want to type it all out and drag the whole chapter along. **

CHAPTER 12

After Bella gave her permission to try our latest idea, Rosalie and Carlisle shot upstairs to retrieve the blood. I stayed in the room, holding on to Bella's hand, not able to leave her bedside unless absolutely neccesary. My mind flickered between Jacob and Rosalie's thoughts.

_Gross. What kind of house-of-horrors stuff do they keep here. I'm not surprised a house full of vampires has a fridge full of blood. Wonder where the torture chamber and coffin rooms are. . ._

_Hmmm. I wonder how much she'll need. Probably just one bag for now. Oh I really hope this works and makes the baby stronger. . ._

_Ugh. Look how they're staring into each other's eyes like that. This is torturing me. Now I know how Leah feels. I feel bad blaming her for trying to pass some of her misery off on us, after having to watch Sam and Emily all the time in Sam's memories. . . _

"Rosalie, I've got the blood, can you go downstairs and get a cup to put it in?" I overheard Carlisle ask Rosalie from the attic

"Sure thing Carlisle." Rosalie was down the stairs and into the kitchen in a flash, opening the cupboards and trying to decide on what to put the blood in.

_Hmmm, a water glass? or maybe a wine glass? It's more elegant from a wine glass. . . _

"Not _clear, _Rosalie" I answered her thoughts, rolling my eyes. She really was clueless sometimes. Bella looked at me curious, but I just shook my head at her. I heard Carlisle give a little chuckle from the stairs.

"This was your idea?" Bella asked, turning to Jacob. She was straining to talk loud enough for him to hear, obviously forgetting that he could hear much better than a human.

"Don't blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head." _As if I would ever think of something so . . .ugh . . . let alone suggestion _Bella_ do such a thing._

"I didn't expect to see you again." She smiled. I laid my head back down on the bed beside Bella. I didn't want to see how her face lit up when she talked to him.

"Yeah, me neither"

"Edward told me what you had to do, I'm sorry" Bella apologized, sadly.

"S'okay. It was probably only a matter of time till I snapped over something Sam wanted me to do." Jacob was lying to her, trying to make her feel better. I could hear it in his head. He missed his pack, La Push and mostly Billy.

"And Seth," She whispered

"He's actually happy to help" _Not sure _why_ he's such good friends with these bloodsuckers. Too young to understand I suppose._

"I hate causing you trouble."

Jacob laughed at that and Bella sighed "I guess it's nothing new, is it?"

"No, Not really." _I don't mind though, anything that let's me be closer to you._

"You don't have to stay and watch this." Bella said, sounding nervous. I could tell from Jacob's thoughts that he had no intention of leaving. I guess this is where I know my wife better than he does. She sounded nervous only because Jacob was here. She knew how he felt about our _diet_, and she was concerned he would be repulsed watching her drink this blood.

"I don't really have anywhere else to go. The wolf thing is a lot less appealing since Leah joined up."

"Leah?" Bella gasped

"You didn't tell her?" Jacob asked me. I sat up, looking at Bella and just shrugged. I didn't think it was very important news, not with everything else that was happening. Bella obviously thought different, she looked. . . scared.

"Why?"

"Too keep an eye on Seth." He answered, nonchalantly.

"But Leah hates us!" Jacob flinched internally when Bella used the word 'us', and I had to resist the smug smile that wanted to form on my lips

"Leah's not going to bug anyone," _But me_ "She's in my pack so she follows my lead." Bella shot Jacob a look to prove she wasn't convinced. "You're scared of _Leah_, but you're best buds with the psychopath blonde?" He asked.

Rosalie hissed at him from the second floor. Jacob was happy that Rosalie had heard him, but Rosalie wasn't pleased at all. The words that ran through her head would've made me blush if I were still human.

"Don't. Rose. . . understands." Bella scolded him.

"Yeah," He grunted "She understand that you're gonna die and she doesn't care, s'long as she gets her mutant spawn out of the deal."

"Stop being a jerk, Jacob." She glared.

"You say that like it's possible." To my dismay, Bella smiled at Jacob's joke. I much preferred when she was mad at him, scolding and glaring.

Carlisle and Rosalie entered the living room just then, holding a white plastic cup full of blood. My throat burned at the smell of the human blood in the cup. It had been too long since I'd hunted and that smell was making me realize just how thirsty I was. Carlisle extended the cup towards Bella, who looked at it, and a look of fear crossed her face once more.

"We could try another method." Carlisle told her, quietly.

"No." Bella answered, whispering but quite determined. "No, I'll try this first. We don't have time . . ." Bella reached up to take the cup from Carlisle, but was to weak to sit up on her own. Rosalie propped her up by the shoulders, supporting her head, so Bella could take the cup. "Thanks." Bella whispered to her, looking grateful and embarrassed at the same time. She looked at the cup in her hand, and looked looked around the room, to each of us.

"Don't mind them" Rosalie whispered to her.

Bella lifted the cup to her face, and sniffed at the end of the straw. She flinched and made a face. My protective nature of Bella took over and I reached for the cup. "Bella, sweetheart, we can find an easier way."

"Plug your nose." Rosalie suggested. She glared at my outstretched hand, trying to decide if I was still too depressed to fight back if she ripped it off.

"No, that's not it. It's just that it -- It smells good." She admitted.

"That's a good thing." Rosalie encouraged Bella. "That means we're on the right track. Give it a try."

Bella brought the cup up to her lips, closed her eyes and took a small sip. She moaned quietly.

"Bella, love --" I started, stroking her cheek.

"I'm okay." She reassured me. She opened her eyes. She looked scared and apologetic. "It _tastes _good too."

_Ha! _I heard Emmett thinking from upstairs. _She was _born _to be a vampire!_

"That's good. A good sign!" Rosalie was overjoyed. I was surpised she didn't start jumping around the room like Alice would have.

Bella put the cup back to her lips and took a long drink of the blood. She had a look in her eyes that I recognised at once. They were no longer the tired, weak eyes I'd been looking into for days, they were ravenous _thirsty_ eyes. The instinct of the half vampire she was carrying had taken over, and Bella wouldn't stop until the blood was drained from the cup.

"How's your stomach? Do you feel nauseated?" Carlisle asked

Bella shook her head, and then slowly pulled the straw away from her lips. "No, I don't feel sick. There's a first, eh?" She looked pleased.

"Excellent." Rosalie beamed.

"I think it's a bit early for that, Rose" Carlisle told her. He kept it cool on the outside, but I could hear his thoughts, and he was just as optimistic and excited as Rosalie was.

Bella gulped some more blood, and then her face looked deep in thought. She snapped her head up and looked at me. "Does this screw up my total?" She whispered to me "Or do we start counting _after _I'm a vampire?"

"No one is counting, Bella" I answered amused. "In any case, no one died for this. Your record is still clean." Emmett and Jasper both laughed from upstairs, too quiet for Bella to hear, thankfully.

_They've lost me. _Jacob thought.

"I'll explain later." I whispered quietly to Jacob

"What?" Bella asked.

"Just talking to myself." I lied quickly.

_Hmm, if this works and Bella lives, he'll have to work on this honesty thing when her senses are as sharp as his._

Jacob was right. I fought off a smile, although the corners of my lips would give me away if anyone looked hard enough.

Bella chugged a bit more of the blood, staring out the window.

_She's probably pretending we're not here. Or, I'm not here. Everyone else here doesn't think that what she's doing is repulsive. They're probably trying their hardest not to run across the room and snatch the cup out of her hands._

I rolled my eyes at Jacob,

_Jeez, how does anyone stand living with him? It's really too bad he can't read Bella's thoughts. Maybe then he'd annoy the crap out of her and she'd get tired of him._

I chuckled at Jacob's thoughts. He was probably right about that one too.

Bella flicked her eyes to me, and her face lit up at the look on mine. "Something funny?"

"Jacob." I answered

She looked over at Jacob, giving him another smile. "Jake's a crack up."

_Great, now I'm the court jester. _"Bada bing." He mumbled.

Bella gave a small smile and returned to sipping on her straw. After a minute she had drained the whole cup. A sucking sound confirmed that she had finished off the whole thing. I saw Jacob flinch from the corner of my eye, and wished he could keep those reactions to himself. It wasn't helping Bella to see him react like that. Thankfully she didn't seem to notice. "I did it." She said as she pulled away from the straw, obviously pleased with herself. Her voice was definately louder than it had been in a couple days, she was no longer straining to use her voice like she had been this morning. There was more colour in her face as well. She didn't look so yellow and waxy. Her cheeks wore that pink hue that I loved so much and her lips were back to looking a warm pale red. Her eyes looked brighter, more alert.

_Edward, she's stronger! _Rosalie thought to me _That blood has really done her good. Just look at her! She's glowing. She much stronger too, she doesn't need my help to hold her up nearly as much as before._

I was shocked at the protective nature Rosalie's thoughts had taken towards Bella. She hadn't thought of the fetus at all, and seemed more concerned about Bella.

"If I keep this down, Carlisle, will you take the needles out of me?"

"As soon as possible" He promised "Honestly, they aren't doing that much good where they are." _Edward, she's defiantly better. I can see it. If this is how she continues to respond to the blood, then she'll be just fine. She's looking more like herself already. I'm confident that this will make her strong enough to survive the rest of the pregnancy and childbirth, and allow her the time for the venom to work._

Carlisle's confidence and reassurance sent a wave of hope through me. I couldn't help but feel hopeful, Carlisle was right, she had a fighting chance now. I looked down at Bella with a small grin on my face, and she looked back up at me, glad to see a genuine smile on my face, even if it was a small one.

"Would you like more?" Rosalie asked impatiently. _We need to make sure that baby is strong! He's been without a good supply of blood for so long. _

I snapped my head up to Rosalie, I could feel the glare that had formed on my face. She had ruined the little moment I was having with my wife. _So much for her thoughts of protection for _Bella. I thought _I suppose she can't think of anyone but herself for too long. I'm kidding myself if I think she'll get over her resentment of Bella anytime soon._

I looked back down at Bella, who's shoulders were slumped and was looking down, with slight embarrassment. "You don't have to drink more right away." I reassured her.

"Yeah, I know. But. . . I _want_ to." She admitted, a slight blush forming in her cheeks. My breath caught at the sight of the blood rushing to her cheeks. It had been too long since I'd seen that blush, it was just further proof that the blood was doing her good.

"You don't need to be embarrassed about that, Bella." Rosalie ran her hand through Bella's hair, lovingly with a soothing tone. "Your body has cravings. We all understand that." A quick flash of Jacob's face in a grimace when Bella had been drinking the blood flashed into Rosalie's mind. "Anyone who don't understand shouldn't be here." She added harshly.

_Well, that was obviously meant for me. Guess I'll ignore it, don't want Blondie thinking she got to me. Boy, she sure is a piece of work. Wonder what Emmett sees in her? She's a completely self absorbed psycho. I'm just glad Bella is feeling better, maybe this over protective she-leech will back off. _I wanted to chuckle at Jacob's thoughts, and almost hoped he stuck around a bit more, he had the perfect personality to really get on my sister's nerves.

Carlisle took the cup from Bella, intending to get her more blood. "I'll be right back."

Bella watched Carlisle leave and then turned to Jake. "Jake, you look awful"

"Look who's talking."

"Seriously -- When's the last time you slept?"

_Hmmm, when was the last time I slept? _"Huh. I'm not actually sure."

"Aw, Jake. Now I'm messing with your health, too. Don't be stupid."

Jacob rolled his eyes. _She's allowed to kill herself for a monster, but I'm not allowed to miss a few nights' sleep to watch her do it?_

"Get some rest, please. There's a few beds upstairs -- you're welcome to any of them."

_Like hell he is! I won't have that dog's stench smelling up our top floor too._ Rosalie's thoughts transferred to her face, and made it very clear to Jacob that he _wasn't _welcome to use any of our beds.

"Thanks, Bells, but I'd rather sleep on the ground. Away from the stench, you know."

She grimaced. "Right"

Carlisle was back, and Bella automatically reached for the cup and began drinking. She pulled herself up into a sitting position and Carlisle was immediately shocked at the amount of strength she gained in such a short period of time. Bella finished the second cup much quicker than the first.

"How do you feel now?" He asked her, reaching for the empty cup.

Bella handed over the cup "Not sick. Sort of hungry. . . only I'm not sure if I'm hungry or _thirsty_, you know?"

"Carlisle, Just look at her!" Rosalie's voice dripped with smugness and excitement. "This is obviously what her body wants. She should drink more."

"She's still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let's give her a while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound good to you, Bella?"

"Eggs" She answered immediately and then looked over at me with a silly expression on her face. We both smiled, presumably both remembering the garbage can full of egg cartons on Isle Esme.

I could hear Jacob's thoughts shift to how tired he was, and sleep. "Jacob, you really should sleep. As Bella said, you're certainly welcome to the accommodations here, though you'd probably be more comfortable outside. Don't worry about anything -- I promise I'll find you if there's a need."

"Sure, sure." He mumbled. _Now that Bella has a few more hours, I can get some sleep in. Maybe I'll curl up under a tree, away from the smell. If something goes wrong, the bloodsucker can come and get me. He _owes_ me._

"I do." I agreed.

Jacob nodded and then put his hand on Bella's. "Feel better" He told her.

"Thanks, Jacob."

Jacob turned to leave "Get her a blanket or something." _She's freezing cold._ Before Jacob made it to the front door two howls pierced the air. "Dammit" He snarled and hauled himself out the door and off the porch, phasing in the process. _Crap. Those are the only clothes I have._

"What's going on?" Esme asked, coming into the room and placing a blanket she had brought on Bella. "There you are, Dear. It's nice to see you looking so well."

"Thanks Esme." Bella smiled.

"I'm not sure exactly" I answered Esme's question "Seems there are at least three approaching."

"Did they split up?" Jasper asked, coming into the room with Alice and Emmett. Emmett quickly walked across the room and pulled Rosalie into an embrace and then quickly placed himself between her and the door.

"Leah's running the perimeter to check." _So far, no other point of attack "_Seems it's just three" Everyone visibly relaxed.

Bella grabbed my hand, and looked at me concerned. "Jacob. Edward, you need to make sure Jacob is ok."

"He's fine right now, Love. We don't know yet if this is an attack, doesn't seem like it though. Looks like there's 4 of them, three wolves and a man."

"Sounds like they just want to have a meeting." Jasper said, thoughtfully.

"They've met up with each other. It's Jared, Paul, Quil and Collin. I can hear Jared. They're just hear to talk. To try and persuade them to come back to La Push, and the pack. They've had a meeting with the Elders and have decided that immediate action in is no one's best interest at the moment."

_Translation: They've lost the element of surprise. _Leah thought. I chuckled at Leah's thought "Leah's a smart one. Hmmm, Billy and Sue agree with Jacob. They want to wait until Bella is. . . separated from the - um - fetus before anything is done. They don't feel comfortable killing Bella."

A look of shock registered on Esme's face. "They're going to try to kill the baby?"

Bella instantly wrapped her hands around her belly and Rosalie hissed

"Well, they've decided to wait and see if there's a problem with the. . . fetus, later. Jacob, Seth and Leah think they're all planning on Bella dying anyway, and Jacob being so upset that he'll lead the attack on us himself."

A look of horror registered on Bella's face. "Oh, Bella" I said, realizing I had relayed to much information in front of her "I'm so sorry, Love. I wasn't thinking. . . "

"No, no, it's ok, Edward. I want to know. . . I just -- was surprised."

"Jacob's phased back, he's talking to Jared now. Jared's trying to guilt them into coming back."

"Guilt doesn't work on Jacob, especially when he's doing something he thinks is right" Bella said.

"What are they trying to guilt them with?" Carlisle asked

"The fact that they're homeless, and clothes-less and have to eat in wolf form because they don't have any food. Apparently Leah doesn't like that much, although Jacob's used to it from when he spent all that time away. Not sure about Seth, he seems indifferent."

Esme looked concerned with this piece of news. "Edward, are they really without homes and clothes?"

"For now. They can't go back to La Push. Having two Alpha's so close would cause a power struggle. Jacob doesn't want that."

"I don't like this." Esme said quietly, thoughtfully. "They can have some of our clothes. Seth and Jacob can wear some of Emmett's clothes, Leah would probably fit into mine. Edward, I need you to talk to Jacob, make sure all three of them know that they are welcome to accommodations here, and of course, anything in our cupboards."

"I will let Jacob know."

"Anymore news?" Carlisle asked

"They've agreed to watch the treaty lines. The La Push pack will stay on their side, Jacob's pack will stay on ours. If they need to talk again, they will howl. That seems to be it. Jared and the other's are retreating."

"Well, that's good news for now." Carlisle said "Bella how would you like to get that iv out? I think it's safe to put the room back to normal now. Esme dear, it's probably safe to take the shutters off the windows."

Esme and Bella's faces lit up. Esme went to take care of the shutters and Carlisle removed the iv. "Jasper, Rosalie, Alice and I will rearrange the living room. Emmett, when Jacob phased he ripped his last set of clothes. Can you get him something from your closet and put it on the porch. He's on his way back here, and I don't think your wife would appreciate him coming in naked."

_Ick_ I heard Rosalie think. "Just as I thought" I said with a small chuckle.

Bella grabbed my hand then, a huge smile on her face as she stood to wrap her arms around me. "It's nice to see you laughing and joking again, even if it's just little ones." She whispered in my ear.

I turned my head in and gave her light kisses on the neck. "It's nice to see you with some strength and colour." I said, then swept her up in my arms. "Let's get you back to the couch, though." I placed her down on the couch Jasper had just brought into the room and covered Bella back up with the blanket. We got the room in order in no time. Rosalie picked out a movie for Bella to watch and put it on the tv. Jasper and Alice retreated back to their room. Emmett tried to get Rosalie to join him in their room, but she was having none of it. After several minutes of being shot down, Emmett sulked upstairs to spend time with Alice and Jasper.

I sat down next to Bella and wrapped my arms around her. And there we sat, waiting for Jacob's return.


	13. Another Clean Break

**AN - Sorry about the wait. I've been fiddling and struggling with this chapter. I'm not sure about it. My first draft felt too rambly, then I took stuff out and it felt too broken and choppy. So this is my third draft, not quite as long and rambly as the first. Still not sure I'm happy with it, but that's probably just because I've been editing it so much and nitpicking. **

**Disclaimer: I own none of it, this is just for fun. Not copyright infringement intended.**

Chapter 13

I heard Jacob approach the house 2 and half minutes later. _Everything's cool_ He thought. _What is that? Oh, clothes. Edward must've caught my moment of irritation when I ripped my last set of clothes._

"Jacob's back" I announced and felt Bella sit up eagerly in my arms.

"Really?" She asked, her face lighting up.

"Yes, Love. He's just gone to change into the clothes we put out there for him. He took them into the woods to make sure they're men's clothes. He seems to have this idea that Rosalie would leave a sundress out there for him." I tried to keep my tone light, but inside I was crushed at the look on Bella's face when I mentioned that Jacob was coming back soon. The jealousy I haven't felt in a while soared through me, it seemed the more I fought it, the worse it was.

"That's crazy" Bella responded, but I could hear Rosalie wishing she'd thought of that in her head.

"Which one would you give him?" I asked Rosalie, slightly amused.

"You wouldn't!" Bella looked at her shocked.

"Of course not." She reassured her, but mumbled "He would ruin a perfectly good dress" under her breath, too low for Bella to hear.

Jacob was approaching the house, mentally complaining about the clothes being too small. I'd have to get Alice to buy Jacob some bigger clothes.

"Is he coming back soon?" Bella asked me impatiently.

"Yes, he's standing at the front door, trying to decide whether or not to just walk in."

The front door opened and Jacob walked in, surprised at the change in the living room in such a short time. I glanced up at him when he walked in the living room. Bella, noticing the movement, glanced up too, a huge smile crossed her face I tried to read her face, figure out why she was so happy to see him, if she seems so happily married _to me_. Jacob was wondering the same thing, I looked up and gave a small sigh, then looked back to Bella. Did she want Jacob more? Was she started to regret not ending up with him? She looked over to me, and her look of excitement and eagerness changed to a face radiating love, extinguishing my sudden fears immediately.

"They just wanted to talk." Jacob finally said. "No attack on the horizon." He sounded tired. Barely managing to get his words out.

"Yes," I answered. "I heard most of it"

"How?" Jacob asked, completely surprised.

"I'm hearing you more clearly - it's a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when you're in your human form. So I caught most of what passed out there."

"Oh." Was all he said for a minute, he was trying to decide whether or not to be upset. "Good. I hate repeating myself." he added with a shrug.

"I'd tell you to go get some sleep," Bella said "but my guess is that you're going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there's probably no point." Bella said. Jacob shot his tongue out at her and then turned towards the door, counting out the seconds as he walked.

"One Mississippi, Two mississippi. . ."

"Where's the flood, Mutt?" Rosalie whispered, a smirk on her face.

"You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie?" Jacob asked her with out stopping or turning around. "Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool." He added, shutting the door behind him. I chuckled at the look on Rosalie's face.

"I've already heard that one!" She called after him _Try coming up with something more original next time._

I looked towards the door, and over at Bella, a look of apology sweeping across my face. I could tell from Jacob's thoughts that he was still out in the front yard, and I knew this was my opportunity to talk to him, like I'd promised Esme. Bella seemed to be doing fine, and a few minutes away from her would be fine. I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead.

"Rosalie, can you keep an eye on Bella for me for a few minutes?"

"Where are you going?" Bella asked. I felt her tense up in my arms, and she looked almost terrified at the thought of me being away, even for just a few moments.

"There was something I forgot to say to him."

"Let Jacob Sleep - It can wait." Her face changed to reveal determination and concern for her friend. Jealousy flared within me again. It was not easy for me to see _my wife_ so eager and protective of another man. What was with her lately?

"It will only take a moment." I said reassuringly and sprinted out the door. Jacob was indeed in our backyard, half undressed and looking quite tired. I smiled apologetically at him.

"Jeez, what now?" He asked me.

"I'm sorry." I said, then paused. I wasn't quite sure how to phrase what I need to say so I didn't offend him. For whatever reason, Bella liked, no _needed_ to have him around right now, and I couldn't do anything to upset the situation. She was fragile right now, and I was walking a fine line so as not to disturb her delicate environment.

_What's on your mind, mindreader?_

"When you were speaking to Sam's delegates earlier, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest - " I hesitated again

"Look, we're not dropping our guard. You don't have to believe Sam like we do. We're keeping our eyes open regardless."

"No, no, Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it."

Jacob looked confused at my words. "Hardships?"

"The _homeless_ part, particularly. She's very upset that you are all so. . .bereft."

Jacob snorted, apparently finding the thought of Esme being a vampire and such a mother hen funny. "We're tough." He responded. "Tell her not to worry."

I was trying my hardest to keep calm now. He insulted my mother, and shrugged off her worry. She was trying her hardest to do what was right here, she certainly didn't deserve to be insulted in this mutt's head.

"She'd still like to do what she can. I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?"

"And?" He demanded.

"Well, we do have normal human food here, Jacob. Keeping up appearances, and of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything she'd like. All of you are."

"I'll pass that along."

"Leah hates us." I added

"So?" He answered, quite rudely

I was having more trouble keeping my conversation light and calm. "So try to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you don't mind." I snapped.

"I'll do what I can."

"And then there's the matter of clothes." I started, finding my calm again. I reminded myself I was doing this for Bella and Esme.

"Oh yeah, thanks." _I guess it wouldn't be good manners to mention how much they reeked. . ._

I smiled a little at his thought, "Well, we're easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to ear the same thing twice. We've got piles of brand-new clothes that are destined for Goodwill., and I'd imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esme's size."

"Not sure how she'll feel about bloodsucker cast off's. She's not as practical as I am."

"I trust that you will present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please. . . don't consider yourselves without the benefits of a home."

Jacob paused to think about my offer. "That's, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay pretty clean, thanks."

"If you would pass the offer on, regardless."

"Sure, sure." He agreed quickly, trying to end the conversation quickly so he could sleep.

"Thank you." He turned away from me, and in an instant I saw, in Rosalie's mind, a look of pain cross Bella's face, followed by a low, pained cry. I shot in to the house as quick as I could. Carlisle and Esme were on their way into the living room as I entered the house. I quickly surveyed the scene upon entering, Bella was bent over on the floor in Rosalie's arms, a look of pure pain spread across her face. She hugged her bulging stomach tightly. Her breath was ragged, panting, but her heartbeat was still strong.

"Rosalie. . . " I started.

_I don't know, Edward. She was fine! We were talking about the baby, she was smiling and laughing and then all of a sudden her face changed and she doubled over, screaming._

I nodded once, and looked to Carlisle. He was beside Bella, attempting to examine her. "Bella," He said quietly. "Bella, I need to you sit up."

"Give me a second, Carlisle,"

"Bella," He said anxiously "I heard something crack. I need to take a look."

"Pretty sure" Bella caught her breath with a wince. "it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right here." She moved an arm from her stomach and pointed to her left side, careful not to touch her ribcage. I groaned internally, just when we thought things were getting better, that thing was breaking her ribs!

"I need to take an X-Ray." Carlisle explained "There might be splinters. We don't want it to puncture anything."

"Ok." Bella said, with a deep breath.

Rosalie lifted Bella carefully. I opened my mouth to argue with her. _It should be _me _carrying her _ I thought _she's my wife after all, that's my. . . fetus. . . destroying her after all._ Rosalie saw the look on my face and barred her teeth. "I've already got her." She snapped. _We can't juggle her around too much, it's not good for her rib. If something shifts to much it could be deadly for Bella, or the baby_ I was still shocked to hear Rosalie's thoughts becoming more protective of Bella, and less possessive of the baby as the days passed. Perhaps all this time they were spending together was _good_ for their relationship. Rosalie turned carefully and headed up the stairs with Bella. Carlisle and I followed. We entered the attic, where we were keeping all the hospital equipment. Rosalie placed Bella down on the table gently and came over to me and took my hand as Carlisle positioned Bella on the table.

_Edward, I'm not sure how much more of this she can take. _Rosalie thought

_"_You should have thought of that before you became her body guard, and "protected" her from us." I snapped, but kept my voice quiet enough that Bella wouldn't hear.

_She loved that baby before I got involved, Edward. If you had taken that baby away from her, she never would've forgiven you. You would've destroyed your marriage. . . and Bella in the process. You remember what losing you did to her, right? What do you think would happen if she lost her _baby?_ STOP sulking. It's not good for her. You need to accept this. This baby is coming soon. She only has about a week left, and then she'll give birth and become a vampire and you won't have to worry so much. And stop snapping at me. I know my reasons for helping her in the beginning weren't the best, and I'm sorry for that, but my reason's have changed now._

I looked over at Rosalie. She looked genuine and appologetic. I wasn't sure what to think. I'd never heard Rosalie appologize before. She was right though. If I had succeeded in my plan to force Bella into aborting the fetus, I would've lost her. She might not have left physically, but she wouldn't have been _my _Bella anymore. I nodded once. "You're right." I whishpered.

_I usually am. _Her smile quickly turned in a hard line. and _if you tell ANYONE that I appoligized to YOU, I will rip your arms off._

_That's the Rosalie I know _ I thought, with a chuckle.

Carlisle finished the X-ray. I headed over to the other side of the attic, to where Carlisle was examining the pictures of Bella's ribs.

"Another clean break." Carlisle told me, while showing me the broken rib. "We'll wrap it up and it'll be healed in no time." I grimaced looking at the x-ray. It wasn't the first time Bella had broken a rib, and this x-ray was another reminder to me of her encounter with James in Phoenix not that long ago. The vision of her laying broken on the ballet studio floor suddenly flashed before me. The feelings I had tried to forget of finding her broken on the floor, thinking I had lost her that night, resurfaced. I recalled the screaming, as the venom James had injected her with when he bit her, made it's way up her arm into her system. I had sucked that venom back out, causing the fire to cease and her to remain a human, fragile and alive. She had been so disappointed to wake up in the hospital, arguing with me over my choice to leave her human. What if I had let it spread. She wouldn't be human now, suffering through a pregnancy with a half vampire child, that was slowly draining and beating her body. I shook my head, not allowing myself to think about anymore 'what-ifs'. The past was the past and there was no way to change it now.

I turned back to Bella and Carlisle was just finishing wrapping her ribs up. She was looking at me, curious. I rushed over to her side, taking her hand in mine. "How are you feeling, Love?"

"Better" She answered. "It doesn't hurt nearly as much, now that it's wrapped up. He's getting stronger too, I guess."

"Yes, it seems. . . _he _is."

"Are you alright?" She asked, reaching up to run her free hand across my cheek.

"I'm fine, Love. No need to worry about me right now. Let's get you back downstairs."

I picked Bella up carefully, and walked down the stairs with her at a human pace, so as not to jiggle her rib cage to much. I placed her on the couch, and sat down beside her. She shivered slightly so I wrapped her in a blanket, making sure there were at least 2 layers between her and I. She opened her mouth to protest, but I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Bella, you're cold. I'm not going to let you sacrifice your health just to be close to me."

"Bella," Alice asked quietly from the corner of the room. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh." Bella said, jumping slightly and then giggling. "I didn't see you there!"

Alice let out a little giggle of her own. "I'm sorry for startling you. I came down to sit with Jacob. My headache disappears when he's around."

"Oh" She said, then looked over to Jacob. I tried to place the look that came across her face when her eyes fell on his sleeping form. It looked like a cross between elation and _need._ I wondered to myself again what was going on with her. Even when she was struggling with her feelings for both of us, she never looked at him this way, or acted this way around him. Why was she starting this now that we were married. Had she changed her mind? Surely I would've noticed her treating me differently. She treated me the same as always though, with nothing but love and admiration. Was it the pregnancy messing with her emotions then? That _must _be it. "I'm feeling ok, I guess. Carlisle bandaged up my rib. I've had worse." She said with a shrug and a yawn followed soon after.

I got up quickly and laid Bella down on the couch. I leaned over her and kissed her cheek "Sleep, Love." I whispered into her ear, and then swiftly shifted to the end of the couch and glided under her feet.

"Edward?" She asked me, looking over at me

"Yes?"

"Will you sing me my lullaby?"

"Of course." I responded with a smile, and began to hum her lullaby.

Bella was in and out of sleep all afternoon and evening. The thing inside her woke her constantly. If it moved too much it would send a new wave of pain along her broken rib.

Shortly after 4 am Bella sat up suddenly and let out a scream. I had been resting on the couch, her feet on my lap, with my eyes closed, mesmerized from listening to the sound of her beating heart. My head shot up immediately, and Rosalie was already on her feet and grabbing a hold of Bella

"What is it? Another rib?" Rosalie asked Bella, concerned.

"No" Bella gasped. "I. . . I thought. . . they were coming. . .my son. . ." She wasn't making any sense, her words sounded broken, just fragments of the sentences she was trying to get out. Suddenly she looked up at me, and threw herself across the couch into my arms. "Oh, Edward!" She sobbed "Just a dream, Just a dream." She chanted quietly to herself.

"I'm here, my love. Everything will be fine." I tried to reassure her. She sobbed in my arms for a few more minutes, eventually falling back to sleep. I laid her back down on the couch and covered her back up.

I heard faint footstep outside, followed by a light tap on the front door. Rosalie's head snapped up, she sniffed at the air and let out a low growl.

"It's just Seth." I assured her, already on my way to the door. "Hello, Seth." I greeted him as I opened the door. "Please, come in."

"I've actually just come to check for Jacob. Leah insisted I come." He rolled his eyes. _I don't understand why she doesn't trust the Cullens._

"He's just in the living room, sleeping."

"Oh, that's what I figured." He said, with a smile. "How's Bella?"

"She's fine, she's sleeping as well. She's getting stronger, unfortunately so is the fetus. She suffered a broken rib today." I said with a sigh.

_Poor Bella, _I heard Seth think, then his thoughts turned to hunger as his stomach let out a growl.

"Seth, why don't you sit down. I'll get you something to eat."

"Thanks Edward!"

When I entered the kitchen Esme was already making Seth a sandwich. She handed me the plate.

"Let him know this is just to tide him over. I'll start making some cinnamon buns, I thought Bella might like some comfort food for breakfast, after her nightmare." Esme said lovingly. I could hear the worry in her voice, and mind. "Make sure he stays, he needs a proper breakfast

I smiled at her thankfully and kissed her on the cheek. She pulled me into a hug, and I started to sob on her shoulder. I hadn't broken down before now. I felt like I was slowly loosing my mind. I had gone through so many emotions since this whole twisted pregnancy started, but the fear of losing Bella had never been so sharp until I was in Esme's loving arms. Esme was the only one I could break down in front of like this. She was my mother, and I her son. The last 24 hours had just been too much for me, and at this moment I had to let it out somehow. With my mother seemed like the best idea.

She rubbed my back, trying to comfort me. "Everything will be fine." She reassured me. "She will make it through this. She's strong. Stronger than any of us. She loves you too much to leave you here all alone, Edward. Her determination to spend the rest of eternity with you is what will pull her through. She is far too stubborn for death."

I laughed at Esme's assessment. "You're right, you know. She is too stubborn for death."

_Go and be with her, Edward. She is stirring. _

I ran back to the living room, handing Seth the plate with the sandwich. "Thanks" He said, mouth already full with a huge bite of his food.

I chuckled softly, "That's just to tide you over, Esme would really like it if you could stay for breakfast. She won't take no for an answer."

"Cool." He said, a big grin plastered across his face.

I looked down at Bella, who's eyes were open, a small smile spread across her lips.

"Good morning" I said, leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead. Her heart skipped a couple beats and then fluttered. _I'm really going to miss this reaction. _I thought to myself.

"Hi." She sighed. "What time is it?"

"Just after 4:30 am. Are you hungry?" I asked

"A little." She answered.

"What can I get you?"

A grin played across her lips.

"Eggs." We both said at the same time.

"How does a cheese omelet sound?" I asked.

"It's sounds perfect." She answered.

"Seth?" I asked

"I'd love one! Thanks!"

"I'll be back soon, my love." I said, placing another kiss on Bella's forehead.

I could hear Esme pulling things out of the fridge, as I neared the kitchen.

"I've pulled out the eggs, cheese and milk. I also pulled out the bacon. I thought they might like some meat. It's all here on the counter. The cinnamon buns just went into the oven. They'll be done in 25 minutes. I'd like to go and greet Seth, and spend a few moments with Carlisle before he leaves for the hospital."

"Of course." I answered. Esme left the kitchen gracefully, leaving me alone to do the cooking. Thankfully I was very proficient at making eggs at this point, especially omelets. I got to work beating eggs and grating cheese. The bacon popped and crackled in the skillet. I flipped the bacon, and pulled the cinnamon rolls out of the oven and set them down to cool. When the omelets were done, I slid one onto each plate, divided the bacon amongst them and put one cinnamon roll on each. I covered two of the plates, to keep the contents warm. One for leah and one for Jacob when he woke. I brought the other two plates into the living room. I handed one to Bella and one to Seth.

"I've got a plate made up for Leah, I thought I would bring it out the the edge of the forrest for her." I said to Seth. He sighed and set his plate down.

"I should bring it to her. That way there's at least a _chance _she'll eat it."

I chuckled. "Whatever you think."

He got up quickly, running to the kitchen and out the back door with Leah's plate of food. I sat down next to Bella on the couch. She was already digging in to her omelet. She picked up her cinnamon roll, taking a huge bite.

"Oh, Edward. These are amazing!"

"Compliment Esme on those, she made them. I just pulled them out of the oven."

Seth was already making his way back into the house now. I felt Bella shudder beside me. "Are you ok?" I asked her

"Cold" She whispered, pulling her blankets up higher. "can you get me another blanket?"

"I have a better idea." I smiled, looking up to Seth, who was just entering the living room. "Seth, would you mind sitting with Bella on the couch? She's cold, and you'll warm her up better than a blanket."

"Sure" He said, happily, grabbing his plate of food and heading over to the couch.

"I'll get you a drink." I whispered to Bella and disappeared to the attic to get Bella another cup of blood.

When I got back down to the living room Bella was sitting up in the middle of the couch, Seth on one side of her with his arm placed lazily over her shoulders. Rosalie was sitting in front of Bella, her head resting on Bella's knee. Alice was sitting off the the side, by Seth. They were all watching something on tv, except for Carlisle, who was on Bella's other side, taking out her IV. Bella looked up as I entered the room. "I'm a free woman now!" She said happily as Carlisle rolled up the iv tubes into themselves and got up off the couch.

"Lucky you." I said, handing her the cup.

We sat in silence, staring at the tv but not really watching.

"Hey, Jake's coming around!" Seth said suddenly.

Jacob looked up at Seth. _What the hell?_

"He came to find you." I answered his confused thoughts. "And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast."

"Yeah, Jake -- I was just checking to see if you were okay 'cause you didn't ever phase back. Leah got worried. I _told_ her you probably just crashed human, but you know how she is. Anyway, the had all this food and, _dang -" _He turned to me "- man, you can _cook._"

"Thank you." I murmured, keeping an eye on Jacob, who couldn't take his eyes off of Seth's arm around Bella's shoulders. "Bella got cold." I said quietly. I was a little ticked that I had to explain to _him_ why a friend of ours had his arm around _my wife._

_Right. None of my business anyway. She's not mine._ He thought as he lowered his gaze.

_Crap. _ Seth thought, as he lowered his arm. _I didn't realize Jacob would care so much._

Jacob got up and strolled to the couch, closer to Seth. "Leah running patrol?"

"Yeah, she's on it. No worries. She'll howl if there's anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran 12 hours." He said proudly.

Jacob's eyes widened in shock. "Midnight? wait- what time is it now?"

"'Bout dawn." Seth answered glancing towards the window.

"Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake."

"Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You haven't taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like Forty hours? Fifty? You're not a machine Jake. 'Sides, you didn't miss anything at all."

Jacob looked down a Bella, looking her over and thinking how much better she looked this morning. "How's the rib?" He asked.

"Taped up nice and tight. I don't even feel it." She answered non-chalantly.

I ground my teeth together. I didn't like hearing her be so dismissive of her injuries.

"What's for breakfast?" Jacob asked sarcastically. "O negative or AB positive?"

Bella stuck her tongue out at Jacob, and I shot him a glare he didn't seem to notice. "Omelets" She answered.

"Go get some breakfast, Jake." Seth said. "There's a bunch in the kitchen. You've got to be empty."

Jacob's stomach growled but he ignored it while examining the food on Seth's plate. "What's Leah having for Breakfast?" He asked critically

"Hey, I took food to her before I ate anything!" Seth said defensively. "She said she'd rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls. . . "

"I'll go hunt with her then." Jacob said abruptly.

"A moment, Jacob?" Carlisle asked from the bottom of the stairs. Jacob walked over to him, and I could hear in Carlisle's mind that he intended on speaking to him about our hunting. Hunting held no interest for me right now, since I didn't plan on going until after Bella had been changed and I knew she was fine. I only half listened to their conversation, they were discussing the best strategy for the family to get out and do some hunting, without coming across Sam's pack. Carlisle's plan brought me out of my thoughts.

"We've got some extra abilities that will even it up, if Edward is one of the three, he'll be able to give us a few miles' radius of safety." Carlisle planned. I shot a look at him, that left no room for doubt that I was _not_ to be included in the hunting parties. "I'm sure there are other ways too." He backtracked. "Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?"

"The one's that disappear, " Alice said "Easy." I relaxed knowing that Carlisle was satisfied with Alice's answer and was now planing the trips, without me included.

"Okay, then." Jacob said "That's settled. I'll just be on my way. Seth, I'll expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?"

"Sure Jake. I'll phase as soon as I'm done. Unless. . . " He stopped and looked at Bella "Do you need me?"

"She's got blankets." Jacob snapped at him.

"I'm fine Seth, thanks." Bella said quickly.

Esme flitted into the room then, the covered Dish with the breakfast I had prepared for Jacob in her hands.

"Jacob. I know it's. . . unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you can't go home, and that's because of us. Please -- ease on of my remorse. Take something to eat." She held the food out to him.

_Jeez, she reminds me of my _Mom. "Uh, sure, sure." He mumbled. "Maybe Leah's still hungry or something." He reached out and took the food. _I'll dump it under a tree or something, when I'm far enough away _He thought. _I don't want her to feel bad. Crap...Edward! Don't you say anything to her! Let her think I ate it!_

I didn't look up at Jacob, and he didn't look at me. I would never tell Esme such a thing, it would break her heart.

"Thank you, Jacob." Esme said.

"Um, thank you."

"Will you come back later, Jake?" Bella asked, impatiently. She looked terrified that she might not be seeing him later.

"Uh, I don't know." He responded. His mind was battling itself, trying to decide if coming to see her was worth sitting in a house full of vampires, watching her interact with her husband and enduring our _stench_. I rolled my eyes.

"Please? I might get cold." She asked, fighting a smile. I wasn't sure what the smile was all about, I was really wishing, once again, that I could read her mind. I wonder if that will change when she becomes a vampire?

"Maybe." He said finally, turning to leave.

"Jacob?" Esme asked. "I left a basket of clothes on the porch. They're for Leah. They're freshly washed -- I tried to touch them as little as possible. Do you mind taking them to her?"

"On it." He muttered, and then headed out the door.


	14. Similarities

**AN- Sorry about the wait everyone!**

**Disclaimer - I'm not Stephenie Meyer, I don't own these characters or the story. I'm just usig it for my own amusement. Some of the quotes are taken directly from Breaking Dawn.**

Chapter 14

"Hey, Edward? Can I ask you something I'm curious about?" Seth asked me, not long after Jacob left. We were alone in the living room now, everyone in the family was going about their business, Rosalie was helping Bella bathe in the upstairs bathroom. Helping Bella bathe was usually my only alone time with my wife, but today I offered to stay behind and keep Seth company. I didn't feel comfortable leaving him alone with Rosalie. Jacob held his own against her cruel remarks, but Seth was young and innocent. Her cruelty could really hurt his feelings.

"Of course."

_Why are you still here? Why not leave?_

I sighed. How I had wished we could just leave all this trouble with Sam and the Quileutes behind. "We can't" I finally said. "If we left, we'd be starting from scratch, including Carlisle. With Bella in this condition, it's not the wisest decision. It takes a while to build up the kind of medical access Carlisle has here. He has all the stuff he needs to take care of Bella, and the credentials to get more."

"Oh." He said, looking down at his hands. "Can't you just get stuff off the internet? Some kind of black market thing?"

I chuckled darkly at his question "Yes, I'm sure we could. We could easily steal stuff as well, but I'd rather not take the risk in moving her. She needs to be careful of movement now. That thing is getting stronger, with all the blood Bella has been drinking, and it's a small beating for Bella every time it moves. I --"

Our conversation was interrupted by a scream from upstairs. I shot to my feet and ran up the stairs before I had a chance to even think of saying something to Seth. I reached the bathroom door, only to see Seth beside me.

"Seth." I said quietly. "My wife is very nude in there. It would be best if you stayed out here."

Seth blushed a bright shade of crimson. "Right." He said, backing away from the door and turning to face the wall.

I entered the bathroom quickly. Bella was in Rosalie's arms. She was dripping wet, obviously just pulled out of the tub, tears streaming down her face. I grabbed a towel and placed it around her as best I could.

"Ed - ward" She panted. "I think - he - broke another - ow - rib"

"She attempted to get out the the tub herself. The baby kicked with her sudden movement, I guess." Rosalie explained

"Let's get you to Carlisle, Love" I said calmly, kissing her forehead. Inside I was anything but calm. I was fuming. By the time she gave birth to this damn thing, all of the ribs, and probably her hips would be broken. I despised seeing my love's blackened, bruised stomach. I still didn't understand her connection to this thing.

"Place her on the table." Carlisle instructed when we entered the attic. He already had the xray machine ready. "I'll be right back." He said, after taking a couple xrays of her ribcage.

"Bella..." I pleaded, my forehead resting against hers.

"Don't even think about saying out loud what you're thinking, Edward." She said

I pulled my head back and studied her face. "I thought _I_ was the mind reader." I said sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"I don't need to be, your face is an open book right now. I _will not _have this conversation with you though. You should already know that when my mind is made up, there's no changing it."

"Don't start again Edward. Bella has thought this all through and is prepared. Leave her alone." Rosalie added in to the conversation. I shot her a death glare, contemplating ripping her arms off.

"Edward. Rosalie." Bella said quietly. "Let's drop this conversation, _please_?"

I turned my glare from Rosalie, and softened when I looked down at Bella laying on the table. "Sorry, Love" I apologized. I looked at her closer then, little beads of sweat were starting to form on her forehead and she looked flushed. "Are you in pain love?" I asked

"No. Hot."

"You should have said something sooner!" Rosalie chided

Bella just shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't want to bother anyone." She said quietly.

"It's not a bother." I said as I carefully picked her up and held her to my body, hoping to cool her off a bit. "Bella! You're burning up!"

"Am I?" She asked, not seeming concerned. "I've been on a never ending cycle of hot and cold, I guess I didn't notice."

Carlisle walked in then, a thermometer in his hand. He looked calm and together, but I could tell from his thoughts that he was quite concerned. "Bella, your rib is in fact broken. I'm going to tape you up a little more so both ribs are supported. I would like you to put this thermometer in your mouth while I tape you up."

Bella giggled "All this money, and access to the best medical supplies and you're still using an old mercury thermometer. Here I thought the great Doctor Cullen would have the most expensive, newest and greatest super instant read ear thermometer."

Carlisle laughed softly. "I guess I'm old fashioned" he said, with a wink. "Ear thermometers aren't as accurate as taking your temperature orally. I just want to make sure, leave as little room for inaccuracies as possible." He explained.

"Hey!" I heard from downstairs "If you want to make it as accurate as possible you really should put that thermometer in her - "

"Emmett!" I cut him off just in time.

"What?" He asked, trying to sound innocent. I rolled my eyes.

"100.8" Carlisle said as he pulled out the thermometer. "Just a low grade fever. Your body could be fighting off an infection or something. It's not unusual for a human to have an unexplained fever. We'll keep an eye on it, just to make sure it doesn't get any higher. Your rib is all taped up now, and you're free to go back to the living room."

I stood up, Bella still cradled in my arms, and carried her downstairs. I placed her on the couch carefully, trying to move her as little as possible.

"How are you?" Seth asked, looking at Bella with concern.

She shrugged. "Another broken rib and a low grade fever. Just another day in the life of Bella." She said with a giggle.

"It broke another rib? Ouch. Is it getting too strong to stay inside you?" He asked

"Even _human_ babies have been known to break a rib." Rosalie responded.

I shot Rosalie another glare. I was grinding my teeth together to try and stop the snarl that wanted to rip from my throat. I was trying my hardest not to start a fight with my sister, but she was making it very difficult today. The phone rang, breaking me out of my most recent train of thought.

Esme answered in the kitchen. "Hello?" She asked "Oh yes, of course. Just a minute." She said after a short pause.

"Bella, it's for you dear." She said as she walked into the living room with the cordless phone "Charlie"

"Hello?" Bella asked into the phone, excitement pouring through her voice.

_"You're sounding better" _I heard charlie say through the phone.

"I'm feeling better" She responded. "I'm on the mend." I shot her an incredulous look. How on earth could she be so silly? _Why _would she tell him that? In less than a week she was going to give birth and be changed into a vampire, and then we would have to tell Charlie she died. He would be crushed now that he thought she was on the mend.

"No, you still can't come visit. Carlisle doesn't think visitors are an option right now."

"_You'll tell me the minute I can come over right?_" He asked

"Of course I will, Dad!"

"_Ok Bells. I should probably go now, let you get your rest. Glad you're feeling better. Say hi to Edward and his family for me. I'll see you soon, kiddo"_

"Bella," I started when she hit the off button on the phone. "Why? It's just going to be harder for him, next week, when we have to tell him that you didn't make it." I kept my voice low, and steady, almost pleading, so as not to sound accusing. I didn't want to upset her, but I needed to know what she was thinking.

"He's my Dad, Edward. I couldn't stand the hurt in his voice. I needed to give him some hope!"

"But there is no hope! You're becoming a vampire, and you won't be able to see him!"

"Well, I have an idea for that too. I know I can't see him the first year, we can just tell him I had to go away somewhere, some special hospital or something. Then, when that first year is over, we can see him again. He'll know something is different, and he'll make a guess. It'll be wrong, but we'll let him live with it. That way he isn't a human who knows too much and I'll still get to see my Dad"

"He'll make a guess?"

"Yeah. That's what Jacob did with me. He wasn't allowed to me he was a werewolf, Sam forbade it. So, he asked me to guess. That's how we got around Sam's order. I guessed right though, Charlie won't guess right. We'll just let him think he did."

"Bella. . ." I was back to pleading again. "It doesn't always just work out like that, Love. You may not have the self control yet, after a year. We've been working on our self control for decades to be able to interact with humans. "

"It's what I want, Edward." She said firmly.

I sighed and looked over to see Seth passed out asleep on the floor. We sat in silence for several hours, allowing Seth to sleep. Rosalie was much more pleasant in her thoughts towards a sleeping Seth than she was when Jacob had fallen asleep here earlier. I supposed it was because it was very hard not to like someone so innocent and pure.

We put on a couple of movies. Emmett and Bella giggled their way through the new release of some vampire/werewolf movie. I tried my hardest not to pay attention, filling up my mind with more important thoughts. Emmett and Jasper were usually the only ones in the family who enjoyed watching asinine movies about vampires, I guess Bella would be a new edition to their vampire movie marathons.

Carlisle was in and out of the room all day, constantly checking Bella's fever, measuring her growth and bringing her cups of blood. Rosalie continued bringing her to the bathroom when she needed a human moment, and Esme would bring in snacks for her every now and then. I was starting to feel completely useless.

Alice and Jasper were in and out as well. Jasper found it difficult to be in the room with me, given my extreme moods lately, but enjoyed the pure joy radiating from Bella. Of course, with Seth in the room, Alice took every opportunity she could be around the family, especially Bella.

Seth woke up shortly after 1am. "Oh, shoot." He said, glancing at the clock. "Jacob asked me to be back by dusk! I so late." He stood and stretched "Thanks for everything guys, I gotta get going. See you soon!"

"Seth?" Bella asked quietly from the couch "Can you ask Jake to come by?"

"Sure"

"From me too" Alice said, getting up from her spot by Bella's feet, obviously ready to leave the room if Seth was leaving. "I hate hiding out in the attic like the vampire bat in the belfry."

Seth laughed "Sure, sure. I'll make sure to send in your own personal Advil." added with a wink.

Alice giggled and headed up the stairs to find Jasper, who was in Carlisle's study with Emmett, doing more research on myths of half vampire/half human offspring.

"Do you think he'll come?" Bella asked

"Of course he will." Seth answered. "He's Jacob, he'll always do what you ask."

"Seth's right." I whispered into her ear. "If you need him, he'll always be here."

Bella sighed, and nodded her head slowly. I could tell she was trying not to get her hopes up, incase he decided not to come. I wished I could explain fully to her the extent of Jacob's devotion to her, especially now. His pull to her had grown drastically just in the last couple days.

Bella sat and watched tv quietly after Seth left. She was propped up on a few pillows, snuggled into a blanket, resting her feet on my lap. I massaged her swollen feet and ankles for her. I had hoped she would go to sleep, but she seemed to be fighting it off. I saw her close her eyes, and then she groaned.

"Bella?" I asked "Bella, are you ok?"

"I have to use the bathroom." she whined "And I'm really comfortable. I don't want to move!" She opened her eyes slowly and looked apologetically at Rosalie. "I'm sorry, Rose."

"There's nothing to be sorry for." Rosalie answered, getting up from her spot on the floor by Bella's head. She reached under Bella and picked her up easily, carrying her off to the bathroom. Esme had been sitting in one of the arm chairs across the room, but came over and sat with me on the couch.

"How are you doing?" She asked me

I sighed, and put my head in my hands. "I'm scared. I feel like I'm going to lose her. I'm terrified that if this goes badly, that I'll blame everyone. Rosalie for helping Bella go along with this insane pregnancy, Carlisle for not knowing to warn us, Alice for not seeing this, Bella for wanting to keep the thing, and mostly myself, for being stupid enough to make love to her while she was human! I knew better."

"There was nothing that we could have known to do to prevent this. _You_ have nothing to feel bad about, my son. You made love to your wife. It's a perfectly natural thing to do. It's not _your_ fault that you're in this position. It's just the hand you and Bella have been dealt. Have some faith that things will work out in the end. You and Carlisle are extremely well prepared."

"What if we aren't prepared enough though? We don't know what's going to happen. What if this child is too strong for Bella and we can't save her fast enough. What if this child IS ok, and not a monster, but Bella doesn't make it. Will I ever be able to look at it again? Knowing that it killed my Love? Does a child deserve to have a father that hates it?"

"Just have some Faith." She whispered to me, putting her arms over my shoulders.

Jacob walked in then. _That outta piss of Blondie, just strolling in like that. Oh, crap, she's not even here. Wait, where's Bella? What the hell is with Edward? He's not. . . she's not. . . _

"She's all right," I answered, before he got too worked up "Or, the same, I should say."

"Hello, Jacob" Esme said from beside me. "I'm so glad you came back."

"Me too" I heard Alice sigh from the top of the stairs.

"Uh, hey." He responded, awkwardly. "Where's Bella?"

"Bathroom," Alice said, dancing into the room. "Mostly fluid diet, you know. Plus, the whole pregnancy thing does that you, I hear."

"Ah."

"Oh, wonderful." Rosalie grumbled from the hallway, "I knew I smelled something nasty."

"Jacob, you came." Bella breathed, a huge smile spreading across her face.

"Hi, Bells"

Esme and I both got up as Rosalie laid Bella back on the couch. She looked like she was in pain. I ran my hand across her forehead, down her cheek and across her neck, checking her temperature. "Are you cold?" I asked.

"I'm fine."

"Bella, you know what Carlisle told you," Rosalie said. "Don't downplay _anything_. It doesn't help us take care of either of you."

"Okay, I'm a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Isn't that sort of the point of me being here?"

You just walked in," Bella argued "After running all day, I'd bet. Put your feet up for a minute. I'll probably warm up again in no time."

Jacob was sitting beside her before she had finished her argument. I could hear his fear to move her too much, or hurt her by putting his arm around her, so he settled on holding her hand, and brought his other hand up to her cheek. It took every bit of restraint I had to keep the jealousy down, and not rip his hand from her face. Normally I could put up with his affections for Bella with more grace, but with the way Bella was suddenly looking at him, it was much harder to control the monster within.

"Thanks, Jake." Bella said, softly.

"Yeah."

I must admit, I didn't like the casual way he spoke to her. I found him completely disrespectful, but I supposed that was just the difference in the times we were raised. I sat there, taking in Bella's expression, and she didn't seem to mind the way he spoke to her. I recalled the time I had brought her to met Jacob at the territory line, and he simply honked twice to get her attention, instead of exiting the car like a man. When I had voiced my displeasure, Bella shrugged "That's Jacob." She told me. _Yes, _I thought to myself _that's Jacob indeed. _

A light rumbling from Jacob's stomach pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Rosalie, why don't you get Jacob something from the kitchen?" Alice said from behind the sofa.

Rosalie stared at the spot on the couch that Alice was sitting behind. _ME? You want ME to get him his damn food? Why should _I_ do it? I hate that stupid mongrel. I wouldn't care if he starved to death._

"Thanks, anyway, Alice, but I don't think I'd want to eat something Blondie's spit in. I'd bet my system wouldn't take too kindly to venom." Jacob answered, breaking Rosalie out of her thoughts.

"Rosalie would never embarrass Esme by displaying such a lack of hospitality."

"Of _course _not." Rosalie said, sounding much too nice to be up to any good. _I wonder if we have dog food in the cupboards. Poor fido must be STARVING. _She thought as she got up and breezed out of the room. I sighed, knowing we did not stock dog food on our last visit to the grocery store and wondering what else she'd come up with.

"You'd tell me if she poisoned it, right?" Jacob asked me.

"Yes."

_Ahh, this will do nicely. _I heard Rosalie think from the kitchen._ I can bang this mixing bowl into a dog dish nicely. I'll just have to buy Esme a new mixing bowl next time I'm out._

I heard the sound of the bowl protesting and she bent it to her desired shape. I sighed, and tried my hardest to keep the smirk of my face.

Rosalie entered the living room a few minutes later, and shoved the dog dish, complete with a steak and baked potato into Jacob's face. I noticed then that she had scratched _Fido_ into the side. "Enjoy, mongrel."

"Thanks, Blondie." He said happily, not bothered at all at the presentation of the food.

Rosalie snorted, bothered that Jacob didn't seemed phased by the bowl.

"Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain?" He asked. "A golden retriever." he answered without so much as a breath in between.

"I've heard that one, too." She said, glaring at him.

"I'll keep trying." Jacob promised.

Jacob started eating then. _Hmm, this is really good, even with the vampire stench. I wonder if I could throughly gross blondie out by licking the bowl clean._

I chuckled softly to myself. I could guarantee him that such an action would gross Rosalie out quite thoroughly.

Bella was lost in thought, when she brought her hand up to the back of Jacob's neck and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Time for a haircut, huh?" He asked

"You are getting a little shaggy." She said "Maybe -"

"Let me guess, someone around here used to cut hair in a salon in Paris?"

She chuckled. "Probably."

"No thanks." He declined. "I'm good for a few more weeks." His thoughts then turned to Bella, wondering how much time _she_ had left. "So . . . um . . . what's the, er, date? You know, the due date for the little monster."

Bella smacked him on the back of the head. I shot him a glare. I didn't call him on thinking things like that, but it was inexcusable to say such a thing to Bella. Even _he_ should be able to see how much she loved it.

"I'm serious." He said, defending himself. "I want to know how long I'm gonna have to be here." _How long _you're _gonna be here._

"I don't know," She murmured, softly. "Not exactly. Obviously we're not going with the nine-month model here, and we can't get an ultrasound, so Carlisle is guesstimating from how big I am. Normal people are supposed to be about forty centimeters here" - she explained, while running her fingers down her stomach, explaining it all the Jacob - "when the baby is fully grown. One centimeter for every week. I was thirty this morning, and I've been gaining about two centimeters a day, sometimes more. . ."

_Two centimeters to a day. _He thought _ So two weeks to a day, and only 10 weeks left. That leaves what? Four? Four and a half more days?_

"You okay?" Bella asked him.

I turned my head away from them, looking out the window. I hated the reminder of how much time Bella had left. She would die in only a few short days. Even if she pulled through this as a vampire, her life as a human was almost over. I mourned that for her, even if she didn't.

_I _would miss certain parts of her humanity. She would no longer be the same woman I fell in love with. Her clumsiness, that I found so endearing, would be gone. Her heartbeat, her blush. . . I would miss these most of all. Not that I wasn't looking forward to a day when I didn't have to be so careful around her, I would no longer have to worry about her tripping over air and cracking her skull open. She would be more durable, and I could worry less.

Then a new thought entered my mind, _When Bella became a vampire, would I be able to read her thoughts?. _I pondered that thought for a minute or two, struggling with myself. I knew Bella valued her privacy, and liked that I couldn't read her mind, but the thought of getting a glimpse into that mind was too delicious. Hers was the one mind I truly wanted a glimpse into.

"It's going to be okay." I heard Bella finally say

"Right." Jacob muttered.

She curled against his arm them. "I didn't think you would come." She said, changing the subject. "Seth said you would and so did Edward, but I didn't believe them."

"Why not?" He asked, surprised.

"You're not happy here. But you came anyway."

"You wanted me here." He said, shrugging.

"I know. But you didn't have to come, because it's not fair for me to want you here. I would have understood."

"Can I ask you something?" Jacob said after a long pause.

"Of course."

"Why _do_ you want me here? Seth could keep you warm, and he's probably easier to be around, happy little punk. But when _I_ walk in the door, you smile like I'm your favourite person in the world."

"You're one of them." She answered quickly, not taking time to think about what he said.

"That sucks, you know."

"Yeah, Sorry."

"Why though? You didn't answer that."

I tried my hardest to make it look as if I wasn't paying attention to, or cared about the answer. In truth, this same question that had been eating me up for days now. I was more interested in the answer than I wanted to admit. I chastised myself for not being more secure in Bella's love for me.

"It feels . . _complete_ when you're here, Jacob. Like all my family is together. I mean, I guess that's what it's like -- I've never had a big family before now. It's nice." She smiled quickly, and then it faded. "But it's just not whole unless you're here."

"I'll never be part of your family, Bella."

"You've always been a part of my family." She responded immediately

"I heard Jacob grind his teeth together. "That's a crap answer."

"What's a good one?" She asked, surprised by his reaction.

"How about 'Jacob, I get a kick out of your pain.' "

Bella flinched. "You'd like that better?"

"It's easier, at least. I could wrap my head around it. I could deal with it."

Bella closed her eyes, and frowned. "We got off track, Jake. Out of balance. You're supposed to be part of my life - I can feel that, and so can you. But not like this. We did something wrong. No. I did. I did something wrong, and we got off track. . ." Her voice trailed off, and her frown faded from her face. I knew that peaceful face, Bella had fallen asleep.

A little snore escaped her beautiful lips and Jacob looked down at her, slightly amused.

"She's exhausted." I explained. "It's been a long day. A hard day. I think she would have gone to sleep earlier, but she was waiting for you."

"Seth said it broke another of her ribs."

"Yes. It's making it hard for her to breath."

"Great." He said sarcastically.

"Let me know when she gets hot again." I said.

"Yeah."

Jacob looked down at Bella, the arm that wasn't touching him still had goosebumps. _I wonder where that blanket went._ He thought, but before he could finish the thought, I had grabbed it and draped it over her. _Hmmm, this mind reading thing could really save some time. I guess I won't have to make a big thing out of my accusation of what was going on with Charlie. He could probably just hear how furious - _

I decided to interrupt him there. I agreed with him. "Yes, it's not a good idea."

"Then why?" _Why is she telling him she's on the mend, when it'll only make him more miserable in the end._

"She can't bear his anxiety."

"So, it's better - "

"No." I cut him off, knowing what he was going say. "It's _not_ better. But I'm not going to force her to do anything that makes her unhappy now. Whatever happens, this makes her feel better. I'll deal with the rest afterward."

_That doesn't sound right. Bella wouldn't just shuffle Charlie's pain off to a later date. Even if she was dying. She must have some kind of plan._

"She's very sure she's going to live." I answered.

"But not human." He pointed out.

"No, not human. But she hopes to see Charlie again, anyway."

"See. Charlie." He said, looking at me. "Afterwards. See Charlie when she's all sparkly white with the bright red eyes? I'm not a bloodsucker, so maybe I'm missing something, but _Charlie_ seems like kind of a strange choice for her first meal"

I sighed. "She knows she won't be able to be near him for at least a year. She thinks she can stall. Tell Charlie she has to go to a special hospital on the other side of the world. Keep in contact through phone calls. . . "

"That's insane!"

"Yes."

"Charlie's not stupid. Even is she doesn't kill him, he's going to notice a difference."

"She's sort of banking on that."

Jacob just stared at me, waiting for me to explain.

"She wouldn't be aging, of course, so that would set a time limit, even if Charlie accepted whatever excuse she comes up with for the changes." I smiled faintly. "Do you remember when you tried to tell her about your transformation? How you made her guess?"

"She told you about that?" He asked, surprised.

"Yes. She was explaining her . . . idea. You see, she's not allowed to tell Charlie the truth - it would be very dangerous for him. But he's a smart, practical man. She thinks he'll come up with his own explanation. She assumes he'll get it wrong. After all, we hardly adhere to vampire canon. He'll make some wrong assumption about us, like she did in the beginning, and we'll go along with it. She think she'll be able to see him. . . from time to time."

"Insane."

"Yes." I agreed.

_It's weak of him to give in. I wonder if he's not expecting her to survive this at all. Placating her, so she'll be happy a little longer._

"I'll deal with whatever comes." I whispered. "I won't cause her pain now."

"Four days?" He asked.

"Approximately."

"Then what?"

"What do you mean exactly?"

_Bella had said something about it being surrounded by something like vampire skin. How does that work, how does it get out?_

"From what little research we've been able to do, it would appear the creatures use their own teeth to escape the womb."

"Research?" He asked weakly.

"That's why you haven't seen Jasper or Emmett around much. That's what Carlisle is doing now. Trying to decipher ancient stories and myths, as much as we can with what we have to work with here, looking for anything that might help us predict the creature's behaviour."

_Stories? If there are myths then. . . _

"Then this thing is not the first of it's kind? Maybe. It's all very sketchy. The myths could easily be the products of fear and imagination. Though. . . " I hesitated. "your myths are true, are they not? Perhaps these are, too. They do seem to be localized, linked. . . "

"How did you find. . . ?"

"There was a woman we encountered in South America. She'd been raised in the traditions of her people. She'd heard of warnings about such creatures, old stories that had been passed down."

"What were the warnings?" He whispered.

"That the creature must be killed immediately. Before it could gain too much strength."

_Just like Sam thought. Was he right?_

"Of course, their legends say the same of us. That we must be destroyed. That we are soulless murderers."

_Two for two._

I chuckled once.

"What did their stories say about the . . . mothers?" He asked.

A memory flashed into my brain, Bella and I were standing in the kitchen in the house on Isle Esme, our cleaning lady telling me what the legends said of the mothers. _"Morte"_ she told me. Pain ripped through my body, and I knew I couldn't answer Jacob's question. My voice was lost somewhere in my body, pulled down in my misery.

It was Rosalie that answered for me.

"Of course there were no survivors. Giving birth in the middle of a disease-infested swamp with a medicine man smearing sloth spit across your face to drive out the evil spirits was never the safest method. Even the normal births went badly half the time. None of them had what this baby has - caregivers with an idea of what the baby needs, who try to meet those needs. A doctor with a totally unique knowledge of vampire nature. A plan in place to deliver the baby as safely as possible. Venom that will repair anything that goes wrong. The baby will be fine. And those other mothers would probably have survived if they'd had that - if they even existed in the first place. Something I am not convinced of." She sniffed, disdainfully.

_The baby, the baby. Like that's all that matters. Bella's life is a minor detail huh? Easy to blow off._

I knew Rosalie wasn't only thinking of the baby, she wouldn't have mentioned the venom repairing anything that could go wrong if she weren't also thinking about Bella's life. I knew my sister, and I knew this was about as caring and unselfish as she got out loud, and in front of witnesses. That didn't comfort me though, and anger ripped through my body at her flippant disregard for what could go wrong _despite_ all that we had. My hands balls up into fists and I sank down into a crouching position without thinking.

_Allow me_, Jake suggested.

This pulled me out of my anger, and curiosity peaked my interest. I raised an eyebrow at him.

Jacob reached down and picked up his dish from dinner off the floor and with a flick of his wrist, whipped it into the back of Rosalie's head. It smashed flat and ricocheted across the room. "Dumb blonde." He muttered

Rosalie turned her head slowly to look at Jacob, her eyes blazing. "You. Got. Food. In. My. Hair."

That did it. Jacob cracked up, followed by Alice. I was concentrating on Bella too much to laugh. Jacob tried his best not to wake her, but his laugh shook the whole couch, and she did wake.

"What's so funny?" She asked

"I got food in her hair." He said, still laughing.

"I'm not going to forget this, _Dog_." Rosalie hissed.

"S'not so hard to erase a blonde's memory." Jacob replied. "Just blow in her ear."

"Get some new jokes." She snapped back.

"C'mon, Jake. Leave Rose alo-" Bella stopped mid sentence and sucked in a sharp breath. I was up in less that a second, ripping the blanket off her to examine her stomach. "He's just. . . stretching." She panted, trying to calm me.

I placed both my hands on either side of her face. She looked place, her teeth clenched, trying to hold back a scream. "Carlisle?" I called, in a low voice, trying to help keep Bella calm.

"Right here." He said from behind me, walking into the living room.

"Okay." Bella said. "Think it's over. Poor kid doesn't have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big. You know, he reminds me of you, Jake." She said affectionately.

"Do _not _compare me to that thing." He spit out between his teeth.

"I just meant your growth spurt" She said, looking hurt by Jacob's words. "You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast."

"Hmmm," Carlisle murmured, looking at Jacob

"What?" Jacob demanded.

_I think she has a point, this child may be more like Jacob than I'd ever considered. Could they share the same chromosome count? _"You know that I was wondering about the fetus's genetic makeup, Jacob. About his chromosomes."

"What of it?"

"Well, taking your similarities into consideration - "

"Similari_ties?_" He growled

"The accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice cannot see either of you."

Jacob's face went blank. _I'd forgotten about the second one._ He thought.

"Well, I wonder it that means that we have an answer. If the similarities are gene-deep."

"Twenty-four pairs." I muttered, finishing Carlisle's thought.

"You don't know that." Jacob shot back.

"No. But it's interesting to speculate."

"Yeah. Just _fascinating._" Jacob said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Bella's light snores started up again, and I took this time to start up a conversation with Carlisle about the fetus's possible chromosome count. Alice added in tidbits here and there, giving Carlisle and I more to discuss and think about.

I looked over to Jacob, to ask him something that related to our conversation, only to find him passed out on the couch next to Bella. It could wait. They needed their sleep.

**AN - Ok, so I know I skimmed over Carlisle and Edward's conversation about the chromosomes, but I just don't remember enough from the little bit of high school science classes I took 10 years ago to get into any kind of detail there. Carlisle and Edward both have multiple medical degrees, and I just barely passed the sciences LOL. Forgive me!**


	15. New Thoughts

**A/N Sorry about the ridiculously long wait. Real life and all that. I'm back now though, and I WILL finish this story. We're just getting to the good stuff! LOL**

**Huge Huge thanks to all the favourites and alerts I've gotten in my hiatus, and all the PM's asking me to come back and finished because you loved it. It brightened up a trying time in my life, and I dedicate this chapter to all my loyal readers who never lost faith in me and continued to love my story.**

**Disclaimer - SM owns all.**

Chapter 15

I kept a close eye on Bella for several hours. Her body temperature changed so frequently, and I didn't want to run the risk of her waking up.

"Jacob" I whispered, shaking him slightly.

"What? Go away, bloodsucker. I'm sleeping."

"Bella's overheating, _Dog._ Get your flea-bitten, mangey fur away from her." Rosalie snapped from across the room.

"Shut it, Blondie." Jacob muttered, but shifted on the couch away from Bella. He stretched and figured this would be a good time to run some legs of the route everyone was planning to take to hunt.

"Thank you." I said quietly. "If the route is clear, they'll go today."

"I'll let you know." He said as he stood and stretched. He quickly crossed the room and was out the front door.

"_Finally!" _Rosalie huffed. "Now if only the stink would leave with him."

Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper came down into the room as soon as Jake left. "Son, can I steal you away for a moment?"

I looked down at Bella, asleep and curled up at my side. Anxiety washed over me. Intellectually I knew that if I had to leave her side for a moment or two, it was best if she was sleeping, but emotionally it was so stressful on me to leave her at all right now. I felt a wave of calm wash over me.

"Don't worry, Edward. We'll take good care of her. You'll still be in the house and will be able to hear everything."

I nodded. "Emmett, can you sit with her and keep her cool?"

"Sure thing, Bro."

I stood up from the couch and crossed the room. Carlisle gestured towards the stairs. "Let's head up to the attic."

Once in the attic, Carlisle opened a drawer and pulled out a metal syringe. "It's stainless steel. Should hold the venom until we need it. I would feel more comfortable if we had it on hand before the rest of us left camping, just in case."

I nodded and took the syringe from him, letting the venom flow freely into my mouth. When I had enough pooled in my mouth, I put the tip of the syringe in and sucked the venom into it. When it was full, I capped it and help it in my hand. I stared at it for a minute or two, a multitude of emotions swirled through me. It was absolutely surreal that at this moment I was holding in my hand the item, that in just a few days, would make Bella just like me. An immortal. Mine, forever.

"I think I'll need to pick up more blood, while we're on our hunting trip. Bella's been going through quite a bit, and our supply is getting quite low."

I nodded "Sounds good. Jacob's pack is out scouting the area. As soon as I get the nod from him, you can go. Is everything set up and ready for the birth?"

"Yes, everything is ready. As soon as we're back, I'll check Bella again and we can decide how long we want to wait."

"Whatever you think is best Carlisle." I said "Is there anything else?"

"No that's everything. Go back to your wife now, son."

When I reentered the the living room I found Bella curled up against Emmett, talking in her sleep. It tried to ignore her mumblings as much as I could. She was dreaming about happier times, mostly the island it seemed. I had a hard time thinking about those things. I refused to think about our honeymoon, I couldn't even bear to think about the wedding. At this point, I was just trying my hardest to keep my mind from slipping into the darkness it was in when I left Bella after her 18th birthday. I couldn't allow myself to think about her being better off without me. We had already come to the conclusion that we couldn't live without the other.

Alice's thoughts weren't doing me much good either. She was still trying her hardest to see Bella after the birth, but there was always a wall blocking any visions of Bella or the thing she was carrying. Alice was not happy with her malfunctioning talent, and extremely worried about her best friend. She was so sure with her vision of Bella as one of us, spending her eternity with the rest of our family, and now that she could no longer get that vision she was getting more and more depressed. Alice's heart was breaking almost as much as mine, every time something new came up with this unnatural pregnancy. She had lost that spark in her eyes, and no longer seemed to exude happiness. She would be devastated if anything went wrong and we lost Bella.

Bella hummed happily against Emmett and slid her hands down around her belly, hugging it in her sleep. She looked so peaceful and happy, and I tried my hardest not to think about what that thing growing in her stomach was doing to the family. Her eyes shot open suddenly, and she arched her back letting out a loud gasp. I was at her side instantly, pulling her from Emmett, who was terrified he'd done something wrong.

"Bella, Love, what is it?"

"Ed - ward." She choked out. "Ow." she slid her hands down her stomach to her pelvic bone. "He kicked"

"You need an Xray." I picked her up quickly and started across the room

"Don't be ridiculous, Edward." Rosalie said "Nothing is broken. I didn't hear a bone break."

I growled at my sister, and tried my hardest not to think about darting across the room and ripping her to shreds. I continued up the stairs with Bella, while Emmett mentally apologized for his wife's behaviour. Rosalie huffed, put out that she'd have to get up and come upstairs for an Xray she thought was silly and a waste of time.

Carlisle was waiting for us when we entered the attic. _Everything's all set up, Son. Just set her down on the table for me. I'm pretty sure Rose is right, I didn't hear a break, but it's always better safe than sorry._

I grumbled under my breath and set Bella down on the Xray table. She grabbed my arm as I was walking away and gave me a small smile. I smiled back and leaned over to kiss her cheek. "Just hold still, Love. I'll be right over here."

"I think I'm an expert at taking an Xray by now. Do you remember who you're married too?" Bella replied sarcastically.

I chuckled lightly. "Of course, Love"

Carlisle took the Xrays of Bella's pelvis, and Rosalie came over to look over my shoulder when we were looking at the images.

"See! I _told _ you I didn't hear a crack. You need your ears checked, Edward."

I let a scowl cross my face and shot a glance to Emmett who was across the attic from us.

_I know, Bro. But please don't rip my wife apart. I actually do love her. She doesn't mean to be so…umm…hard to take?_

I rolled my eyes at his careful choice of words, _hard to take_ wasn't the choice of words I would use right now. The names that were crossing my mind right now would make my mother shudder in her grave, and probably shock Esme (not to mention the rest of the family)

I turned to Bella when I was sure I had successfully wiped the scowl of my face. Rosalie was handing her a cup of blood, as Bella looked awfully pale. "Are you in pain, Love?"

"I'm still a little sore from his kick. He's just getting so big and every movement feels like he's trying to burst his way out. I'll be ok"

"Why don't we head downstairs? Jacob is here. Carlisle he would like to talk to you." I tried to ignore the smile that spread across her face, or the way her whole demeanour brightened at the mention of _his _name. It seemed the further along in her pregnancy she got, the more attached to Jacob she became. I couldn't understand how she could insist she was so in love with me, that she would risk her life for our child, but still be so affected by Jacob. I worried with each day, that as this pregnancy went on and got more and more painful for her, she was beginning to realize that she made a mistake and picked the wrong person. It was obvious when she looked at me, that she did love me, but perhaps that was no longer enough for her? If she made it through this, and chose to stay with me, we would have to go off on our own for a while. Get away from Jacob. She needed time to get over him. We needed to concentrate on us for a few decades. Maybe by the time we returned, Jacob will have imprinted.

We headed down the stairs. I tried my hardest to compensate for any movement that may hurt her. I wanted to prevent as much pain as I could.

"Jake." She whispered and smiled another one of her brilliant smiles that seemed to be only reserved for Jacob these days. I ignored his presence completely. Focusing in on anything I could to avoid his mind. I knew it was childish, but I couldn't handle hearing his love for my wife right now. I was too busy agonizing over her love for him.

"Carlisle. We went half way to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. You're good to go."

"Thank you, Jacob. This is good timing. There's much we need." He mentally tallied the amount of blood left in the fridge. Not quite enough to last a day. He was desperate to get more back to the house _before_ we ran out, and he'd have to resort to more drastic measures.

"Honestly," Jacob said. "I think you're safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push."

Carlisle nodded, thinking it would probably be best to take more than 3. He could send Jasper and Alice home early with a few necessities, while he gathered more, just in case. "If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa--"

"Not a chance." Rosalie hissed, crossing her arms and sticking her chin up in the air like a spoiled child. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt" Carlisle pleaded.

"I'll hunt we _he _does." She growled, jerking her head towards me. I rolled my eyes at her, not amused at all by her mental insinuations that I would harm the baby if she weren't here.

Emmett and Jasper rushed down the stairs. Emmett was trying to figure out a way to talk his wife into hunting, but decided it was for the best if he just left it alone. He missed her terribly and really wanted some time away with her, but he knew her need for a baby, and that it was pointless to try and get her away from Bella right now.

Alice and Esme joined the boys at the back door, and after thanking Jacob, Carlisle joined the other four and they headed out. I missed Emmett immediately. I'd taken to concentrating on his mind since we'd been back. He was upset about the situation enough that his mind was no longer so childish, he'd stopped teasing me on a constant loop, but out of the rest of the family, his mind was still the most joyous.

Jacob sauntered over to one of the arm chairs, and flung himself down, making sure to stick out his limbs just enough to upset Rosalie.

"Ew. Someone put the dog out."

"Have you heard this one, Psycho?" He asked her. "How do a blonde's brain cells die?"

_Go jump in front of a bus, Dog. _

"Well? Do you know the punch line or not."

_I'd like to punch you, you stupid mutt. Get the hell out of my house._

_"_Has she heard it?" Jacob asked, turning to me.

I didn't appreciate being pulled into this little feud. I knew the punch line to his joke, and it wouldn't be a pretty sight when Rosalie heard it. I didn't look away from Bella when I answered him, "No."

"Awesome. You'll enjoy this, Bloodsucker." He said, turning to Rosalie. "A blonde's brain cells die _alone_."

Rosalie's reaction surprised me. I was sure she would fly into one of her rages, but instead an image of her laying in the street, broken and hurting flashed in her mind. I saw a quick look of absolute devastation and sadness cross her face before she caught herself, and straightened her face out to a look of boredom. "I have killed a hundred times more than you have, you disgusting beast. Don't forget that." She said calmly.

"Someday, Beauty Queen, you're going to get tired of just threatening me. I'm really looking forward to that."

"Enough, Jacob." Bella said, sharply. A scowl crossing her face.

"You want me to take off?" Jacob hoped and feared at the same time.

Her face straightened out and the scowl was replaced by surprise "No! Of course not."

I let a small sigh slip, thankful that Bella wouldn't be able to hear it. I was secretly hoping that she had gotten upset with him, and _would_ ask him to leave.

"You look tired." Bella said, sounding concerned.

"Dead Beat."

"_I'd _like to beat you dead." Rosalie muttered. I only felt a little guilty when I admitted to myself that I had wanted to do the same thing on many occasions.

Jacob just slumped further down into the chair, a little smirk on his face.

"Rosalie?" Bella whispered "Would you mind filling my cup back up?" Bella's face blushed a deep red. She still felt embarrassment at the rate she was drinking blood right now, even though we'd all assured her that no one was judging her, and we all understood.

Rosalie grabbed the cup and flitted from the room, happy to be away from Jacob.

…_where…blood… thirsty… _

I furrowed my brow, trying to figure out where the new voice in my head was coming from. I didn't smell an unfamiliar scent anywhere around the house. Jacob, and certainly Seth or Leah, would have smelled an unfamiliar vampire in the area as well. I looked up at Bella, who was chewing on her bottom lip, thinking about something intently. Surely I didn't…hear her?

"Did you say something?" I asked

She looked over to me, confused. "Me? I didn't say anything"

… _Mommy…_

I moved onto my knees, leaning over Bella and concentrating on her to try and hear more than just the snippets I was getting. Was I finally getting a glimpse into Bella's mind?

"What were you thinking about just now?" I asked, hopeful it was something about her mom.

"Just…Esme's island. And feathers."

I was upset for a split second, fearing that I wasn't actually hearing my Love's mind like I'd hoped, when it occurred to me that Bella wouldn't refer to Renee as "Mommy", but she did refer to _herself_ as Mommy.

"Say something else." I whispered, hoping her voice would trigger again what I thought I was hearing.

"Like what? Edward, what's going on?" She asked. This time, the voice in my head was louder, and clearer. I was getting easier to hear.

…_My Mommy... beautiful voice._

I was only vaguely aware that there were others in the room, from their gasps, when I placed my hands on Bella's stomach. I was staring intently at it, trying to listen for more from my child.

"The f-… It… the baby likes the sound of your voice."

"Holy Crow!" Bella shouted "You can hear him!" and then she winced.

I moved my hand up to rub the spot that our baby had just kicked. "Shh. You startled it… him."

Bella rubbed her hands up and down the side of her belly. "Sorry Baby"

I listened intently, trying to make out as much as I could. It was still mostly coming in snippets, and was very quiet sometimes. I wondered if it would always be like this, had it inherited some of Bella's silent mind, or was it simply because he was young? I was only catching words here and there, occasionally the odd 3-4 word sentence.

"What's he thinking now?" Bella asked me after a moment.

"It… he or she, is… " I looked up at Bella, finally understanding her love and devotion to our child. "He's _happy,_" Bella's face lit up and two tears ran silently down her cheeks.

"Of course you're happy, pretty baby, of course you are. How could you not be, all safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, little EJ, of course you're happy."

"What did you call him?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. Had she really picked out names?

Bella blushed, "I sort of named him. I didn't think you would want…well you know."

"EJ?" I asked

"Your father's name was Edward, too." She said

"Yes, it was. What - "I started, but was startled by my son or daughter's thoughts breaking my train of thought. "Hmmmm"

"What?" Bella asked.

"He likes my voice too." I said, amazed

"Of course he does. You have the most beautiful voice in the universe. Who wouldn't love it?"

"Do you have a back up plan?" Rosalie asked "What if he's a she?"

"I kicked a few things around." Bella answered, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Playing with Renee and Esme. I was thinking Renesmee."

"Ruhnezmay?" Rosalie asked

"R-e-n-e-s-m-e-e. Too weird?"

No, I like it." Rosalie said, "It's beautiful. And one of a kind, so _that _fits." Rosalie was tossing both names around in her head. Liking the girl name, but not convinced on EJ. She was hoping Emmett would call him Eddie and it would stick. No way were they naming my son _Eddie._

"I still think he's an Edward." She said confidently.

I liked Renesmee a lot better than EJ as well, and was secretly hoping for a daughter over a son. A beautiful little girl that looked just like her mother, that I could spoil to my hearts content.

"What?" Bella asked me, "What's he thinking now?"

Words of love and contentment hit me every time Bella spoke or touched her belly. I laid my head against her stomach trying to get a better listen to everything he or she was thinking.

"He loves you." I whispered. "He absolutely _adores_ you!"

All of a sudden, Jacob jumped up to his feet. All three of us snapped our heads up in his direction. I had been so busy concentrating on listening to our child, that I was actually surprised by Jacob's reaction. Hatred for the child and disappointment in me swam around his head. A flash of what Bella and I looked like bent over her stomach, our eyes glowing with love for our child, flashed through his mind. He felt like he lost his only ally in his hatred for the thing that was destroying his Bella.

He was unsure what to do, he wanted to bolt, but seemed frozen in place. I ran over the the end table and grabbed the keys to my Aston Martin and threw them at him.

"Go, Jacob." I urged him, knowing his need to get out of here and blow off some steam.

He ran from the room and into the garage. I heard him tear down the driveway, and snuck a quick glance out the window, hoping this wouldn't be the last time I saw my car in one piece.

_Are you insane? You lent him the Aston Martin?_ Rosalie thought

"He's a car guy." I explained. "I know he would have no problem wrecking the Volvo, I'm hoping his love for fine pieces of machinery stops him from wrecking the Vanquish."

"Where is he going?" Bella asked, looking hurt.

"He just needs some time, Love. He'll be back."


End file.
